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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 2249716 |
| Visitors Out: 2202 |
| Total Visitors Out: 5961 |
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| Chuckie Chicken |
| 2008-09-21 09:29:00 |
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes.""I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken."The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge.The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie."Marge," whispered Mildred."What?" said Marge."I think the guy next to me is a pervert.""What makes you think so?" asked Marge."He unzipped his pants...
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| Camel Questions |
| 2008-09-20 17:30:00 |
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand". "OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", "Thanks Mom" replies the son.After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking...
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| Calf Value |
| 2008-09-19 09:47:00 |
A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth."Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher."But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer."Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It is post-dated six years from now."...
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| Blonde Horses Around |
| 2008-09-18 12:00:00 |
There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was now dragging her. She finally got back on the horse with a broken ankle, bruises all over, and she was bleeding from three different spots. Finally, the horse came to a complete stop. Thank goodness that the manager of the K-mart came out and shut the machine off....
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| Bear on a Rampage |
| 2008-09-17 15:24:00 |
Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes. His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!" His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"...
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| Bear Hunt |
| 2008-09-17 15:24:00 |
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"...
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| A Koala and a Hooker |
| 2008-09-15 11:57:00 |
A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute.She wakes up shocked and sees this koala bea...
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| 20,000 Cockroaches |
| 2008-09-14 14:02:00 |
Customer: Do you have and cockroaches?Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman.Customer: I would like 20,000 of them.Clerk: What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?Customer: I moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it....
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| Jesus and the Robber |
| 2008-09-14 14:02:00 |
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk. He replied, "Who said that?!" Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius." The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"...
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| How'd you want them |
| 2008-09-13 18:57:00 |
A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, "Do you want them mounted?" Blushing, she said, "No. holding hands will be fine."...
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