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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 215 |
| Visitors Out: 2439 |
| Total Visitors Out: 2439 |
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| Little Johnny’s mother is taking a bath… |
| 2008-04-26 14:50:00 |
Little Johnny’s mother is taking a bath, having recently been discharged from hospital where she had all of her pubic hair removed. Johnny comes into the bathroom as she’s drying off, and asks her what happened to the hair. “I’ve lost my sponge,” she says, and sends Johnny to play. A few moments later, Johnny [...]...
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| 88 Minutes - Movie to see this weekend (April 18, 2008) |
| 2008-04-18 20:11:44 |
Dr. Jack Gramm is a college professor who moonlights as a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI. When Gramm receives a death threat claiming he has only 88 minutes to live, he must use all his skills and training to narrow down the possible suspects, who include a disgruntled student, a jilted former lover, and a [...]...
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| The Amish go to town |
| 2008-04-17 19:14:45 |
An Amish boy and his father rode into town to visit a new shopping mall. All that they saw had them reeling in amazement, but the one thing that really caught their eye was a pair of shiny ‘walls’ that could slide open and close effortlessly shut again. The boy looked at his father and [...]...
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| The History Of Man |
| 2008-04-16 15:18:41 |
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?”
Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook [...]...
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| Street Kings - Movie to see this weekend (April 11, 2008) |
| 2008-04-11 18:21:57 |
Tom Ludlow, a veteran LAPD Vice Detective, sets out on a quest to discover the killers of his former partner, Detective Terrance Washington. Captain Wander’s, Ludlow’s supervisor, duties include keeping him within the confines of the law–and out of the clutches of Internal Affairs Captain Biggs. Ludlow teams up with a young Robbery Homicide Detective [...]...
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| My Greatest Sin |
| 2008-04-11 18:10:39 |
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, “My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into [...]...
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| Old Magazine Covers |
| 2008-04-09 16:32:05 |
Time magazine Cover on Hitler’s death
Bill Gates for the first time on Time Magazine
Showing the “Radio Hat”, a two tube battery operated radio....
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| Opposites |
| 2008-04-09 16:23:55 |
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
“Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “what is the opposite of joy?”
“Sadness,” said the student.
“And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
“Elation,” she said.
“And you sir,” he [...]...
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| Can I help you? |
| 2008-04-08 23:26:32 |
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge [...]...
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| Kansas stuns Memphis in OT for title |
| 2008-04-08 14:26:39 |
“The Jayhawks (37-3) gave the school its third NCAA tournament title and first since 1988. It’s also a first for coach Bill Self, 45, whose players denied Memphis its first championship.”...
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| Ponderisms |
| 2008-04-07 17:49:30 |
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called [...]...
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| Gator Blood May Be New Source of Antibiotics |
| 2008-04-07 17:44:07 |
“Call it a case of gator aid. New research suggests that alligator blood could serve as the basis for new antibiotics targeting infections caused by ulcers, burns and even drug-resistant “superbugs.”
Read full story...
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| Leatherheads - Movie to see this weekend (April 4, 2008) |
| 2008-04-04 19:10:00 |
In 1925, Dodge Connolly is a charming, brash football hero who is determined to guide his team from bar brawls to packed stadiums. But after the players lose their sponsor and the entire league faces certain collapse, Dodge convinces a college football star to join his ragtag ranks. The captain hopes his latest move will [...]...
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| Blowing Chunks - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-04-04 18:32:15 |
A man goes into a bar and proceeds to get completely plastered. If there was a falling-down drunk, he’d be a glued-to-the-floor drunk. The barkeep pours him into a cab to take him home.
Next evening, the man returns still looking pale and hungover. “Hey, bartender, you asshole! Why’d you let me get so drunk last [...]...
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| Leaving a cafe with his morning cup… - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-04-03 20:19:28 |
Leaving a cafe with his morning cup of coffee, a man notices an unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. Moving up the street slowly is a black hearse, followed closely behind by a second black hearse. Behind this, with head bowed, walks a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind [...]...
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| 21 - Movie to see this weekend (March 28, 2008) |
| 2008-03-28 19:10:37 |
“21″ is the fact-based story about six MIT students who were trained to become experts in card counting and subsequently took Vegas casinos for millions in winnings.
Trailer...
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| Eat your words - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-28 15:47:16 |
A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says the man again. “A quickie.” Outraged she slaps him across the face and storms [...]...
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| A drunk goes to the doctor complaining… |
| 2008-03-20 15:04:06 |
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. “I feel tired all the time,” he slurs. “My head hurts, I’ve got a sore arse, and I’m not sleeping. What is it, Doc?” Frowning, the doctor examines him before standing back. “I can’t find anything wrong,” he says. “It must be the drinking.” [...]...
