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| Undefined |
| Undefined started out as a branch-off from my fanfiction, a place to promote my stories. However, as time went by, it became so much more. It became a place for me to freely express my thoughts and feelings as well as a portal for me to share my ideas with the world. Feel free to leave a comment while you're there, you don't need to have a blogger account to leave a comment. |
| Language: English |
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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 22 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 247863 |
| Visitors Out: 2411 |
| Total Visitors Out: 4242 |
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| Growing Up |
| 2007-09-28 18:02:00 |
This post is long overdue but I've been so insanely busy lately and my computer is absolutely begging me to throw it out with the amount of times it has screwed up in the past month. Once again, it's September, the days are growing shorter, the weather growing colder, and once again, it's back to school season. For many years now, going back to school has always given me pretty much the exact same feelings every year: excitement, a little sadness for the official ending of the familiar routines of the previous years, and maybe comparing my height to people I haven't seen for the whole summer in hopes that I have grown a micrometer or two. This year, however, the feeling was a little different. It was as if the idea of "growing up" had finally hit me. I mean, its not as if I've been ...
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| The "M" Word |
| 2007-08-21 16:54:00 |
Oh! The root of all evil, bits of coloured paper that we spend all of our lives labouring over, and something that people claim to hate but we secretly all love it to death: money. I think the older you get, the more the importance of money hits you. I was five or so when I wanted pizza for lunch instead of leftovers from the night before, I asked for it and my mom said no. "I'll buy it with my own money then!" I exclaimed and dug out my savings from the odd five dollar bill that my dad sometimes gave me. Of course, my mom retorted by yelling loudly, raving about how I haven't even started making money and I was already spending it lavishly and how I'll grow up to be an idiot that only knows how to spend money and not how to make it. The little five year old me tucked the five dollar...
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| Last of the Travel Log |
| 2007-08-02 18:51:00 |
This is it, I'm sitting at home happily in front of my computer and my days of eating and shopping as a past time are now over. It was an interesting experience, with good and bad. I met my cousins, and got along with all of them except one. She was extremely rude to me even though I was polite to her the entire time and she said that Harry Potter was for little kids, which of course is not true, and the ironic thing is that she's twenty-two years old, and watching some kiddie cartoon when she said that. Though I suppose one of the reasons why she said that was because she failed her English A-Levels and probably wouldn't be able to understand any of "Deathly Hallows", which I spent two days obsessively reading. I spent alot more time with my mom simply because I had no choice and I feel that through the process, we both learned more about each other and have become closer. I know a bit more about her past, seeing where she lived when she was younger and we spent more time talking about what I thought about things, and surprisingly, laughed together.I guess after being in a hot and crowded place for a month, my little apartment suddenly seems very nice. Even breathing seems easier as the days of suffocating from pollution are over (somewhat). I think the thing I do miss about being in a hot crowded city is the feeling of walking through such a city at night; when people begin to head home after dinner, the vendors close up their stalls to go home to their families, the weather cools, and the city just doesn't feel the same. It feels more...romantic.Anyways, here are some of the pictures I took on the trip: (most are randomly and badly taken)
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| Feelings About Harry Potter 7 (NO SPOILERS) |
| 2007-07-23 04:23:00 |
I finally finished reading the book today! As I was reading it, I was caught between wanting to slow down so the moment of finishing the last HP book would not come so soon and reading quicker to find out what happens next. All I can say is that JKR is brilliant. The tone of the book is definitely not directed towards the kiddie audience of elementary school children. The style of the writing departs sharply from the rest of the series and the contrast between the war and peace could be seen clearly in the way JKR plays with humour. Characters that one could say were important but flat are fully fleshed out. As I was reading the book, I could really see why it took JKR so long to plot out the entire story. There are seven books but it really is one story with a very intricate plot and ...
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| The Shopping Experience |
| 2007-07-21 04:19:00 |
Before I begin this post..."Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is released today, yay! I'm on chapter four right now and I decided to take a break to blog and talk to my friends back in Canada. Secondly, when I saw that I had a comment for my movie review yesterday, I thought it was going to be a flame, but instead it was a comment by a very nice person preferring to remain anonymous who agreed with me. Thanks!Moving on... Travelling is always an interesting experience because you're being thrust into somewhere that is simply different from what you are used to. Shopping in a different part of the world of course has been a very amusing and memorable experience. The other day, I saw a bag that I really liked and...
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| Review: "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" (NO SPOILERS) |
| 2007-07-20 05:29:00 |
Even in Asia, I managed to watch OOTP in English, yay! For me, the Harry Potter movies have never managed to bring the magic of the books onto the big screen and OOTP was no different. In terms of the plot, as usual, a ton of detail was cut out as more than seven hundred pages was squeezed into about two hours of screen time. Many things were changed to simplify the plot in order to shorten the movie. It wasn't cut down to the point of GOF where the movie did not have a complete plot and was more of a bunch of scenes from the movie stuck together as a companion for fans of the book. At the same time, however, there was so much cut out of OOTP that the magic of Hogwarts: the students, everyday life, Harry's interaction with his friends, etc. The...
