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| DYLIT - Jokes funny pictures videos Comics |
| Dylit - Do you like it. This blog has lot of jokes. This jokes collection includes, Bar jokes, Brain tests, Computer jokes, Funny pictures, Funny question and answer, Funny SMS, romance jokes or love jokes, misc jokes, Funny stories, Sports jokes, teen jokes, True funny stories, Little johnny jokes, funny pictures, funny videos and funny comics! |
| Language: English |
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| Total Unique Visitors: 2231265 |
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| Valentines Day Special! My One And Only |
| 2010-02-14 11:15:00 |
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'...
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| Valentines Day Special! Q and A |
| 2010-02-14 11:11:00 |
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?Answer: "I'm sweet on you!"What did one piece of string say to the other? Answer: "Be my valentwine!Answer 2: "I'm so intwined by you."What did the letter say to the stamp?Answer: You send me.What did the stamp say to the envelope?Answer: I'm stuck on you.What happened when the two tennis players met?Answer: It was lob at first sight!Answer 2: Nothing - the game ended Love - All!What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?Answer: Hogs and kisses!What did one pickle say to the other? Answer: "You mean a great dill to me."What is a ram's favorite song?Answer: I only have eyes for ewe, DearWhat did one light bult say to the other? Answer: "You light up my life!"Answer 2: "I love you a whole watt!"What did the vacuum cleaner say to the ...
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| Third Grade or Delhi University? |
| 2010-01-17 08:43:00 |
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?” Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade! .My sister is inthe third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in thethird-grade too!” Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to theprincipal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he wouldgive the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he wasto go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreedto take the test. Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?” Boy.: “9″. Principal: “What is 6 x 6?...
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| Conscience |
| 2010-01-01 05:02:00 |
The moral of this story may be that it is better to heed the warnings of the "still small voice" before it is driven to the use of the telephone.A New York lawyer, gazing idly out of his window, saw a sight in an office across the street that made him rub his eyes and look again. Yes, there was no doubt about it. The pretty stenographer was sitting upon the gentleman's lap. The lawyer noticed the name that was lettered on the window and then searched in the telephone book. Still keeping his eye upon the scene across the street, he called the gentleman up. In a few moments he saw him start violently and take down the receiver."Yes," said the lawyer through the telephone, "I should think you would start."The victim whisked his arm from its former position and began to stammer something."Yes,...
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| Good Manners |
| 2009-12-19 09:15:00 |
A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael said: Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite.What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman said: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny said I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinne...
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| Brunette, Red head and a Blonde |
| 2009-12-18 08:25:00 |
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'...
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| The Good Old Days Before Computers |
| 2009-08-22 09:56:00 |
REMEMBER WHEN...A Computer Was Something On TVFrom A Science Fiction ShowA Window Was Something You Hated To Clean....And RAM Was The Cousin Of A Goat...Meg Was The Name Of My GirlfriendAnd Gig Was Your Middle Finger UprightNow They All Mean Different ThingsAnd That Really Mega BytesAn Application Was For EmploymentA Program Was A TV ShowA Cursor Used ProfanityA Keyboard Was A PianoMemory Was Something That You Lost With AgeA CD Was A Bank AccountAnd If You Had A 3 1/2" FloppyYou Hoped Nobody Found OutCompress Was Something You Did To The GarbageNot Something You Did To A FileAnd If You Unzipped Anything In PublicYou'd Be In Jail For A WhileLog On Was Adding Wood To The FireHard Drive Was A Long Trip On The RoadA Mouse Pad Was Where A Mouse LivedAnd A Backup Happened To Your CommodeCut You...
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| Funny computer quotes |
| 2009-08-22 09:47:00 |
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."-- Ken Olson, president, chairman/founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our sal...
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| Bigger in Texas |
| 2009-08-17 11:57:00 |
A blind man is travelling to Texas. He feels the seats of the train and says to the man next to him he says “These seats sure are big” to which the man replies “Everything is bigger in texas”. He then checks into is hotel and goes to the bar. He feels the beer glass and says to the bartender “The glasses sure are big” to which the bartender says “Everything is bigger in Texas”. The blind man the asks to go to the lavatory.The bartender gave him directions. On the way he takes a wrong turn, slips and falls into the swimming pool. Scared to death he shouts “Dont flush!!!! Dont flush!!!!”……………….....
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| The Loving Husband |
| 2009-08-17 11:55:00 |
Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.Everyone else in the room stops to listen.MAN: “Hello”?WOMAN: “Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?”MAN: “Yes”WOMAN: “I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $ 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”MAN: “Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much.”WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really liked.”MAN: “How much?”WOMAN: ” $ 70,000″MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing … The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $ 950,000″MAN: ...
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