 |
 |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 165 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 458444 |
| Visitors Out: 165 |
| Total Visitors Out: 165 |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| This Week in Baseball: In Which We Shoot Fish in a Barrel |
| 2008-05-07 07:03:00 |
Ah, the fine art of the “non-apology apology.” It’s a careful tight rope balancing act of flatly denying any rumors involving you while simultaneously addressing them compassionately, thereby reducing the perception that you’re hiding guiltily from the public eye. Behold, Rickey’s in depth analysis of Roger Clemens’ recent statement made to the Houston Chronicle:“I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media.”Well no, not particularly, but Rickey’s been running low on blogging material lately, so sure Raj—let ‘er rip. What say you of the recent allegations of pederasty swirling around you?“Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal lif...
|
| |
|
| Your Weekly Linkage |
| 2008-05-05 04:57:00 |
Rickey's recovering from an engagement party that involved copious drinking, a fringe environmentalist theater troupe, and the sudden public declaration that Aristotle was gay. If that makes very little sense to you, believe us, it doesn't make an awful lot of sense to Rickey either. We'll defer to Ms. Henderson to compile the photos of the event and try to explain things as best as she can (since half of you apparently don't believe she exists). But if Rickey may make a suggestion: if you've never stood in a grassy field wearing formal attire and drinking bourbon on the rocks while a wandering minstrel environmentalist in a bear suit dances around and bangs a drum, definitely make arrangements to do so at your earliest possible convenience. It's kind of like starring in one's very own Fel...
|
| |
|
| Introducing Rickey’s Better Half |
| 2008-05-01 15:07:00 |
Amidst all the talk of baseball, videogames, gym membership, and other subjects of manly miscellany, some of you might have been wondering, “where’s Rickey’s soft side?” The answer of course is that Rickey doesn’t have one—at least not one that we’re aware of. But if we were to have one, it would most likely be embodied in the form of one Ms. Henderson, that shadowy & mysterious female we occasionally make reference to who has the unique pleasure of being engaged to Rickey. And she’s been relatively silent… until now, that is.Ms. Henderson, inexplicably giddy with the prospect of marrying someone whose hobbies include growing beards and impersonating Rickey Henderson, was talking about wedding planning so much that her friends and family urged her to start a blog rath...
|
| |
|
| Rickey's Obligatory GTA IV Review (Because you needed us to tell you to buy the damn thing) |
| 2008-04-30 07:15:00 |
As a wee lad, Rickey’s access to videogames was severely limited (his parents flat out banned ‘em from the house). Whether or not this was a wise decision we’ll leave for you to decide, but suffice to say that Rickey isn’t one of those individuals who knows the Contra cheat code by heart or how to instantly warp to the final level in Super Mario Brothers 3. So when Rickey finally purchased his first gaming system (the ill fated and woefully underappreciated Atari Jaguar) brand new horizons of listlessness opened up in Rickey’s life. Flash forward to today: a golden age of video gaming. An age when mastering Guitar Hero is as challenging and fun as its real life counterpart. An age when Bill Murray is recording new lines for an upcoming Ghostbusters videogame written by Dan Akroyd...
|
| |
|
| Your Weekly Linkage! |
| 2008-04-24 15:01:00 |
*You know, call us nuts, but that looks an awful lot like one of the kids we featured in our Finger Jousting expose last year…A little while back, we mentioned that Rickey had taken time out from his busy day to enter a little contest over at Mark Rayner’s website. Now, we’ll freely admit that Rickey’s submission isn’t nearly as awe inspiring as some of the other entries in that contest, but if the Clinton presidential campaign has taught us anything, it’s that the best way to react to insurmountable challenges is by fabricating entirely new realities and outright falsehoods. And that’s where you come into the picture. Here’s what you can do: proceed to the post by clicking here and vote for Rickey’s submission (it's the "E-Secretary" one) in the panel on the lower right ...
