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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 1008490 |
| Visitors Out: 5515 |
| Total Visitors Out: 8014 |
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| The Blog Posts That Never Are |
| 2008-07-06 07:57:16 |
It is amazing the number of times I have sat down to blog something -- usually something that begins with comments about how peaceful and calm it is around here but before I can even start typing that all changes. This morning it was Jimmy's new pants. He prefers his pants to be 4 inches too big around the waste so that he can sag them. I hate it because it is not who he is. So yesterday I found a great deal on new dress pants. The ones he has been wearing every week are corduroys and look ridiculous during the hot summer. Well today he made a scene about the whole thing that was over the top and I did not respond well. He exaggerated their tightness, making comments that did not make sense. "I can't sit down in these pants" (said while seated). "I ...
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| another day, another night |
| 2008-07-05 21:31:19 |
Day has gone by. Not much accomplished, not much conflict. A good day I guess.Saved a lot of money buying clearance items today. That was a highlight.Off to bed.... Gnight ; -)...
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| Last NIght's Fireworks |
| 2008-07-05 11:57:32 |
I took five pictures and combined them. My camera really cool. You aim it towards the sky and push the button it just stays there until the fireworks explode and then as it recognizes light it takes the picture.Thus, cool pictures.Sadie says you can tell this isn't real. I told her that it wasn't supposed to look real. It's a compilation. Oh well....
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| Kind of Dumb Day -- July 4, 2008 |
| 2008-07-05 11:13:50 |
Sometimes days are just dumb. They don't go as planned, they are unorganized, things get chaotic, you don't make good parenting decisions, feelings get hurt, tempers flare, things are not fun.Or maybe I shouldn't say that you have those days, but I can guarantee you that we do. And yesterday was one of them. Disjointed.Went to see John and took the camera, but we split up so he could do some birthday shopping and I never got a picture of him. I did get these at the park. Those of us not at the store went to three parks and got gas and finally just came on home. When we arrived at home we went to Kari and MIkes. It was typical of our lives -- some of us were crabby, Bart didn't feel well, kids argued and fought. Near accidents occurred. One of those nights where we're all glad we w...
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| Enjoying the Quiet that Will Not Exist for Long |
| 2008-07-04 08:35:48 |
In about 40 minutes it will be time for everyone to be awakened and we will participate in a mad rush to get everyone ready and out the door to go visit John. It is about a 2 hour trip and we will have to take two vehicles as 7 of the kids are going along.John is at a crucial point right now or we might not be making the trip. With gas prices the way they are it will be a considerable expense. But he has been at the group home for a little over two weeks and still doesn't have a job. He does not do well with unstructured time and needs to be kept busy. He is bored and listless and has already mentioned once that he might just walk out the day he turns 18.So we'll go and see if our visit can help improve his attitude and turn this around a little bit. When we return it's supper at Mik...
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| Sadie's Mom's Got it Goin On |
| 2008-07-03 21:26:30 |
Even though supper with friends was a little turbulent (Dominyk and Tony in rare form) we have had a mellow night again. Highlights of the meal included Wilson orchestrating a "fat jiggling contest" between Bart and I by trying to jiggle the fat under our biceps. I was jigglier apparently. And then somehow started singling, "Sadie's Mom's Got it Goin' On." I hate the original of that song, but the thought of Sadie's friends who are boys heading into 7th grade thinking I'm hot made me crack up. But Dominyk said it wasn't even funny. "Haven't you heard of COPYRIGHT mom. That would be a violation. Plagerism!"What a kid.After supper, we left everyone home but Jimmy and went to the laundromat. We did 8 loads in the front loading $3.50 each double load wa...
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| Wilson |
| 2008-07-03 13:22:19 |
A self portrait...and a picture that Wilson says should be titled, "My mom has a very small head."I just heard him in his 49 pound body walking around with his legs in a sleeping bag. Apparently he was pretending to be a tough cowboy, as he stood in front of Bart and announced, "This town is not big enough for the two of us."...
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| Jimmy-isms |
| 2008-07-03 12:32:16 |
Jimmy sometimes gets confused. And sometimes when he does it's very funny.He was just filling out a job application. He asks me, "What is Minimum wage?"I replied, $6.15.He says, "Is that per hour or per year?"I say, "You want to earn six dollars and fifteen sense a year?"He says, "Oh"---------------------------------------And, in true John Travolta style, I heard him singing, "ew, ew, ew, Standing in line, Standing in Line, ew, ew, ew ew Standing in Liiiiiiiiiiine"----------------------------------------And I just heard him ask Bart, "Are you Crying Out Loud?"...
