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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 21 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 1981871 |
| Visitors Out: 2551 |
| Total Visitors Out: 8782 |
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| 5 News Headlines That IT'S GRRREATT!! To Be An American |
| 2007-10-23 00:37:00 |
With American pride at a supposed low (according to recent Gallup polls), here are some recent headlines guaranteed to make you pledge allegiance. 1.) Panama Justice – Boot Camp Killers of 14 year Old Black Teen Acquitted - Yes, the punching, kicking and deprivation of oxygen of 14 year old Martin Anderson by seven men and one woman is not unusual apparently in the Florida juvenile justice system. Even with video-taped evidence a jury still found no inappropriate behavior. I'm sure these jurors were fair and unbiased here's a photo of the foreman and two jurors: 2.) Mrs. Bin Laden? - Caren Ann Burke, 49, petitioned to change her last name to bin Laden. She listed her reason as "divorce from Rory S. Burke." A few things about Caren: she enjoys long walks on the beach, killing infidels, ...
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| I WOULD RATHER GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SAND-PAPER COVERED SPOON THAN WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE OF ABC'S PRIVATE PRACTICE |
| 2007-10-08 15:16:00 |
Apparently, alot of people watch the hard-hitting medical drama Grey's Anatomy (really it's a soft-core soap opera porn for women). Recently it spun off another show (unholy abomination) known as Private Practice. Bored as usual, I decided to give this piece of monkey spunk an objective viewing. After watching it, I'm left with one feeling only...best described medically as a feverish, vommitting sensation accompanied by severe spastic colon. Don't get me wrong, Dr. Addison (Kate Walsh) is one hot piece of tail (I'd definitely let her "practice" with my "privates"), but other than her the cast is made up of wooden B-actors walking through a script not fit for a Lifetime movie of The Week. Starring alongside her "fineness", are Taye Diggs, from How Stella Got Her Groove Back.Tim Daly, oth...
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| BRITNEY SPEARS - Mom Of The Year |
| 2007-10-04 12:54:00 |
Upon hearing that Britney Spears lost her two children for non-compliance with a court ordered drug and alcohol test, a couple of things came to mind: Is she really that bad a parent by Hollywood standards, and is K-Fed really a better option? If she's really that bad, here are some Hollywood pillars of society that are much better:Joan Crawford - better known as "Mommie Dearest" - a sweet caring physically and emotionally abusive, alcoholic, nymphomaniac, bi-sexual, sweetheart. She wa allowed to adopt and ruin the lives of 5 children.Bing Crosby - A tender loving soul, who gave his son heartfelt advice like, "stay away from alcohol ("It killed your mother") and suggested he smoke pot instead." His eldest son Gary wrote a book about their relationship, depicting Bing as cold, remote, and b...
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| The Name Game |
| 2007-05-10 23:16:00 |
So what's in a name? Apparently quite alot. If your name is Paris Hilton, it means you probably won't do your 45 days in jail. Not beacause you were found innocent, not because you learnedyour lesson, but because it's really your publicist's fault.If your last name is Windsor, people will treat you as if you have some political input, or even a clue about the lifestyles of the people you "rule."If your last name is Povich, you can act like you have a responsible news program. Truth is you actually touch only 3 different topics; teen girls gone wild, paternity tests, and hidden video. Thats because they best allow you to exploit the lower income edge of society.If your last name is Couric, you accept a record-breaking amount of money to revive a dead franchise. When you don't live up to you...
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| 10 Signs The Apocalypse Is Not Upon Us |
| 2007-05-02 19:31:00 |
So last week I took a trip to a local nursing home (no matter how many showers I take, I can't seem to get the smell off of me). While speaking with a kind 94 year old lady (who thought I my name was Melvin for some reason), I noticed that all old people think the end of the world is upon us. This negative additude bothered me, so in response here are The Toxic Life's - Top 10 Reasons The Apocalypse Isn't Near. 10.)Rosie O'Donnell Announces Her Departure From The View - Hallejuah!!! Daytime television is once more free from America's over-exposed, loudmouth, bulldike. Upon her April 30th announcement that she wouldn't be returning after June, public sentiment was uncharacteristically...positive. Hopefully Barbara Walters will get it thru her skull that nobody wants to be bullied on TV, h...