|
| |
|
| Rickey's Guide To Gym Membership |
| 2008-04-22 15:09:00 |
As we’ve mentioned before, Rickey has been on a fitness kick recently, and has gleamed many choice tidbits of information from his time spent toiling on various devices of physical punishment. And while we recognize that there’s a dearth of easily accessible “how to” guides on fitness out there, we can guarantee that none of them were written by a guy who responded to the inability to change a flat tire on their car by consuming a large amount of Lucid absinthe and proceeding to spend the evening completely disabling his network router setup (Rickey was only trying to open his NAT settings goddamnit). Call us nuts, but we figure that experiences like that qualify us to write a fair and balanced set of guidelines on the masturbatory realm of self-imp...
|
| |
|
| This Week In Irrelevant Sporting News... |
| 2008-04-14 07:05:00 |
In case you missed it, a Red Sox construction worker had the rather inspired idea of burying a David Ortiz jersey underneath the new Yankee stadium. And being your typical Red Sox fan possessing no idea how jinxes actually work, he buried it under the visitor’s clubhouse rather than the Yankee clubhouse. Smart! By the way, if any of you RwR readers hear news reports about someone claiming to have buried other Sox jerseys underneath various load-bearing pillars of the new Yankee Stadium, well, Rickey don't know nothing about it. Not a thing. No sir, Rickey was out of town when those calls were made. Rickey has alibis.Anyhow, in a completely surprising move, the normally cool tempered & rational Hank Steinbrenner hastily ordered the shirt excavated at ...
|
| |
|
| Feats of the Wit! |
| 2008-04-11 07:23:00 |
Every once and a while, Rickey comes across an online contest that tickles his fancy and kindles his inner competitive fire. We feel that the one we’re about to delve into absolutely qualifies as such. Because nothing makes for good comedy quite like yesterday’s dashed visions of tomorrow, Author Mark Rayner over The Squib (your one stop shop for all things monkey-related) is running a contest revolving around vintage ads of fictional futures. The premise behind the competition is that you must comb the internet for vintage ads and then insert a product in them from a fictional future. Kind of nifty, no? Behold, the rules!1) Create your masterpiece2) Post it to your blog (Wondering why you had to read about this today? Well this is why)3) Link to Mark's post4) Wait for the aplomb and/o...
|
| |
|
| Consoling The Inconsolable |
| 2008-04-10 07:06:00 |
Despite last night's Mets victory thanks to a hellacious number of Phillies errors and the mystical powers of Mike Pelfrey's pacifier mouth guard, Rickey has noticed an inordinate amount of squawking reverberating from the Mets fanbase as of late. From whence does this fickle dissatisfaction hail? Rickey's assuming that the recent whining sprouts from the fact that many Mets fans out there might be relatively new to the idea of rooting for this storied baseball franchise. So we'd like to take a moment to address you casual newcomers directly:Hi! Everyone here? Great, allow Rickey to proceed. So you've decided to become a Mets fan, congratulations! Rooting for the Metropolitans comes with a unique set of challenges and rewards that greatly distinguishes it from rooting for... let's say the ...
|
| |
|
| Rickey Recommends |
| 2008-04-09 07:07:00 |
This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and pieces of advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way shape or form a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy our latest installment ofRICKEY RECOMMENDSKeeping meat in the freezer. Rather handy if we may say so ourselves. Rickey makes a habit of stocking his freezer with an assortment of meats and poultry at all times, just in case those Dust Bowl days return.The musical stylings of Bruce Springsteen covering Pete Seeger on “We Shall Overcome: The Pete Seeger Sessions.” Rickey’s not a huge fan of The Boss, but this is one...
|
| |
|
| Rickey Can Put This On His Resume, Yes? |
| 2008-04-08 07:07:00 |
*If a nauseatingly copious amount of self pimpage isn’t quite your bag, then we recommend not reading past this sentence.Everyone still here? Good, we knew that flimsy disclaimer wouldn’t deter you. Ok then, here we go. Many moons ago, Rickey completed a brief questionnaire and sent it to one of Ms. Henderson’s favorite sites, the popular USA Today culture blog, Pop Candy. Rickey did this on a whim, and with little expectation that his submission would actually be selected by the folks over there, because, well, they’re kind of a big deal. But RwR was in its infancy, struggling for a foothold on the steep slopes of the blogosphere, and Rickey was striving for fame & glory at the time, no matter how unrealistic and unattainable they might’ve been. No word yet from the Cat Fanc...