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| Another Day Begins at the Fletchers |
| 2008-07-03 09:41:15 |
Bart and I were both up by 6:40. I went to the Y and then stopped so he could load my pedometer. Pretty big news about that here.Everyone but Sadie is still in bed, but moving around. I've had 30 ounces of water already and am at my desk sending instant messages to my husband and working on my email.Salinda has left with her friend's family for the weekend. We gave her permission because the family was going to Sioux Falls anyway and is willing to take her to the orthodontist, saving us lots of gas money. And I don't have to worry about what she is doing for 5 days. We'll enjoy the break from that part of our stress and she'll enjoy the break from us.Tomorrow we are going to go see John and tomorrow night we are going over to Mike and Kari's for supper. Gonna be a fun day. Except t...
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| Items of note |
| 2008-07-02 22:22:40 |
No caffeine, no pop, day 2.And Bart was leading our entire district in number of steps tonight. Way to go honey!...
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| Some things just aren't right |
| 2008-07-02 22:13:16 |
Wilson is 9. He lost a tooth tonight. He has lost a lot of teeth in his life, but the tooth fairy has never come. Tonight the tooth fairy will come.And we bought him his first halloween costume at age 8.He is the most adorable child in the world. And it almost makes me cry to think that he never got simple things like tooth fairy visits or Halloween costumes.Some things just aren't right....
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| Very Mellow Evening again |
| 2008-07-02 21:57:55 |
Wow, it has been another mellow night. I walked again tonight and blogged about the benefits of exercise. But the biggest thing, and I've mentioned it before, is that in this one area, I control my own success.Everywhere else in my life, things can mess with my plan for success. In my parenting, my kids have that dang thing God gave them called free will. And parenting 9 teenagers at once, regardless of how good they are, is quite a task. And in my jobs, I have so little control over outcomes that it is pathetic. When you work with people, you can't make anyone do anything. Oftentimes all you can do is watch and sigh.But when it comes to diet and exercise, I'm in charge. I decide how and when and how long I work out. I decide what, where, and how much I eat. And when I am success...
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| Trying A New Approach |
| 2008-07-02 16:35:58 |
Salinda got a phone call that made her cry. She asked for a ride to her where her best friend was shopping. I asked her what was wrong, she said nothing. I got into the van.I decided to try something new. I simply said, in a very low voice, "It bothers me a little bit that you don't feel like you can talk to me about what is going on. I am not going to pressure you and I realize that it is my fault."She said, "This isn't your fault."I said, "No, what I meant to say is that I realize that the fact you don't feel like you can talk to me is probably my fault."She was silent.I said, "I am not sure you understand the reason that I want to know. I want to know because I care about you and it hurts me to see you sad. You have been doing very well this last week. I just hope that whatever ...
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| The Wilson Bean Protest |
| 2008-07-02 14:02:46 |
Wilson does not like beans. Of any kind. He is adamant. So tonight's menu was not his preference. And he made it very clear.By giving me dirty looks throughout the meal, and for hours afterwards.A silent protest.Made very clear. For hours.It was actually quite adorable. He's over it now....
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| Memories |
| 2008-07-02 12:39:55 |
I just got off the phone with Kari who told me about what happened with her son Ben this morning. It took me back in time to some pretty tough memories.We had to make the decision a couple times in the last several years to not allow children to return to our home. With John, it was because of his aggression and violent behavior. He was dangerous to himself and us and the other kids were traumatized. I wasn't afraid of getting hurt myself -- I figured a hospital stay at that time might have been relaxing -- but I was worried about what might happen if one of the kids got in the way when he was trying to hurt me. One night, I can remember, he chucked a hammer at me and there were three other little kids in the room and I got really stressed out about...
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| GRRRRR |
| 2008-07-02 11:20:39 |
So, now the parts for our washer are backordered. That means that they won't be shipped until Monday because of the 4th. I believe that will take us into week 4 of laundromat living.What more is there to say besides GRRRR.......
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| Feeling Mighty Good |
| 2008-07-02 09:07:56 |
After completing my workouts in the morning I feel great. Such a sense of accomplishment to know that the hardest part of my day is over before my shower every day. Such a feeling of empowerment. You'll have to click here to find out who came with me to work out.This morning I have staff meeting and then have to give Salinda's friend a ride home. She has been very nice to me the past 24 hours -- and has been getting along very well with everyone. She seems more settled. It's kind of nice for now. I'll take what I can get.Yesterday I was able to focus and get several things on my to-do list done. It felt good. Hopefully there is another day like that ahead.Bart, Dominyk and Sadie will be home tonight by 10. It will be nice to have Bart and Saide home, and Dominyk too but I have t...
