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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 7 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 263464 |
| Visitors Out: 4112 |
| Total Visitors Out: 10060 |
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| Not wanted |
| 2007-09-28 09:10:00 |
Just had a quick look round and after looking on humor-blogs.com was a little surprised to find that after not posting for a while I have been kicked of the list, how strange. My blog was up for review whilst I have been ill and as such I didn’t expect anything glowing as a result of not having any content for a while. But still kicked of the list.Technorati Tags:humor, blog, list, kicked, reviewGenerated By Technorati Tag Generator...
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| Back....Just |
| 2007-09-28 08:32:00 |
When I last posted I had no idea it would such a long time before I even had the energy to sit at a keyboard again. My medical indiscretion whacked me out far more than I imagined it would and even given the energy to type the last thing on my mind has been funny.I’m feeling lots better now and although not one hundred percent I at least have managed to get into the swing again. Thank you for visiting the blog and showing your concern, it was a nice surprise to see smiley faces waiting when I logged in....
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| Less than 100%. |
| 2007-09-13 05:28:00 |
No post for the last two days, I have been laid up with a bad chest infection and not had the energy to do anything. Couple of other things have gone dickey this week to and just after a check up that gave me the all clear. One of the down sides to being ill (apart from fighting for breath in between throwing up and getting hardly any sleep when you need it most) is that you are not allowed to enjoy your misery. Some kind friend who on hearing of your malaise invariably visits you and proceeds to give you a run down on whets wrong with them. They will ask you how you feel but before you get very far into your tail of whoe will stop you saying “You think that’s bad, I was in agony last week with, blah, blah, blah, You get a blow by blow account of how they suffered for days, even weeks ...
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| Stripes for men. |
| 2007-09-10 05:16:00 |
Yesterday the sun was shining, and as it hadn’t rained for a few days I couldn’t put off mowing the lawn any longer. I call it lawn but its little more than a vast expanse of Australian bush land around sixty foot long and thirty wide and that’s just to the right of the path. On the other side in front of where I park my car is a strip fifteen foot wide and thirty-foot long. So unless I keep on top of it (And I don’t) making it tidy is a daunting task.I have to have a run at these things so coffee was the order of the day followed by toast and then more coffee. I placed my safety chair near the front door, in case I needed to sit down, I have a great wheeze, if I am forced to exert myself in pointless exercise like cutting grass, then the safety chair is a must. It works like this;...
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| The copper top tart. |
| 2007-09-08 10:46:00 |
It amazes me how people who abuse and torture their bodies with drugs, booze and raucous living can outlast seasoned fitness freaks who do all the right things health wise. One such person is Nora, or as she was known locally “The copper top tart”.Nora has always been a tart; she learnt her trade during the black out of the Second World War. It was then that she discovered American soldiers would pay handsomely for a few hurried moments of sex with a then pretty girl who didn’t much care what they did to her as long as she got her few bob for the job. British Tommie's were among her patrons too, but she preferred the yanks because they treated her well, and gave her presents.I’m not being unkind by calling her a tart, this was how she referred to herself, and was I think proud of h...
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| Rupert the tramp. |
| 2007-09-07 09:03:00 |
Rupert the tramp was a familiar figure in Gorton during the late seventies, early eighties. He was tall, gaunt and easily recognised by his shabby greasy clothes and wild hair that gave him a Ben Gun appearance. Most days he could be seen walking the empty streets of terraced houses awaiting demolition. This was where he earned his living; this was where he lived. During the day he would comb the old houses for scrap copper and lead piping that he would weigh in for a few pennies and at night he would find a house that still had windows and a door and there he would sleep.People didn’t pay much attention to Rupert really, they didn’t bother him and he certainly didn’t bother them. It was a good arrangement; sometimes people swapped rumours about why he became a tramp. Nobody came nea...
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| Asda's Own brand. |
| 2007-09-06 09:14:00 |
Despite my recent beefs about Asda I found myself there again yesterday, not for the weekly shop but to browse the CD Isle, they have quite a good selection and how wrong can you get with things like pre-packed, made somewhere else type goods? In the car-park I overheard two battle worn vets of power bargain shopping talking about Asda’s own brand goods that were just as good as, if not better than the real thing.I should have known better, but I’m a bloke, I’m supposed to fall for this shit. Anyway the thought of huge savings that could count in pounds rather than pennies had me filling a basket once more. I started the ball rolling by visiting the less than hygienic café for a cold coffee. Complaining about the lack of heat in this beverage seems to draw nothing but Blanc stairs f...
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| Triumphs and disasters part 3 |
| 2007-09-05 09:23:00 |
After I left theYarmouth track in the capable hands of Rob the new Manager, things became quieter on the social side for me partly because I wasn’t in the mood for the complications of courtship, but mainly because I was so busy with work. I was to travel to Ibiza to reconnoitre a rundown outdoor go kart track that was part of a hotel complex with a view to buying and turning around the fortunes of what could have been a very good money spinner.The companies business plan was to set up five or six tracks as a group and make it a buyable commodity. We had given ourselves five years to do this, not a lot of time but it was (in theory) a workable plan. The Ibiza complex was to be our venture into the European market. Unfortunately the reason the Spanish track was in such dire straits was be...
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| Not the Trafford shopping centre. |
| 2007-09-03 05:09:00 |
One of the interesting things about running a shop in the suburbs was the wide variety of lunatics that frequented the place. The customers were wacky enough and although irritating to deal with were a necessary evil. There was also other shopkeeper's on the same block who felt the need to pop in on a regular basis and pal out with me as it were. There was Doreen who had a Flower shop and punctuated every other word with a sneeze (She was allergic to flowers) and dripped snot into roses and carnations as she lovingly fashioned floral tributes. Many a young girl presented with one of Doreen bouquets must have sniffed enthusiastically at it thinking “How sweet they smell, and so fresh too, they still have dew on them”. She was a homely looking girl but what an artist. . Next door was th...
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| Snake woman. |
| 2007-09-01 05:03:00 |
Snake woman or Barbara was one of those bohemian types who suddenly appear in your life and behave as though they have always been there. These people always seem to know you by first name despite the fact that you might never have met them before. I remember the day she first entered my shop (Visual Electronics), it was early morning, I had been to party the night before and was feeling a little delicate, which was why I was leaning on the counter and looking at my shoes for inspiration.She opened the door with a flourish, stepped into the shop and stood there like a sulking film starlet. She had raven black hair that framed a pale face and her eyes were hidden by huge sunglasses, which she slowly removed. She shook her head like a girl in a shampoo advert to allow her hair to fall into i...
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