|
| |
|
| Ladies & Gentlemen, Your Mensch Of The Week |
| 2008-04-07 07:41:00 |
Every now and then, someone from Rickey’s walks of life does something so inspiring and flat out nifty that we feel downright compelled to include them in our periodically published “Mensch of the Week” column. Today is one such day and your aforementioned mensch is a coworker of Rickey’s named Fletcher. What did this fellow do to earn such a highly prestigious (read: inconsequential) honor? Well, friend, we’ll tell you: he will be singing the National Anthem at Shea Stadium with his barbershop quartet sometime this season. Let’s repeat that: a buddy of Rickey’s named Fletch (best name ever) is in a barbershop quartet (best form of music group ever) and will be singing the National Anthem at a Mets (best baseball team ever) home game in 2008. The guy auditioned at Shea last w...
|
| |
|
| Of Hamstrings & Marmosets |
| 2008-04-03 07:31:00 |
And after allowing four hits (two of which were home runs) Pedro Martinez left his first 2008 game with a hamstring injury Tuesday night. Evidently he heard a “pop” when delivering a pitch and is now expected to be on the DL for four to six weeks. Granted, Pedro wasn't much of a contributing factor last year either but this certainly can’t be very good at all, can it now? So, in a desperate search for a modicum of levity, Rickey has combed the internet in search of a few tidbits that will hopefully brighten his gloomy disposition and that of you dreary Mets fans. It’s a fun little column we like to call:…But on the Bright Side!A Federal Judge has ruled that beer makers are entitled to market their products to college students. Many thanks to the good folks at ATK for making this ...
|
| |
|
| Marvel as Rickey Tells You How To Blog! |
| 2008-04-01 07:18:00 |
The blogosphere is an entire world unto itself, with its own set of unspoken rules and regulations. A while back, Rickey weighed in on the matter with his own set of guidelines for blogging. But recently, exciting new developments have come to light, and several addendums to the list have therefore become necessary. And because Rickey likes to think of himself as sort of a cool uncle for all you aspiring bloggers out there (kind of like Tom Hanks on “Family Ties,” sans the drinking problem) Rickey has decided to post a few additions to the list. Newcomers, break these rules at your own risk. Behold, dear reader, Rickey’s brand spanking new:COMMANDMENTS OF BLOGGING1) Don’t blog about not blogging. If you’re not going to post today, don’t make a le...
|
| |
|
| Your Monday Morning Kickoff Post: In Which Rickey Phishes For Inspiration |
| 2008-03-31 07:27:00 |
Other than occasionally wiring money to aide individuals identifying themselves as the orphaned airs of cocoa barons in the Ivory Coast, Rickey typically pays very little attention to the assortment of spam emails that he receives. Nonetheless, when one as curious as the one we’re about to divulge pops up in Rickey’s inbox, strict attention is required of Rickey. So behold, the most quizzical email Rickey has ever received:"Hohe hoholulu,Little warbitten city of patras and from patras genuinely thought he had done so. That's what ... I was glad when you went abroad to germany pays for it with a bloody coxcomb. But here is however, acquiesced sullenly when his friend told room she just folded up on the floor. She said all his attention. Miss grosvenor was to mr. Fortescue the pierhead,w...
|
| |
|
| Meme Fever: Catch It! |
| 2008-03-25 07:22:00 |
Rickey was tagged by Mr. Furious (happy fucking Easter to you too buddy) to participate in the following little meme in which Rickey is required to truthfully answer four questions about himself. Rickey’s sentiments on the matter are best summed up by fellow blogger Smitty, who insightfully commented upon being tagged for this meme that “Blogging is sometimes like unprotected sex in this particular light.” And indeed it is. But on the bright side, Rickey is now knocked up and pregnant with blogging material this morning. So behold, your daily fuckwittery in the form of something called the “4x4 Meme”:4 jobs Rickey has had: wreck diver, wombat juggler, longshoreman, and wallet inspector. Oh wait, we have to answer these truthfully? Damnit, ok then: snack bar order taking guy at po...