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| More Words from Wilson |
| 2008-07-01 23:09:08 |
I was reminded as I was attempting to go to sleep with Wilson sharing my bed. He is so funny. The picture above is an example of the funny expressions he makes and the way he adds life to just about everything.I came back from the bathroom and Gizmo was on our bed. "Why is Gizmo up here," I asked. "Don't know," Wilson said. "Guess he just decided to join us."Later he and I were praying and then I said goodnight. I said, "I'm glad you're my son, Wilson. I think you're a great kid. I love you."He said, "love you too" in the cutest way, like he always says it (I have to get that on tape for all you who are Wilson fans). And then he said, "On thing I don't like about you though .... the BEANS."Last week Bart was doing this thing he does where he nods his head at me and smiles knowing...
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| Ending Day One of the New Month's Resolution |
| 2008-07-01 20:23:24 |
Not an ounce of pop, not a milligram of Caffeine. And it was evening and i was morning, the first day.Anyone else doing this? Make it through your first day?...
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| Better Blog Now |
| 2008-07-01 19:53:21 |
I have had two conversations with Salinda from her babysitting job today. Both of them were positive even though I had to remind her of some things that she might not consider to be positive. She handled them well.I'm heading up to pick her up from therapy. Maybe we'll get through these next two hours without a huge ordeal.That would sure be nice....
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| Jimmy's Job Search |
| 2008-07-01 19:51:49 |
I've been trying to find a job for Jimmy. He is sixteen and really could be a good employee, but can't fill out an application correctly and interviews horribly.So I decided to try to help out.I called KFC today and the manager said they were hiring cooks.Jimmy asked me, "If you tell them I am a good cooker at home, do you think they will hire me?"I replied, "If I tell them you're a good cooker, they're not going to think I'm very smart!"...
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| Surprise, Surprise, Surprise |
| 2008-07-01 16:01:49 |
I feel like Gomer Pyle. Salinda was fine to and from therapy, fine at therapy, and even wanted to come home. She and I were the only ones home and she decided she wanted to take the dog for a jog. So they are out jogging and I am fixing supper. I'm actually home alone. I know you don't care, but I do this in my head all the time -- Kyle doesn't live here, Rand at work, Mike is in jail, John in Group Home, Jimmy, Ricardo, Wilson, Leon at the Y, Salinda on a jog, Tony with PCA, Sadie, Dominyk and Bart and camp -- everyone accounted for. I always start at 12 and count down to make sure I know where everyone is.Salinda actually has mentioned sleeping in her own bed willingly tonight. That's odd. I'm hoping the boys at the Y call soon as I am needing some help tidying up before supper...
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| Late Breaking (but not good) news |
| 2008-07-01 11:43:39 |
Apparently Mike is back in our county jail. Arrested last night. We hadn't even been checking, but someone called to let me know that he was back on the website. He was in court ordered chemical dependency treatment. The last we heard from him was when the facility called for his insurance information and we informed them that he was no longer on our insurance.We don't know the rest of the story. We don't know if he was discharged, if he ran from the facility, or if he completed the program, though that is doubtful. But we know where he is now.Sigh....
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| When He is Good He is Very Very Good |
| 2008-07-01 11:27:36 |
Jimmy can be such an incredible sweetheart. When he can offer to help out, he is the best ever. He goes out of his way to offer to do things for Bart and I.This is a picture he took of himself when he wasn't supposed to be touching my camera. Might want to not leave evidence, buddy. He even looks kinda guilty, don't you think?Anyway, I digress.He just asked me if I would like him to make me my sandwich and bring my lunch to me in the office.What a honey....
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| Very Easy Day |
| 2008-06-30 21:23:56 |
Wow, this was a very easy day. I wish I would have gotten more done, but it was such a relaxing day that I wasted some of it.Salinda is gone on a babysitting job for most of the week. Dominyk and Sadie are with Bart at camp (not going to have to listen to a pop meltdown for 3 days!) Rand had school this morning. Tony was with PCAs. Ricardo is playing soccer out of town. Tonight for supper there were only 4 boys and me. It was so weird. Tonight, only Wilson and JImmy were home as Leon had a meeting with his confirmation mentor and Rand had a church event.I went walking with the neighbor across the street, and now I'm calling it a night.Life's good.......
