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| Emails From Jesus |
| It's me, Jesus. Satan and I are blogging. People email us their questions, we answer them. There's some pictures and stuff too. It's pretty straightforward. Stop by and have a beer with us sometime. Our doors are always open! |
| Language: English |
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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 153 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 364654 |
| Visitors Out: 2689 |
| Total Visitors Out: 4678 |
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| Instant MSG |
| 2007-12-11 03:32:05 |
Dear Jesus: I want to ask you question, do you understand English right!, but do you understand Chinese and other languages?...
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| Australian nosebleed |
| 2007-12-10 23:01:16 |
Ok so check it. Got some strange stuff going on these days, not sure if its you or Stan, or my inner retard messing with me. We need to talk...
Janine...
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| I will name him George |
| 2007-12-09 12:57:12 |
My cousin had her car broken into and we think it is Karma. We thought maybe she should become friends with Buddah, but there are lots of wierdos on myspace calling themselves Buddah. Do you think Karma will get them too?
Andrea...
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| For a good time... |
| 2007-12-08 13:15:28 |
I don't know if it's you who's been messing with me lately or your buddy JC but you both need to lay off a bit! A girl can only take so much...
Oh, and Ray and I go waaaay back! Small world...
That is all.
Janine ...
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| Angel eyes |
| 2007-12-07 02:59:09 |
Yikes. I just realized what it is about you (other than the really great carpentry) that really gets me about you: your eyes. Swear to God (hi, Jesus' Dad!) they follow me around the room! Can you really see what I'm doing right now???
WavyDavy...
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| Fish fry |
| 2007-12-06 13:21:12 |
I just ‘planted’ my son’s gerbil in a beautiful ceremony. Hopefully the dog won’t dig him up. My question is what happens to all those goldfish that get flushed down the toilet. Is it true that they are collected in baskets and fed to crowds in heaven?
Daddy...
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| Of mice and women |
| 2007-12-05 22:01:48 |
Dear Jesus,
I know it's not proper to talk about your mama, but a guy I've been dating suddenly became upset with me over a discussion that your mom may have not been a virgin. I said that it didn't matter whether or not it was the Holy Spirit or Joseph's semen that did the deed. You can still be Jesus, the Son of God, regardless, since your dad is all powerful and stuff. And last I checked, your dad sometimes works through ordinary circumstances that we humans describe as miracles. Well, the boyfriend was appalled, saying you couldn't be the Son of God unless your mom got her freak on with the Holy Ghost and promptly broke up with me.
Sorry for the trouble, JC. I meant no harm or disrespect. Say hi to folks from me!
-Nina
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| A bustle in your hedgefund |
| 2007-12-04 20:25:06 |
Jesus i really need some help here ive tried praying to you and your dad.... but nothing... i really just need some project entropia dollars. So if you could do that for me... I Would pledge my enternal life to the jesus!
Andrew...
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| Freeze in Hell! |
| 2007-12-03 12:38:23 |
Hey, Stan. It's cold here in Beantown, and the cost of oil is waay up. Could you share some of that heat with us?
WavyDavy...
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| Hallmark holidays |
| 2007-12-02 00:30:49 |
hey happy birthday (i hate being late)
xx
punxx...
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| Love what you do |
| 2007-12-01 00:20:08 |
hello do u have fun on these e-mails
tahyla ...
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| Eddie Murphy sings again |
| 2007-11-28 00:58:36 |
Jesus, I don't even know Stan and he forced me to drink all this booze over the holiday. Now I have a knot on my head and bruises I certainly cannot explain. what's a girl to do? Thanks for the Divine Wisdom.
Love Ya!
Emily...
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| Religion by proxy |
| 2007-11-26 11:12:51 |
A guy was recently interviewed on the Family Guy and said you would surely cancel that show if you ever returned to earth. Is that true? I would be sad if you did.
Andrea ...
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| Where are they now? |
| 2007-11-25 20:11:04 |
Dear J,
I was just wondering - Is Jerry Falwell up there with you right now?