|
| |
|
| ASK RICKEY! |
| 2008-03-24 07:27:00 |
Rickey received the following email a few days back and figured it gave him a reasonably good excuse to start up an advice column, which, in a stroke of unbridled genius, we’ve decided to call “Ask Rickey.” which we hope kicks off a glorious new era in reader participation here at RwR. Here’s the inaugural post:Dear Rickey,I have built quite a sizable iTunes library of music that now exceeds the capacity of the iPod itself. Here's my conundrum - how should one decide or prioritize the music to load? I'm frozen with indecision so I earnestly hope you can post your sage advice.-AugustoWell, we’re not sure what level of sageness you’re expecting from a guy whose computer expertise consists of a rudimentary knowledge of GW-BASIC and a skillful hand at “snake” and “gorillas,...
|
| |
|
| Rickey's 2008 Baseball Preview: The New York Mets |
| 2008-03-20 06:56:00 |
Ah spring, when every young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of stolen bases, shutouts, and the suicide squeeze. Since we’re somewhat of a sports-related blog at heart, Rickey figured it was high time that he cranked out a write up of his baseball team of favor: the New York Mets. Now we’re sure that Metphistopheles, Metstradamus, MetsBlog, MetsGeek, Metscentric, MetsGrrl, MetsMerized, Metsquire, Metsgasm, and Metsplosion have all weighed in with lengthy in depth previews of the upcoming Mets season by now, but Rickey would like to kick things off on a different note by posing the following question... Which is a worse omen for the 2008 Mets season: the potential Sports Ill...
|
| |
|
| On Nothingness |
| 2008-03-19 07:00:00 |
Amidst all the hubbub and rigmarole of his day to day life, Rickey had completely forgotten that he had a blog entrusted to his care to maintain. And because we’ve developed a begrudging respect for the scores of pederasts, moonbats, and transients that comprise our loyal readership, we’ve decided that now is the time to lay our cards on the table and fess up to the truth. The truth is that Rickey is suffering from creative bankruptcy as of late. How did Rickey’s unfathomably deep well of inspiration run dry? Well, allow Rickey to elaborate upon the matter.You see, recently, Rickey joined a gym and is now actively trying to get back in shape. After a week of membership with the NYSC, we noticed that a curious side effect took place. After strapping himself into various ominous lookin...
|
| |
|
| In Which Fame Weighs Heavily Upon Rickey |
| 2008-03-12 07:53:00 |
Well, we suppose that this was bound to happen sooner or later. Sooner or later, some misbegotten madman would emerge from the woodwork and follow Rickey around like he was Phish or the Grateful Dead or possibly even REO Speedwagon. Rickey has received his fair share of random emails in recent days, consisting of belligerent messages from Vince Vaughn idolizers talking about “keeping up the intensity” and “crushing smokeshow sloots,” a flurry of messages concerning internet threats of a school shooting at his alma mater, and to cap it off, a torrent of fantasy baseball emails (which we’ll be discussing in depth tomorrow as Rickey analyzes his fledgling team, “The Menschwarmers”). But this email takes the cake as the most random one of the week. So heads up nonexistent RwR leg...
|
| |
|
| On Frontiersmen & Lavatories |
| 2008-03-11 12:45:00 |
Ever see that episode of “Davy Crockett” where Davy and his sidekick get ambushed by a gang of marauding injuns and proceed to scare them off by running around, making noises and creating the illusion that they’re a venerable army of 50 rather than just two frontiersmen? And the injuns totally buy it? Well that’s essentially what Rickey is reminded of when he hears reports about the Clinton campaign floating the ridiculous notion of a Clinton/Obama ticket. (In this insightful analogy, Davy Crocket is Hillary Clinton, the gullible injuns are the media, and the American public is a gang of beavers banging their heads on a log while watching the whole damn thing transpire). And that concludes Rickey’s in depth political commentary for the day.Speaking of all things Hillary-related, ...