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| She Won't Let you Be Her Mom, until She Knows She's Your Daughter |
| 2008-06-30 21:21:05 |
I've written many times before about "claiming" the adopted child. I have found that many families will have a child placed with them and view it as a "test run." They decide that they will see how things go for a while.Problem is this: The child isn't going to trust you until they are sure they are staying. And this may take until years after they finalize. So, the adult has to claim the child first.And if the adult does not claim the child, then everyone gets stuck. And the longer you wait, the harder it is. And behaviors escalate, etc. I think I'm repeating myself.But the title of this post is something that I said to someone the other day. And it sums it up perfectly."She won't let you be her Mom, until she knows she's your daughter." We ca...
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| Happy Monthiversary! |
| 2008-06-30 10:33:28 |
We made it through the month of June! The first month of summer is over and here we are. A month ago I posted a challenge to make a New Months Resolution. I made two. The first was to drink 64 ounces of water a day. The second was to write at least a paragraph each day.Well, I did much better with the water than the writing. I would say that at least 24 or 25 days this month I got all that water down. And to me, that's a lot of water. There were some days when I even drank more!How about the rest of you? What did you decide to do? How did it go?Who else wants to join us for New Month's Resolutions in July?Me -- no caffeine and no pop for 31 days. Wow. One day at a time and I'll do it....
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| More Picnic Pics |
| 2008-06-30 09:54:20 |
While Kari cooks, I get to take pictures.And I'm sorry, no matter how hard I try I can't get over how cute Leon and Wilson are....
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| Why We Love to Picnic with the "other" Fletchers |
| 2008-06-30 09:05:45 |
These two pictures show the main reason why we like to picnic with Mike and Kari. They grill. We sit on our butts. (and, no, Kari was not going to hit Mike with the spatula -- I don't think -- though last night, I guess it was a possibility, but don't look over here asking ME to share their dirty family secrets with you... (joke)And then there is the fact that we get to look at cute faces like THESE ones...And the fact that our kids get along so well. At least ten of them sharing one picnic table without any real drama.......
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| Feeling Good about Being VERY Human |
| 2008-06-30 08:34:55 |
I'm used to being imperfect. It has sort of become routine for me to make errors since I've been doing it for years. My husband is much more perfect than I, so I think when he makes a mistake he gets more stressed out.Take this morning for example. I am feeling great at the moment -- but the last hour has been, well, less than ideal.Sadie and I headed to the Y this morning. It was weigh in day (you'll have to click here to find out if I lost and leave motivating comments ;-). I knew that she needed to be at the church at 8, so I planned our trip there accordingly. When we returned at 7:15 I discovered a very frustrated husband who had intended on leaving to be at the church at 7:30. One of Dominyk's pill bottles was missing from it's usual spot and he couldn't find Dominyk's pants.I...
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| Wilson and a Dish Towel |
| 2008-06-29 22:13:29 |
Wilson was playing with a dishtowel today. He named his characters.First we had "Captain Wilson"Then, "the Virgin Wilson"and finally, "Mummy wilson"...
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| Sunny afternoon at "The Pit" |
| 2008-06-29 15:30:59 |
There is a “lake” in town that people locally refer to as “the Pit.” There is very little supervision here (as in NONE) and so I don’t drop kids off here ever. But they love to fish and swim here, and so sometimes I give in and bring them.Today it seemed like too perfect of a day not to be outside and so I have my laptop at a picnic table at “the pit.” When I am out of battery, I will sit in the sun and read a compliation of writings by Hmong American writers that Bart checked out of the libary.I have Dominyk, Ricardo, Leon and Wilson with me adn Bart took Sadie, Tony and Dominyk with him to do laundry. Salinda, still with near perfect behavior all weekend, is staying home, asking at her own initiative to earn some money to pay off her debt. Rand is working. We have pl...
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| Calm Before the Storm |
| 2008-06-29 08:08:19 |
It's Sunday morning and in 40 minutes we will walk out the door ready for church.In 10 minutes I will wake the remaining sleeping children. In the thirty minutes that follow things will get wild around here. There will be some tense moments -- probably some screaming and some anger.But the nice thing is that we are finally to a point where everyone can handle sitting through church. There are some weeks when Dominyk still struggles, but for the most part, everyone does well. I actually can focus on the music and the sermon.It's nice to have a Sunday morning where Salinda is being cooperative. She actually asked to leave for church early as she would like to sit by her confirmation mentor and his wife. He is a wonderful older gentleman and that she selected herself and he is a super n...
