 |
 |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 378 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 6038011 |
| Visitors Out: 1330 |
| Total Visitors Out: 1330 |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| How to Make a Horse Work |
| 2008-04-28 14:43:10 |
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move.Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move.Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood.Then the farm...
|
| |
|
| Two's Company, Three's a Crowd |
| 2008-04-22 12:18:01 |
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.""No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.Moments later a knock was hea...
|
| |
|
| Fourteen Canaries |
| 2008-04-15 14:48:25 |
Three young women are at a cocktail party.The conversation turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.Young woman number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much mo...
|
| |
|
| Gift for the Teacher |
| 2008-04-15 14:47:02 |
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet it's some flowers!""That's right!" shouted the little boy.Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is! It's a box of candy!""That's right!" shouted the little girl.The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw...
|
| |
|
| Wake Up! |
| 2008-04-08 13:15:48 |
Simon's cat seems to become the most famous pet on the internet. Haven't you watched this video yet? You'll split your sides with laughter!5 Funny Video Ads
...
|
| |
|
| Small Business |
| 2008-04-07 11:56:58 |
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself."I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me.""Excuse me?" the accountant said."I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.""I se...
|
| |
|
| Hardly Worth Going Home |
| 2008-04-07 11:56:31 |
Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow."How old was your husband?" he asked."He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder than I am.""Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?"Bill Gates in PurgatoryA Little Practice in the MorgueSwallowed Razor Blade
...
|
| |
|
| Great Sex Position |
| 2008-04-07 11:54:10 |
Q: What do you call a 6.9? A: A great sex position fucked up by a period!Blind DateUgly WomanGay Revenge
...
|
| |
|
| Refried Beans on Saturday Night |
| 2008-04-07 11:34:42 |
Why do gays eat refried beans on Saturday night?So they can take a bubble bath Sunday morning.Goldfish FuneralIntelligent RadioNew Prefix
...
|
| |
|
| Pick Up Line in a Gay Bar |
| 2008-04-07 11:33:37 |
Q: What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: Can I push your stool in?Death During SexAdventurous DiningThe Police Didn't Agree
...
|
| |
|
| An Elderly Man Goes into a Brothel |
| 2008-03-12 14:42:32 |
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is."I'm 90 years old," he says."90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?""Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"Hot Blonde at the Wal-MartMy Dad Has 2...Sony 42” Plasma TV — learn how to get one.
...
|
| |
|
| Sex on a Rocking Chair |
| 2008-03-12 14:40:13 |
There's an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home.The old man says to the woman, "For five dollars, I'll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I'll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I'll take you to my room, light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of passion you'll never forget."The woman considers it a moment and then, after fishing through her purse, produces a twenty dollar bill. The man says, "So, yo...
|
| |
|
| The Purpose of a Bellybutton |
| 2008-03-12 14:38:36 |
What's the purpose of a bellybutton?To put your gum in on the way down.The Last Glass of WhiskeyAbsolute Sense of SmellFree MacBook Air for U.S., U.K. & Canadian Residents
...
|
| |
|
| Puzzling Pants |
| 2008-03-10 13:42:25 |
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her."Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?""Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."Dam Fish100% Free Mobile...
|
| |
|
| Can't Stop It |
| 2008-03-03 13:05:57 |
An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong."I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied."Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop fucking his wife.""So stop," the bartender said."I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The prick didn't sign his name!"Unwary WishOnly One WishSuperstar's Energy Drink
...
|
| |
|
| Sex & Money |
| 2008-03-03 13:05:24 |
Sex like money in the bank, because when you withdraw you lose any interest.Beer Troubleshooting 1Beer Troubleshooting 2Verizon Voyager
...
|
| |
|
| Raping a Nun |
| 2008-03-03 13:04:45 |
A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her.After the rapist is done, he says, "Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?""I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice....unless you're tired", she responded.The Supernatural?Three DoorsNintendo Wii. Free!
...
|
| |
|
| Two Hookers on a Street Corner |
| 2008-03-02 11:48:52 |
Two hookers were on a street corner.They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."All Expense Paid Trip to American Idol 7!CockroachWhat's In a Name?