|
| |
|
| Hello, 12 Years of Republican Governors! |
| 2008-03-10 14:07:00 |
Wait, didn't "The Wire" conclude last night? Are we certain this is actually happening? Apparently so, according to the NY Times, famed crime buster Tommy Carcetti ahem, we mean Eliot Spitzer has been nabbed in a federal prostitution investigation. Rickey's seen his fair share of hypocrisy in his life, but this is pretty freaking epic. But on the plus side, if Spitzer steps down or is removed from office, Hillary Clinton does lose a superdelegate.... So there's that....
|
| |
|
| Rickey's Monday Mail In |
| 2008-03-10 07:09:00 |
Rickey’s reeling from the nefarious daylight saving time shift and having spent all of Sunday trudging around potential wedding venues, so we’ll keep this Monday kickoff post short, sweet, and blissfully free of intelligent thought. A friend alerted Rickey to presence of the following site, Stuff White People Like, which has caught Rickey’s ever watchful eye. We’d preface the site with some sort of witty intro, but the site name pretty much says it all. It’s essentially stomach punch central for a guy like Rickey. Below are a few items that the site examines that directly apply to Rickey and caused him to say, “yep, Rickey’s just a sad white dude”:#5 Farmer’s Markets#8 Barack Obama#10 Wes Anderson Movies#13 Tea#25 David Sedaris#38 Arrested Development#40 Apple Products#42...
|
| |
|
| New Music Tuesday |
| 2008-03-04 08:08:00 |
Rickey has long subscribed to the fundamental belief that nothing is as intensely personal as one’s taste in music. Moreover, in the realm of blogging, disclosing one’s musical preferences ranks somewhere in between publishing one’s Social Security number and posting pictures of one’s genitals for the world to see. Is Rickey shy about discussing his auditory predilections? Not particularly, in no small part because Rickey considers his musical taste to be fantastically well cultivated and deep (feel free to disagree at the risk of having your tongue plucked out and buried at low tide).So, taking a cue from fellow blogger George, Rickey has opted to post a playlist of our choicest tunes for your cultural enlightenment. This is a predominantly indie m...
|
| |
|
| Rickey's Stock Market Tips |
| 2008-03-03 06:31:00 |
Hey there Wall Street savvy folks, are you currently reeling from stock market woes? Worried that your investment portfolio is far too lean to weather today’s shaky financial climate? Well then fret not dear reader, because Rickey has all your problems solved. Below are a few sage pieces of advice that Rickey has deemed invaluable to your economic well being. Ignore these pearls of wisdom at your own damned risk.Befriend A Mentally Disturbed Mathematical Genius. Although he lies awake at night writhing from insomnia and the mental anguish of incessant equations and unsolved problems bequeathed by long-dead, equally tortured mathematicians, this poor soul can be your gateway to untold riches. Stop by his dilapidated hideou...
|
| |
|
| Damn You Bill Withers |
| 2008-02-29 13:18:00 |
Last night Rickey decided that there was a shockingly inadequate amount of funk in his music collection and Rickey attempted to remedy this situation by downloading a whole boatload of Bill Withers songs (legally, of course). Rickey then proceeded to burn himself a CD of the aforementioned funk and introduce it into his beloved Saab in hopes of experiencing a truly funky commute to work. We’re pleased to report that the trip to work was an overwhelmingly funky one, consisting of smooth R&B Bill Withers classics such as “Ain’t No Sunshine,” and “Use Me.” In other words, things we’re definitely looking up for Rickey.Then, around midday, Rickey noticed his car alarm inexplicably wailing in the office parking lot—something that has never happened before to Rickey’s Saab....
|
| |
|
| Ladies & Gentlemen, Your 2008 Shea Stadium Promotional Games |
| 2008-02-27 06:42:00 |
Rickey was elated to see that his 2008 Mets Ticket Pack arrived in the mail while he was in Florida this past weekend. We use the term “his” rather loosely, because the tickets were in fact a Christmas gift for Papa Henderson (but Rickey is giving serious consideration to being a schmuck about it and just keeping ‘em for himself). And Rickey was pleased to notice that several of the games Rickey’s pop will be attending are promotional nights at Shea Stadium! So let’s take a look at some of the exciting promotional games the Mets are running this season, shall we? Because as silly (and downright fictional) as some of these promotions are, rest assured they can never be as atrocious as the train wreck that was the...
