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| 1 Joke a Day |
| This blog uploads a new joke on a daily basis. It's all about making you laugh, brigthen your day and cheer you up! After all, laughter is the best medicine! |
| Language: English |
| RSS Feeds for this Blog |
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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 239 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 221485 |
| Visitors Out: 235 |
| Total Visitors Out: 235 |
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| What's So Funny? |
| 2008-05-08 02:15:01 |
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!" He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is re...
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| Under the Table |
| 2008-05-07 02:07:01 |
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the be...
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| Embarrassing Moment |
| 2008-05-06 13:47:29 |
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
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| Make Frog Sound, Grandpa |
| 2008-05-05 02:44:43 |
There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a frog,randpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now."So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will you please make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that. I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please... Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?""Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked. The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!"
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| Stop Him from Snoring |
| 2008-05-04 03:05:44 |
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine. "Ho...
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| Secret Service Blonde |
| 2008-05-03 02:10:01 |
The Secret Service was looking for more employees. They put up a sign and the next day they picked the next three people. They brought the first guy into a room and gave him a pistol and said" Your wife is in that room go in and shoot her" The guy looked at them and said" No I can't do it" So the Secret Service brought out the next guy and told him the same thing and handed him the gun. "He went into the room and came back out but he didn't want to shoot her. So the Secret Service who was really desperate brought the last person in. She was a blonde so they were worried. They said" Your husbandis in that room and I want you to shoot him." "Alright" she announced. She went into the room and the Secret Service heard alot of crashing and banging. They went in and found the man dead. "What the hell is going on" "Oh The gun was a blank so I beat him to death with a chair."
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| Think First |
| 2008-05-02 02:14:12 |
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
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| Keep Your Photo |
| 2008-05-01 05:36:00 |
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others."
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| Making Baby |
| 2008-04-30 03:36:24 |
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale."Good morning, madam. I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies" "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room fl...
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| Age and Sex |
| 2008-04-29 04:43:29 |
This young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him, "when you first get married, you want it all the time...and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year like maybe on your anniversary. The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw You', and I holler back, 'Screw You too!'"
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| Farm Animals' Sounds |
| 2008-04-28 03:36:09 |
A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. "Who knows what sound a cow makes?" she asked. Cindy put her hand up and said "Moooo!" "Very good" replied the teacher,"what sound do sheep make?" "Baaaa" answered Jimmy. She continued this for a while. Then she asked, "What sound does a pig make?" All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose Little Johnny at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed, "Up against the wall you son of a bitch!!"
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| Sick Husband |
| 2008-04-27 05:17:42 |
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife".
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| Clever Dog |
| 2008-04-26 09:23:45 |
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. ...
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| Pocket Cleaner |
| 2008-04-25 04:33:56 |
Wife: "I mended that hole in your pocket last night after you'd gone to bed, dear. Now, I ask you, am I not the thoughtful little wife?" Husband: "Well, yes, you're thoughtful enough, but tell me, dear, how did you discover there was a hole in my pocket?"
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| Extra Length |
| 2008-04-24 06:45:17 |
There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip,snip,snip, snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the s...
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| Doctors' Meeting |
| 2008-04-23 07:38:11 |
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"The other three agreed.The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."
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| Cowboy Wishes |
| 2008-04-22 08:09:30 |
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake."Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a body like Arnold Schwarzenagger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this horse I'm, riding."The rattlesnake said, "All r...
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| Dad Won't Like It |
| 2008-04-21 04:45:48 |
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate. "Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I'll help you overturn the wagon.""That's very nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to.""Aw, come on, son!" the farmer insisted."Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "but Dad won't like it."After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Dad's going to be real upset.""Don't be silly!" said the neighbor. "By the way, where is he?""Under the wagon," replied Willis.
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| Facelift |
| 2008-04-20 06:31:19 |
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the salesclerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29." "I am actually 47." This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your hairy w...
