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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 55100 |
| Visitors Out: 1012 |
| Total Visitors Out: 3264 |
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| Armour & Bankers |
| 2010-01-05 06:59:00 |
“Welcome, readers, I am Willie, the Scottish Sage. I live on the banks of Loch Ness with my beautiful, young, wife Sadie and attempt to solve all of your problems, whether they be personal, familial, sexual or whatever, by tapping into my vast knowledge of ancient Scottish wisdom and lore. Feel free to consult me at willie@scriptschool.co.uk Welcome to Willie’s Wisdom.”
CHESS
Dear Willie,
I am worried about my uncle Fred as he has been spotted in a gay bar by my friend Gay Bob. My Aunt Gwen would be devastated if she found out what he was up to, but I don’t know how to approach him about his sexuality. You may think this is none of my business but if Fred is gay it would destroy our family. If he is gay could you advise me on how to tell him not to be, or to be more discreet about his filthy habits?
Shelley, Swansea
Dear Shelley,
You seem to be assuming that Gwen doesn’t know about this side of Fred’s life. In fact, Fred confessed to his bisexual nature while the...
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| Flirting & Etiquette |
| 2009-12-29 09:46:00 |
“Welcome, readers, I am Willie, the Scottish Sage. I live on the banks of Loch Ness with my beautiful, young, wife Sadie and attempt to solve all of your problems, whether they be personal, familial, sexual or whatever, by tapping into my vast knowledge of ancient Scottish wisdom and lore. Feel free to consult me at willie@scriptschool.co.uk Welcome to Willie’s Wisdom.”
FLIRTING
Dear Willie,
My boyfriend pays far too much attention to other girls when we go to parties together. He says he’s just flirting and it’s harmless, but I feel slighted and ignored. How can I get him to realise that if he truly loved me he should give me the attention I deserve?
Hannah, New Mexico
Dear Hannah,
There is only one way to solve this problem, but it is surefire and I can recommend it without fear of contradiction. The answer lies in magnets, and specifically electro-magnets as you want your boyfriend to come to your side when you want him and not be welded to you. Place a powerful ...
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| NOSES & ALIENS |
| 2009-12-21 03:47:00 |
“I am Willie, the Scottish Sage. I live on the banks of Loch Ness with my beautiful young wife Sadie and attempt to solve all of your problems, whether they be personal, familial, sexual or whatever, by tapping into my vast knowledge of ancient Scottish wisdom and lore. Feel free to consult me at willie@scriptschool.co.uk Welcome to Willie’s Wisdom.”
CONGRESS
Dear Willie,
My husband has recently read the Kama Sutra and thinks we should indulge in some of the more esoteric sexual positions it recommends. I was okay with the Congress of the Bull and the Congress of the Goat but the Congress of the Snake gives me sore shoulders. Any suggestions?
Carol, Cleveland
Dear Carol,
This is because snakes don’t have shoulders. You would have noticed this if you’d noted that you rarely see a snake wearing a shirt. Luckily Vatsayana, who wrote the oriental filth, had no knowledge of Australia or we would have been cursed with the Congress of the Kangaroo, which is taking things ...
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| THE NASTY & POETRY |
| 2009-12-17 05:25:00 |
It occurs to me that as my earlier posts go to the bottom of the page, new readers will be somewhat confused as to what Willie’s Wisdom is all about. So as not to make them feel like strangers, I will now be supplying this short introductory paragraph to all my posts-
“I am Willie, the Scottish Sage. I live on the banks of Loch Ness with my beautiful young wife Sadie and attempt to solve all of your problems, whether they be personal, familial, sexual or whatever, by tapping into my vast knowledge of ancient Scottish wisdom and lore. Feel free to consult me at willie@scriptschool.co.uk Welcome to Willie’s Wisdom.”
THE NASTY
Dear Willie,
About four months ago, I let my husband talk me into doing “the Nasty". Now he pesters me all the time to do it again. How often is normal for a married couple to do "the nasty'?
Bernadette, Tuskaloosa.
Dear Bernadette,
It is NEVER normal for a married couple to do "the nasty". See if you can talk him into sexual intercourse i...
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| Roads & Monsters |
| 2009-12-15 16:26:00 |
Well, my Sadie has shown her sense of humour this post, and no doubt, but I forgive her for she's a lovely lass. Willie, the Scottish Sage, here again to help you with all your problems.
RHINO
Dear Willie,
I have a problem. The latch on the back door is broken and the cat is getting out and annoying the rhino. Please fix it.
Sadie, Loch Ness
Dear Sadie,
In just a wee minute, my lass, just as soon as I’ve solved these few problems.
Willie
OTHER WOMEN
Dear Willie,
I have incontrovertible proof that my husband has been seeing other women (see pic).
Some days he sees several women and I think there are quite a few women at his work that he sees regularly. I love him and I thought he loved me. How can I stop him seeing other women?