|
| |
|
| Rickey Ruminates |
| 2008-02-26 13:22:00 |
In our newest thrilling column, Rickey is provided with the exciting opportunity to make brash & seemingly untenable statements in bullet point format. It’s a little column we like to call RICKEY RUMINATES, and is essentially a bastardized intellectual stepchild of RICKEY RECOMMENDS. Instead of passing on esoteric recommendations that .015% of our readership will adopt, we’ve decided to pass along ponderous pearls of wisdom that .015% of our readership will heed. Everyone up to speed? Dandy then, here we go:RICKEY RUMINATES…that it is acceptable to say something that is wrong as long as the reason is right. Why else go to all the trouble of being a rational animal?…that club sandwiches are obscenely overrated. Pickles, lettuce, tomato, bacon… who craves these things? Just gi...
|
| |
|
| Fun With Google |
| 2008-02-21 05:35:00 |
Being ridiculously full of himself, Rickey is always interested in the manner that lost souls roaming the internet find their way to this site like moths drawn to flame. Who is Rickey to be so fraught with hubristic curiousity, you might ask? Well no one in particular, just an anonymous internet jackass whose site happens to pop up as the third result when someone Googles the name Rickey Henderson. So we’ve got that going for us. So here, in no particular order, are a few keyword search site visits to RwR that caught Rickey's ever watchful eye:Buffalo Chicken Tenders (We'll share a little secret with you: this is actually how 90% of our visitors discover this site. If we were smart, we’d do a cross promotion with Maalox.)I am a pilgrim in an unholy lan...
|
| |
|
| Today, In Lieu of Sentient Thought… |
| 2008-02-20 06:27:00 |
Ever needed a compelling reason never to start a blog? Something to show friends as if to suggest: “seriously, don’t start a blog—you’ll be doing shit like this within a month” ? Well then friends, Rickey has the perfect meme for you. Unlike the previous one we participated in, this one is purely random, and therefore doesn’t revolve around Rickey talking about himself. And that’s a low down dirty shame if you ask us. So thanks to Mike, Rickey has been tagged for the following meme and is now required to begrudgingly:1. Grab the nearest book (Reading? You fool! Rickey don't read.)2. Open to page 123. (What? And you think Rickey can count?)3. Go down to the 5th sentence.4. Type in the following 3 sentences.5. Tag five people. (No.)So away we go! The book Rickey reached for is ...
|
| |
|
| RwR Caption Contest |
| 2008-02-19 15:08:00 |
Rickey’s too gosh darned tired to post anything lengthy today. So we’re passing the comedy torch off to you folks in our latest Contest">caption contest installment—this is your big chance to be all humorous and whatnot. This time around, we bring you an oldie but a goodie:Now that, friends, is an uncomfortable display of man-love. So arise, like minded political wonks, and post your witty captions for this picture in the comments section. Rickey will proclaim a victor in a few days.[posted at Humor-Blogs]...
|
| |
|
| Your Friday Linkage |
| 2008-02-15 09:08:00 |
Happy Friday folks. Rickey’s taking a poll: how many LOST viewers do we have who read this blog? Rickey’s debating starting up a weekly column on LOST but would prefer not to alienate his readers with long speculative missives that quickly devolve into "…wait, Hurley’s wearing a mauve shirt with a pineapple symbol on the back…. That means something! Shit, I gotta sit down and reanalyze everything now…" So let us know if there’s any ground support for that sort of thing by voting in the poll below and we’ll get right on it.Opinion Polls & Market ResearchHark, baseball fans! Spring is officially upon us! Mets pitchers and catchers reported to Port St. Lucie yesterday. Redemption Season ‘08 starts now folks.The astronauts aboard the International Space Station apparently...
|
| |
|
| |
 |
|
| |
| |
|
 |