...
|
| |
|
| Lack of a Sex Life |
| 2008-03-02 11:47:22 |
Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life.One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe.The other says, "I just wish it were dark."BrazillionaireGod is Watching the ApplesEnjoy Eating Healthy
...
|
| |
|
| Married Life |
| 2008-03-02 11:46:33 |
Two bikers were talking at a bar."How's married life?" asks the first."It's fine," says the second."How's the sex?" asks the first."Fine," says the second, "At least I don't have to wait in line!"Lesson to Be Learned from Typing the Wrong Email AddressNot a Complete IdiotNew Laptops
...
|
| |
|
| Homework |
| 2008-02-27 12:16:29 |
One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom asked him how his day went.He said, "We're learning about sexual education."She smiled, and said, "At least he's learning something usefull." Billy went up to his room. A little later, Billy's mom went up to his room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and sees him jerking off. She says, "Billy, when you're done with your homework, supper's on the table."5 Funny Video AdsRecognitionVerizon VoyagerNintendo Wii
...
|
| |
|
| Profit |
| 2008-02-27 12:15:42 |
Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young woman at the other end of the bar. "Bartender," he says, "give that lady whatever she likes, and put it on my tab."When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A moment later he's at her side. "That was very kind of you," she says. "Won't you sit down?"After a few minutes of small talk, she says, "Let me be honest with you. You're a very nice man, but I don't think you realize that I'm a professional...
|
| |
|
| Working Like a Dog |
| 2008-02-26 13:39:44 |
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way."And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home."Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."How to Become a MillionaireDating DictionarySony StyleReally Bad DayMacBook Air
...
|
| |
|
| Discovery |
| 2008-02-22 12:55:28 |
Teacher: "Fred can you find me Australia on the map please?"Pupil: "There it is."Teacher: "Now, Louise, who discovered Australia?"Pupil: "Fred did!"Potential and RealityThe Only OneStylish, Hot and PinkA Little Fabulousness to Your Shoe Collection
...
|
| |
|
| Home From School |
| 2008-02-22 12:54:58 |
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"Evils of LiquorMasturbationStylish, Hot and PurpleWho Needs $6,500?
...
|
| |
|
| H2O |
| 2008-02-22 12:53:56 |
Teacher: "What is the formula for water?"George: "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."Teacher: "Is that the formula I gave you?"George: "Sure, you said H to O!"In Love with TeacherDefinitely or IndefinitelyWhat Would You Do to Get the Thinnest Laptop Ever?Nintendo Wii
...
|
| |
|
| Chinese Man and His Three Daughters |
| 2008-02-21 12:56:18 |
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter.He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughte...
|
| |
|
| Can't Stop Having Sex |
| 2008-02-20 13:15:16 |
This guy goes into a doctors and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sex!""Well how often do you have it?" the doctor asks. "Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day", he answers back."That's not so much", says the doctor."Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with my secretary, TWICE a day," replies the man."Well that is probably a bit excessive," says the doctor. "Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with a prostitute, TWICE a da...
|
| |
|
| Clam Digger |
| 2008-02-20 13:14:49 |
A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being.Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries.She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"He says, "Love? What's that?"She says, "I'll show you."She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows hi...
|
| |
|
| Chocolates for Valentine's Day |
| 2008-02-18 12:40:44 |
Four-year-old Mitch loved candy almost as much as his mom Ann did. He and Daddy had given her a beautiful heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. A few days later Mitch was eyeing it, wishing to have a piece of it. As he reached out to touch one of the big pieces, Ann said to him, "If you touch it, then you have to eat it. Do you understand?""Oh, yes," he said, nodding his head. Suddenly his little hand patted the tops of all the pieces of candy. "Now I can eat them all."Diet QuipsTh...
|
| |
|
| A Valentine for Bin Laden |
| 2008-02-18 12:40:38 |
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day."Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," David says."Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock."Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American...
|
| |
|
| Rabbi Goes to Hawaii |
| 2008-02-18 12:32:15 |
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you."The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your respect? I am the moral leader of our c...
|
| |
|
| Sex Is Like Money |
| 2008-02-18 12:31:44 |
Why is sex like money in the bank?Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.Death During SexWhat a Wife Says and What She MeansThe Thinnest Laptop Ever
...
|
| |
|
| Blonde Got Game |
| 2008-02-16 12:19:49 |
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don`t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Oka...
|
| |
|
| Confused Bank Robber |
| 2008-02-16 12:18:02 |
Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together. The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.The robbery begins. The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," he said.He goes in the bank while the ...
|
| |
|
| Experimental Psychology |
| 2008-02-12 12:58:33 |
A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?"She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"Everyone in the pub started staring at them. Naturally, the guy was terribly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table totally red faced.After ...
|
| |
|
| One Thousand Valentine Cards |
| 2008-02-12 12:52:55 |
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'""But why?" asks the man."I'm a divorce lawyer," the man re...
|
| |
|
| The Meaning of Dreams |
| 2008-02-12 12:51:56 |
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight", he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".Confusing QuestionIdiots Please Stand Up
...
|
| |
|
| Valentine's Day for a Woman |
| 2008-02-12 12:51:04 |
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.Diet QuotesPacks of Condoms
...
|
| |
|
| Baby's Crib |
| 2008-02-11 13:17:09 |
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband."A penny for your thoughts," she said."It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for ...
|
| |
|
| |
 |
|
| |
| |
|
 |