Peace. Out. - Karen...
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| Come on down |
| 2007-11-23 09:46:34 |
Hey Stan,
The holidays make me want to kill myself. So I guess I might see you soon!
*xoxo*
Alicia...
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| Fear of God |
| 2007-11-22 01:00:22 |
i love you jesus and god
Ashlyn ...
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| Measuring up |
| 2007-11-20 14:31:19 |
Dear Stan,
Are you single? I have this thing for Demons...
Patti...
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| Ask me anything? |
| 2007-11-19 14:50:42 |
hello lord, what is your sexual fetish?
Naiad...
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| Are you kind? |
| 2007-11-16 02:55:57 |
ha ha... i got a question for jesus... wanna smoke some bongs?
Chris...
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| Born free |
| 2007-10-17 12:38:18 |
satan,
i hope you are not getting yourself into trouble....
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| Only human |
| 2007-10-16 08:10:20 |
Satan, how are you so witty? Did god take away all your other good qualities when you went to hell and throw you a bone with that one?
Andrea...
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| Boundaries |
| 2007-10-14 22:38:22 |
Is it wrong that I find you sexy??
Naiad...
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| Dream kitchen |
| 2007-10-13 19:06:00 |
dearest higher power....I took your name in vane a lot today (I am still not clear on what the H stands for) while renovating our kitchen. my apologies
Andrea...
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| Wide open spaces |
| 2007-10-13 00:40:09 |
you need to stop sending your minions to have me aroused all the time Satan. It's a bit much.
Naiad ...
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| Get outta Dodge |
| 2007-10-11 13:29:24 |
hello mr. satan.
so i was wondering, is heaven such a bad place?? why did you did you leave.. is God not good company??
martha grace...
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| A bouquet of tinkleflowers |
| 2007-09-28 04:12:45 |
Dear Stan,
Hi. First time reader, long time emailer.
I just have one question: Are lipstick lesbians as awesome as I think they are?
You rock!
J.D.
My Blog, Joe's Movie Corner, is awesomenessisity!!...
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| Fishes of fury |
| 2007-09-27 03:45:46 |
dear stan,
if there were to be a fight between chuck norris and jhc, who would win...or is there something i'm missing? have you ever noticed you never see the two of them at the same time? check the pictures of jesus...that's a pretty strong beard for a pacifist.
awaiting my roundhouse kick to the head, -dr. forkbeard...
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| The bodyguard |
| 2007-09-26 04:38:39 |
Stan,
God will not be mocked and you will meet him face to face one day – hope you have your story straight.
Open your eyes and use your brain. There is a judgment coming and you are on the wrong side. I pray that God will interfere in your life and knock some sense into you.
If He could do it to me, then He can surely do it for you.
Praise the Lord!
Fanie...
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| Made for t.v. |
| 2007-09-25 08:35:55 |
Hey JC,
I gotta wonder how you feel about this fall's line up. There are shows about -gasp- evolution (see "Cavemen") and one called "Dirty Sexy Money" which I am pretty sure Satan is behind (in more ways than one). What is your take?"
Andrea...
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| The anointed one |
| 2007-09-22 11:23:07 |
Jesus
Are drugs really bad? Have you ever tried any?
Cody...
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| Hlep meh plx |
| 2007-09-21 23:54:09 |
HI THERE HOW R U DEAR LORD I'M HAVING A BAD DAY CAN YOU HLEP ME
JEZEBELL...
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| Tons of fun |
| 2007-09-18 16:08:55 |
Stan,
I notice you pick on Rosie O'Donnell quite a bit. I never pegged you as right-wing. What gives?
Respectfully,
Hugh...
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| Lost in love |
| 2007-09-18 05:50:18 |
Jesus, there's two guys that want to take me out. I like them both alot and don't want to ruin our friendship. Please HELP!
Jess...
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| Puff puff give |
| 2007-09-15 10:18:10 |
Dear Jesus,
Do you think it is wrong to smoke marijuana?
Amen
Smokey McPot ...
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