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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 542242 |
| Visitors Out: 41400 |
| Total Visitors Out: 75861 |
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| Valentines Day One Liners |
| 2010-02-05 08:02:00 |
One Liners Jokes
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton.”
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, but they had an apple.
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
“You turn me on.”
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
“Stick with me and we’ll go places.”
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
“I’m stuck on you.”
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| Joke - Valentines Day Gift |
| 2010-02-04 08:46:42 |
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.
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| Funny Valentine Verses |
| 2010-02-03 08:11:00 |
Romantic and Funny
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I’d prefer you inside out.
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| Cartoon New Year Resolution |
| 2009-12-28 05:32:51 |
Husband Wife Cartoon
My new year's resolution is to stop telling you
what to do all the time...
Here, I wrote down your resolutions for you.
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| Christmas One Liners Jokes |
| 2009-12-17 11:59:00 |
funny one liners
How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
What's red and white and red, red and white, and red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail !
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A list of everything you want.
Why is Santa a good race car driver?
Because he's always in the pole position.
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| Valentines Day Joke |
| 2009-11-26 12:29:23 |
On Valentine's day Tony, a smart young man, walked into the local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes.
Tony felt flattered so he walked up to her and said in his deepest voice, 'I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $10 but on one condition.'
The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, 'What's your condition?'
Tony answered, 'Tell me your wish in just three words.'
There was a long pause, then the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to Tony along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, 'Clean My House.'
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| Halloween Funny One Liners |
| 2009-11-26 10:59:16 |
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween.
Do zombies eat popcorn with fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
Because they're so wrapped up in themselves.
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure.
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| Thanksgiving Funny One Liners |
| 2009-11-26 10:53:16 |
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream.
Mary-Jo: 'Why do you think that the Pilgrims sail from England to America?'
Joey: 'Because they missed their plane.'
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why did the man invest in feathers?
He heard the stock market was going down.
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll let you know next week!
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers.
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| Funny Santa Cartoons |
| 2009-11-25 12:34:29 |
Santa @ Christmas Tree Santa Claus and Reindeer
"Too much information" "So what did you want to talk about?"
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| Funny Christmas Quotes |
| 2009-11-25 12:30:44 |
"Christmas is the season of peace and goodwill, till you go shopping & get the bill."
"I stopped believing in Santa when I was six. My mother took me to see him in a departmental store and he asked for my autograph."
"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
"The big man is coming and already I'm shedding a tear. I'm just too santamental."
"People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?"
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