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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 4 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 11487 |
| Visitors Out: 583 |
| Total Visitors Out: 761 |
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| A Genie Story |
| 2007-06-16 02:55:00 |
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the Wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize, and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?""Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied."Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank y...
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| DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!! |
| 2007-06-14 21:06:00 |
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,"I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.""Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't cont...
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| A Blonde Joke |
| 2007-06-13 23:15:00 |
To prepare for his big date the young man went on top of the roof of his apartment building in order to get a little color for himself.Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the buff. Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof and sunburned his Johnson.Being very determined the young man decided not to miss his date, because she was a hot blonde. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.During the movie, however the young man's sunburn started acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused. A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the kitchen, and poured a glass of milk....
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| Feminine or Masculine? |
| 2007-06-13 22:16:00 |
I don't speak Spanish, but this one I get. . . A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender("la computadora"), because:1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;2. The nat...
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| Kung Mayaman Ka |
| 2007-05-11 05:33:00 |
1.) Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy" Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang" 2.) Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress" Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo" 3.) Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac" Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan" 4.) Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric" Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad" 5.) Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine" Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom" 6.) Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic" Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba" 7.) Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "kayumanggi" P...
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| Salawikain |
| 2007-05-11 05:28:00 |
Ang taong nagigipit...sa bombay kumakapit.Birds of the same feather,make a good feather duster.Pag may umuusok...may nag-iihaw.Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin...may utangNo guts,no glory...no ID,no entryKapag may sinuksok at walang madukot,may nandukotAng buhay ay parang bato,it's hardWalang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na taoKapag may tiyaga,may nilaga.Kapag may taga, may tahiHuli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rinTo err is human,to errs is humans.Ang naglalakad ng matulin,late na sa appointmentMatalino man ang matsing,matsing pa rinBetter late than laterAanhin ang palasyo kong ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahaykubo,sa paligid puno ng lingaAng sakit ng kalingkingan,kailangan ng alaxan....
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| Mr. Bean strikes again! |
| 2007-05-11 02:01:00 |
ON BRAIN TUMOR:Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor. Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you? Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?Doctor: Then why are you so happy? Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:Teacher: What is 5 plus 4? Mr. Bean: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!AT AN ATM MACHINE:Friend: What are you looking at? Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Mr. Bean: four as...
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| By all means, MARRY! |
| 2007-05-11 01:47:00 |
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.-David BissonetteWhen a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.-Sacha GuitryAfter marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.-Hemant JoshiBy all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -SocratesWoman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.-DumasThe great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?-Sigmund FreudI had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.-Anonymous"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take tim...
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