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| A Drama Free Weekend (so far) |
| 2008-06-28 21:38:42 |
Salinda has been home since yesterday at 5 p.m. and so far we've had a drama free weekend. Last night she read a book. She watched TV today -- went to the mall with a friend for a couple hours and is home early on a Saturday night. It appears she intends to do her dishes without arguing.The friend that she spends the majority of her time with is out of town for the weekend. Usually when this happens Salinda is here and very crabby. But she's been ok so far.Now I have to go round everyone up to head to showers and bed. Church early in the morning.No drama is actually fun and a great contrast to what is typical when Sal is home. Nice to have a break....
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| Electronic Stimulation Store |
| 2008-06-28 19:08:45 |
It's raining. We were going to picnic with Mike and Kari but it is cold and they're tired and Bart went to see Kyle in the Cities and so we bailed and said we'd do it anohter time.So I decided to buy some quiet and went to the Electronic Stimulation Store -- otherwise known as Blockbuster Video, which reminds me of a story that possibly has never been heard by any of my blog readers (besides my dear husband).When I lived in Mexico I lived in a small house with 8 college students, 1 other missionary, and a college student. We shared one bathroom that you had to walk outside to get to and many days there was no hot water. But I digress.Once and a while, for a very special treat, i...
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| Mission Trip Memories... |
| 2008-06-28 17:01:10 |
Last night Bart and I spent some time with a few of the kids. Jimmy had just returned from a MIssion Trip to Inner City Milwaukee. It is interesting to see the things he thinks are important to report. Here are some examples and his view of life. Also interesting to see the kinds of questions that the other kids ask. Jimmy: I had a meatball sub at Subway Dad.Bart: Oh yeah, what do you have on it?Jimmy: Lettuce, tomatoes and Cucumbers ... of course.--------------------------------------JImmy: We went to Lake Michigan.Dominhyk: Did you see any Sea Lamprey? (I had to google that to even know what it was!)-----------------------------------------Jimmy: I had to sleep next to the youth pastor. It was not a good thing.------------------------------...
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| Quick and Painful or Slow and Gentle? |
| 2008-06-28 15:49:09 |
There is one situation in which I prefer Quick and Painful over Slow and Gentle and that is when getting a perm. For seven years in Luverne, I had the same person cut my hair and it wasn't a stranger, but a friend, so I enjoyed talking with her and it made the time go by fast.But since we moved here I have not had a good haircut or perm. I get so frustrated that I just hate going, which makes me put it off until Bart is getting desperate and saying "what do I have to do to get you to do something about your hair." I'm not even going to blog what he threatened me with this time.So I finally went today and fortunately I had someone QUICK. Every inch of my head is throbbing, I got solution in my eyes twice, and my shirt is soaked, but I was in and out in 90 minutes and it was worth the pa...
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| Dreams |
| 2008-06-28 10:58:27 |
My blog entry was supposed to be titled, "It's 10:00 a.m. and nobody has pissed me off yet today."But I waited to long to blog.But, maybe I can remember how I felt 37 minutes ago and go back to that spot of good feelings.I made it to the YMCA again this morning and then came home and showered. Got dressed and came downstairs and, even though Salinda was home and awake and we talked, she didn't get nasty with me. Wow, 3 minutes of positive interraction. I have to document that. Oh wait, I am. ;-)Sheri commented on my blog today about a dream she had about us. It's hilarious. I had a dream of my own last night.I was at the Luverne pool (we used to live in Luverne) and the manager of the local pizza joint was working at the pool. While I was in the pool lobby, several different people...
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| Hate getting caught up in one thing |
| 2008-06-27 10:57:19 |
I started one project this morning and it is still not done. Bart has decided to take the boys to see Wall-E that they have been looking forward to for weeks and I am going to take Sadie to lunch because she has her Jr. High "Right Start" program all this week and can't go to the movie.So my project still isn't done and I need to leave soon.Salinda is still at a friends and Rand is lumbering around... you guessed it.... doing nothing. I let him write out his own work schedule for the week (he is supposed to do some chores in exchange for rent since he's almost twenty) but he is refusing to follow his own schedule, so I guess he'll stay home from the movie and lunch and DO NOTHING.:-)...
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| Slow is Better than No |
| 2008-06-27 09:31:00 |
So I got to sleep in and headed to the Y at 7:30 instead of 6. Nobody has summer school on Fridays and I needed more sleep due to this stupid summer head cold.Between my sneezing and coughing and wheezing and nose blowing I am not exactly in top form. I feel something brewing with Salinda today, but I'm trying to just be thankful for any stress free times we do have.My idea of making a to do list yesterday only got me through two items of it between all the taxi-ing and appointments.But, as I heard on a podcast morning, "Slow is Better than No" So if I got two things done it's better than nothing.......
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