Violet, Penn.
Dear Violet,
Your husband seems to be a vile philanderer and as you know seeing invariably leads to looking and God only knows where it may end. Your challenge, it seems to me, is to make yourself so attractive that your...
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| Santa & Goldfish |
| 2009-12-15 12:05:00 |
Well, I've been neglecting my chores and Sadie has gone unkissed, but I have been determined to catch up with the backlog of problems which have been gathering in my Inbox. The life of a Scottish Sage, solving the problems of the world, is not an easy one and I accept my fate with quiet dignity. That and a cold supper from my lovely wife. Read on and benefit from my immense wisdom, dear friends ...
BEST LOVERS
Dear Willie,
My friends and I were discussing which nationality of men make the best lovers. Rosetta said her Luigi was the tops, but Gitte claimed her man, Christian was amazing. With this level of national pride we were obviously never going to get a consensus. The only way to get an unbiased opinion was going to be ask somebody who has no national loyalties, but such a woman doesn’t exist. It was my friend, Rosemary, who suggested that I consult you, as she has been a great fan of yours and respects your immense wisdom. So, Willie, which men make the best lovers?
...
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| SEX FREQUENCY & WIFE SWAPPING |
| 2009-12-14 14:18:00 |
Oh we’re fair motoring with the advice now, my wee chums and I may soon have to post this blog thing to you daily just to keep up with an inbox that is bulging more than my sporran. Couple of things to mention; your requests for advice should be sent to willie@scriptschool.co.uk and I cannot give personal replies. Oh, and there are still people badgering me for personal information. I must admit it tickles my ego a wee bit but I have no interest in being a personality or celebrity, just a humble Scottish Sage. However, I’ve no objection to posting a wee photograph from my collection now and again, so here’s a picture of my wife, Sadie.
SEX FREQUENCY
Dear Willie,
How often should a married couple (17 years) make love? Berenice and I normally manage once a week, but she insist her friends are doing it much more often, but I find this hard to believe. Jocelyn is buck-toothed and Eva lacks girly bumps, so I don’t see their husbands being too keen on their conjugals. Any...
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| Panties & Sexuality |
| 2009-12-14 05:33:00 |
Hello, yet again, my problem pals, Willie here with his mountains of wisdom to lighten your load. I can proudly declare that there is no problem I cannot resolve. Take my challenge, send your problems to willie@scriptschool.co.uk and I will resolve them in the twinkling of an eye with my exclusive access to centuries of Scottish lore.
PANTIES
Dear Willie,
I recently met a chap and subsequently, as it was my birthday, he bought me a gift. I was shocked to find that the present was a pair of edible panties. What does this mean?
Shania, Az
Dear Shania,
It seems perfectly obvious to me. This chap obviously works as a salesman for an edible underwear company and has given you these pants as an inducement to buy his products. Do not make any hasty decisions, but demand to see his entire range. I must admit that I am not very knowledgeable about edible clothing, so perhaps you could answer a question for me. Do you eat them before wearing them or wear them after eating them?
Willie ...
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| LIARS & SURGEONS |
| 2009-12-13 13:40:00 |
Welcome again, my dear troubled friends. Once again I, Willie, the Scottish Sage, am here to help you out with my incredible wisdom. There is no facet of the human condition that I cannot give you sound advice on and that’s a promise. Send your problems to me at willie@scriptschool.co.uk. And great news for all you troubled folk, Willie’s Wisdom will now be appearing on an internet near you TWICE a week. So, abandon hope, despair! Incidentally, my interview last week has fair got you interested in my personal life. So, as a wee treat, I’m letting you have a look at where I live.
If you look carefully in the upstairs window,
you'll just manage to see the wife, Sadie, having her annual enema.
But on with the show.
SAGE SCHOOL
Dear Willie,
I wish to be a sage, the same as what you are yourself. I will bill myself as Sven the Swedish Sage, even though I am actually Norwegian. I promise not to go into competition with you because I am a much younger man an...
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| Lesbians & Bladders |
| 2009-12-11 06:30:00 |
Well, here I am again, dear friends, dealing with all of the problems that ail you with my all-encompassing wisdom. For those who have not visited before, I am Willie, the Scottish Sage, and what I don’t know wouldn’t fill a midget’s matchbox. But on with today’s session, read and learn!
LESBIAN
Dear Willie,
I am 21 years old and after several failed relationships with men have decided that I will become a lesbian. However, I am unsure how to proceed with this course of action. Does one have to sit an exam or anything? Please advise.
Karen, Winnipeg
Dear Karen,
It’s not widely known but lesbianism was actually invented by a man, the legendary Nathaniel Lesbian, of Tobruk fame. It was basically to give his wife, Olivia, something to do with her friends in the afternoons while their menfolk were at work. Nat never envisaged that it would catch on like wildfire and become the major female participation sport of the 20th Century. In his memoirs he remarks that he wished...
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