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| 10 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter |
| 2008-04-19 02:58:03 |
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. 4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. 5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 6. Bring cheerleaders. 7. Walk in, get the exam, sit ...
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| Duck should be Yellow |
| 2008-04-18 02:27:23 |
A kindergarten teacher handed out a colouring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to colour the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bobby, the class rebel, coloured the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?" Young Bobby replied with "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
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| Reward for Goodness |
| 2008-04-17 03:41:24 |
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a fou...
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| Bible Studies Class |
| 2008-04-16 07:23:09 |
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day, during the Bible studies class, the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Apr...
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| 20 Seminars Men MUST Attend |
| 2008-04-15 05:49:06 |
1. Combating Stupidity2. You, too, can do housework3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut4. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks") 5. Get a life -- learn to cook 6. Understanding your financial incompetence 7. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money 8. Reasons to give flowers 9. How to stay awake after sex 10. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet") 11. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms 12. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency 13. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex 14. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes 15. Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too 16. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home 17. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!") 18. Changing your underwear -- It really works 19. Techniques for calling home20. You -- The Weaker Sex
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| Marriage Lies |
| 2008-04-14 07:04:38 |
There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery operated pleasure devise. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly, "I'll explain the toy if you explain the kids."
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| Missing Husband |
| 2008-04-13 07:34:02 |
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall , blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
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| 10 Things Learned from Children |
| 2008-04-12 09:45:04 |
1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.8. Some things will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old that you'd imagine would remain in him or her.9. Super glue is forever.10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
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| Dangerous Squirrels |
| 2008-04-11 04:56:38 |
A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting. This was Joe’s first time ever hunting, so he was following Bob’s lead.Bob saw a small herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and to be quiet! After a few minutes, Bob heard a loud scream. He ran back and asked Joe what had happened. Joe said "There was this snake and he slittered across my feet, but I never screamed. Then there was this bear that came up to me and snarled, but I never screamed.""So then what did make you scream," Bob asked, exasperated. "Well," Joe continued, "two squirells crawled up my pants and I overheard them say, "Should we take them home or eat ’em now?""
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| 0 to 200 in 6 seconds |
| 2008-04-10 02:27:06 |
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday.
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| The Doctor and the Lawyer |
| 2008-04-09 04:08:30 |
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. However, their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?""I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
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| TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work |
| 2008-04-08 14:53:32 |
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. 1. " ...... AMEN!"
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| Farting All The Time |
| 2008-04-07 02:11:38 |
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"The Doctor nods, "Hmm."Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?""Hmm," says the Doctor,He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?""No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
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| Bear and Rabbit |
| 2008-04-06 07:26:43 |
A bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good about it. He looks down and sees a rabbit dumping a load right next to him. The bear looks at the rabbit and says, "Hey, uhh Mr. Rabbit, uhh do you have a problem withthe shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit shakes his head no and says, "Nope, never bothers me." The bear says, "Good!" takes the rabbit and wipes his ass with him and then tosses him aside.
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| Better Choice |
| 2008-04-05 02:20:57 |
A minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
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| Play Safe |
| 2008-04-04 02:45:27 |
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a dept. store and asks -"W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" And the clerk just seems to ignore him.Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
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| George Falls in Love |
| 2008-04-03 06:08:31 |
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot." "Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private con...
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| Glad to be drunk |
| 2008-04-02 05:57:55 |
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?""Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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| The Envelopes |
| 2008-04-01 06:58:34 |
The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are numbered 1 to 3. He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: "These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third." The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them. Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast. After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: "Blame me, your predecessor for every thing". Wonderful idea he thinks, a...
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| Is He Jumping Down? |
| 2008-03-31 02:11:13 |
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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| Bet to Piss |
| 2008-03-29 05:57:32 |
A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd like to make a bet with you.'' The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.''So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop. The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts pissing. He doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place, in the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything.After ...
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