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| A married couple receive a bank statement… - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-19 15:04:03 |
A married couple receive a bank statement with a huge overdraft. They also receive a final demand for the gas bill. So they agree to save money. That evening, they are watching TV when the man gets up and tells his wife that he’s off down the pub. Outraged, the wife informs him that he [...]...
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| Smelling And Hearing - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-18 18:33:23 |
An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, “Doc, it’s terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it’s odorless and silent, otherwise I’d be mortified. For example, I’ve passed gas ten times just since we’ve been talking, but it’s odorless and silent so you can’t tell.” The doctor gives her some green pills [...]...
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| Accused Of Old Age - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-17 18:33:25 |
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking… surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story.
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy [...]...
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| March 16 - On this day |
| 2008-03-16 18:17:35 |
1190 - Crusaders start to massacre the Jews of York; many Jews commit suicide rather than submit to baptism.
1792 - King Gustav III of Sweden is shot; he dies on March 29.
1916 - The 7th and 10th US cavalry regiments under John J. Pershing cross the US-Mexico border to join the hunt of Pancho Villa.
1958 [...]...
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| March 15 - On this day |
| 2008-03-15 22:07:51 |
1820 - Maine becomes the 23rd U.S. state.
1906 - Rolls-Royce Limited is incorporated.
1926 - The dictator Theodoros Pangalos is elected President of Greece without opposition.
1970 - The Expo ‘70 world’s fair opens in Osaka, Japan.
1985 - The first Internet domain name is registered (symbolics.com)....
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| Sick Note - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-15 21:55:10 |
A guy goes to the doctor, and says, “Doc, I feel like I’ve got something lodged in my asshole.” The quack has a peek and says, “I can definitely see something.” So he gets his tweezers and pulls out a $50 note. Then another £50 pounds then 20 quid, then a tenner and so on [...]...
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| March 14 - On this day |
| 2008-03-14 10:55:12 |
1489 - The Queen of Cyprus, Catherine Cornaro, sells her kingdom to Venice.
1869 - Defeat of Titokowaru.
1926 - A train in Costa Rica falls into the Río Virilla, killing 248 and injuring 93.
1964 - A jury in Dallas, Texas find Jack Ruby guilty of killing Lee Harvey Oswald, assassin of John F. Kennedy.
1980 - In [...]...
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| Out On A Limb - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-14 09:48:58 |
In a hospital for victims of land mines, a man wakes from surgery. Man: “Doc, something’s wrong… I can’t feel my legs!” Doctor: “yes, we’ve had to amputate both your arms.”...
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| The Gas Men - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-12 09:29:53 |
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked [...]...
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| The Barber - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-11 09:29:14 |
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got [...]...
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| Blonde Alligator - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-10 09:28:44 |
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I [...]...
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| Three Girls Go Camping - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-09 09:27:31 |
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit [...]...
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| Potential & Reality - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-08 08:26:40 |
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your [...]...
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| The Bank Job - Movie to see this weekend (March 7, 2008) |
| 2008-03-07 15:27:07 |
A car dealer with a dodgy past and new family, Terry has always avoided major-league scams. But when Martine, a beautiful model from his old neighborhood, offers him a lead on a foolproof bank hit on London’s Baker Street, Terry recognizes the opportunity of a lifetime. Martine targets a roomful of safe deposit boxes worth [...]...
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| Yankees -vs- Red Sox - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-07 08:26:10 |
A teacher asks her students if they’re Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
“Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?”
“The Red Sox.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I’m a Red Sox fan too.”
“That’s not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, [...]...
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| Oh, Those Darn Lawyers - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-05 08:23:29 |
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
”Help me find my ball. Look [...]...
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| That’s A Buncha Bull - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-04 08:22:56 |
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser’s balls. So he signed [...]...
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| Stewed Tomatoes - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-03 08:22:33 |
A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he’s worry about getting seasick.
The doctor suggests, ”Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.”
The guy replies, ”Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?”
The doctor says, ”No, but it’ll look real pretty in the water.”...
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| Knock-knock Jokes - Joke of the Day |
| 2008-03-02 08:21:55 |
Who’s there?
Gene.
Gene who?
Gene-e-alogy.
Who’s there?
Kathy.
Kathy who?
Kathy you again?
Who’s there?
Juliet.
Juliet who?
Juliet me in?...
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| Semi-Pro - Movie to see this weekend (February 29, 2008) |
| 2008-02-29 16:27:04 |
Jackie Moon is one-hit wonder who used the profits from the success of his chart-topping song “Love Me Sexy” to achieve his dream of owning a basketball team. But Moon’s franchise, the Flint Michigan Tropics, is the worst team in the league and in danger of folding when the ABA announces its plans to merge [...]...
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