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| Geraldo Versus Bill, and A Moron Named Cho |
| 2007-04-24 11:58:00 |
So whats worse, 2 scumbag spin journalists fighting over illegal immigrants on TV; or an obvoiously deranged 23 year old (who should've been in in-patient therapy) who buys 2 weapons and kills 32 people on a college campus? In Toxie's opinion they're both part of the problem.Lets start with Geraldo, (shown below at his induction into the Taliban) who is a failed tele-journalist, that looks for any oppurtunity to ham it up in front of the camera. While I do respect his early work on Willowbrook reform, since he has become the patron saint of Trash TV. Anyone who thinks I'm being too harsh just think back to Al Capone's Vaults, or what about his talk show's Satanism special? Here's a quote:In 1987, he hosted the first of a series of prime time special reports dealing with an alleged epidemic...
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| Toxic Canidates For Social, Economic, and Government Reform |
| 2007-04-16 21:32:00 |
With the 2008 election stretch under way, and racial/social tensions at an all time high (see stupid cowboy wannabe and racism salesmen below). VS:The Toxic Life has been trying to think what kind of leader could fix America right now? So in spirit of the season, here are The Toxic Life's Top 7 canidates for change.7.) Hillary Clinton - The former first lady and current senator, has a rockstar husband (who she obviously couldn't satisfy in bed), and a political-ambition complex that can't be matched. She likes socialized medicine and generally believes the American public to be composed of buffoons who need government control. But, I really like her bath cakes, they keep my skin so soft! 6.) Towelie (from South Park) - He's popular with the younger set, understands our nation's drug proble...
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| Max Wright - Father, Actor, Pervert |
| 2007-04-08 15:37:00 |
Meet Max Wright, star of award-winning movies such as All That Jazz,popular family sitcoms, such as ALF, Beloved family man,and, most importantly, crack addict with a taste for unprotected sex with homeless men that makes Bumfights look tame. As seen below, in sickening detail, our good friends at the National Enquirer (scumbag dirtrag) have pics and the whole story on Max's charitable work with the poor. Here's the basic story. Closeted Hollywood star's (refer to our March 17 "Male Queens of the Silver Screen" story for more) wife (Linda) grows tired of being a "beard" (somebody explain this concept to Liza Minelli)and kicks said deviant (Max) out to live with his gay lover (the guy who got paid for giving this story and pictures...
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| Male Queens of the Silver Screen |
| 2007-03-17 16:58:00 |
We're dedicating this post to male hollywood stars who refuse to come out of the closet. These individuals think they've fooled the general public, and even in some cases have sham relationships (beards). Let's start with mister "ain't it cool" himself John Travolta.For years, gay rumors have swirled about Travolta. But the actor has repeatedly denied them.The talk was squelched when he married actress Kelly Preston (Fag Hag) in 1991 and they had a son, Jett, two years later. Preston, 38, gave birth to their second child, daughter Ella, in 2000. There have been several unsubstantiated reports in news rags (Globe, Enquirer,Sun), but in this case a picture is worth a million words.To the left is John checking the toncils of an unidentified male friend as they get ready to board John's priva...
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| Toxic Movie Reviews |
| 2007-03-14 17:52:00 |
Okay, it's review time and this week we have 4 standing films. Let's start with a romantic, comedy The Holiday. This movie has so many problems, I don't even know where to begin. Perhaps what bothered me the most was lack of chemistry. The 4 main players (Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, and Jack Black) are all fine actors in their own regard, I'll even go as far as to say Winslet is among the top 10 actresses of today. But, they seem ill-suited lovers in this film. I don't know if I blame the script or them personally for that. The secondary players in this film are also high caliber, so at this point I'm leaning towards the script. Note to producers: spend more time on plot development, and less on cameos. The constant inter-weaving of commercials in Cameron Diaz's life is also poin...
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