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| Beach Frolicking |
| 2007-07-15 01:06:00 |
Ahhh haven't been to the beach in ages, finally had the opportunity today. There's something about beaches that I really like. It feels really relaxing to feel the warm sand underneath my bare feet, feel the foam of the waves licking my legs, and see the water stretch for what seems to be an infinite distance. When I almost arrive at a beach, I can always tell by the salty smell of the water. I like to stand where the waves roll in and feel the sand move beneath my feet, there's something strangely comforting about standing on a surface that's not solid, letting the ocean take what it wants and give back what it wants when the waves roll in. Unfortunately, going to the beach isn't as fun as it used to be. I have to constantly watch every step I take so I don't step on broken glass or any of the other crap that people leave behind. Swimming there is completely out of the question after hearing all the nasty things that people have been dumping in the ocean. Of course, there's always alot of sunbathers, which means I have to carefully walk in between a whole bunch of beach towels laid on hot sand instead of drawing my own path on the sand. The most horrible thing that happens is when sections of the beach become part of private property and while the nice fancy homes are being built, all the construction noise and dust doesn't exactly make it ideal relaxation enviornment. I suppose this is why out of all the recent times I've been to the beach, I didn't take my shoes off, there just didn't seem to be any point. Maybe someday, I'll do something extremely hypocritical if I ever become stinking rich and buy a house with a private beach property backyard. Meanwhile, maybe all the enviornmentalists will make a difference and we'll all get our nice beaches back.
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| The Louis Vuitton Bag |
| 2007-07-14 03:18:00 |
I'm sure there was a time when someone walked down the street with a Louis Vuitton bag and everyone came to the same conclusion that she was a woman with wealth and class, able to afford such a luxurious and beautifully designed bag. Nowadays, when I walk down the street, especially here in Asia, I see imitation LV bags being sold for less than $5 or $10 in Canadian dollars and everyone from the seven year old that doesn't even know what LV is to the twenty-something wanna be to the forty year old that doesn't give a damn what brand the bag is as long as its useable seems to have one. So now when somebody walks down the street with a LV bag, nobody thinks she's a woman of class and wealth, we're all guessing whether the bag is real or a really good imitation. Its like that with practically every single luxury brand of clothing and accessories. I suppose the reason why people would spend so much money on something in the first place is for the feeling that one can "afford" the luxury and its a status symbol. (Yeah, I know I'm shallow, but come on, everyone has had those moments in life where you need some item to raise your self esteem.) However, the status symbol of these luxury products have diminished significantly due to all the imitations. So by buying the imitations, we've stripped the real product of its meaning. So then we must ask ourselves, what's the point of all of this?
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| Review: "The Queen" |
| 2007-07-10 03:46:00 |
This movie definitely came out a long time ago, but I watched this on the plane over to Asia (refer to previous post) so I figured I might as well write a review for it. I had a choice of several movies to watch but I chose this one simply because Helen Mirren won an Oscar for her performance. The movie is basically about how the death of Princess Diana affected the British royal family, more specifically, Queen Elizabeth. Mirren definitely deserved her Oscar, she completely humanized Queen Elizabeth and made me feel for her. Most of the time, I see the Queen as some rich old lady leeching off of the British when she doesn't really do much to serve the people. Mirren showed the struggle the Queen has of maintaining her personal traditional values of how the monarchy should behave and the attack of the press and the loss of her people's love. There was no over exaggeration or cheesy melodramatic acting, just the expression of Mirren's eyes in the moment when the Queen was at her lowest point where Tony Blair advised her to lower Buckingham Palace's flag to half mast, return to London, and how her people that she was sorry for Diana's death. There was the look of absolute despair in her eyes for that split second, and then the iron determination to do anything to keep her throne for her son and grandson. However, there are some negative points to this movie. Its based on events that happened not very long ago so there aren't any surprises in terms of the plot. Most of the teenage crowd will probably find the movie boring even if I found it quite interesting.Overall rating: 4.5/5
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| Travel Log |
| 2007-07-10 03:35:00 |
Haven't had a chance to blog yet, but I'm currently in Macau, staying at a relative's house. I'm feeling extremely miserable. The fucking mosquitos won't leave me alone and its so damn hot here. I can never towel myself completely dry because nobody uses nice big fluffy towels here and when I hang my towel in the bathroom, the humidity makes it impossible to ever dry. I hate living with relatives, I don't have anyone my own age to talk to and its boring me to tears. I can't believe I threw up on the airplane getting here, I have never thrown up on an airplane before. Argh, this trip was doomed from the start. However, on a more interesting note, I've discovered a strange cultural difference. Instead of products that give you a fake tan, brands of skincare products like Neutrogena, Olay, etc have skincare products that make your skin fairer. I suppose since in Asia, its considered better to have lighter skin, unlike in North America where everyone wants a tan.
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| Fathers Day |
| 2007-06-17 18:07:00 |
Just last night, I had a look through my baby pictures out of boredom and found a whole bunch of them of me and my dad together. In all of them, we're smiling or laughing together. My favourite is one where I'm wearing a frilly dress and he's crouched down beside me and we're both laughing. With the background noise of my dad yelling at me while I sit in my room and study the picture, I wonder what happened between when the picture was taken and the present. Maybe there was something that allowed us to laugh together when I was two that is no longer there now that I've outgrown frilly dresses. I suppose there are moments when a part of that is still in our father-daughter relationship. Sometimes when he's the one cooking dinner instead of my mom and I just help out here and there with little things like flipping something over with the spatula or adding more salt. Its times like that when the kitchen is quiet in a soothing way with only the sounds of food cooking that I really feel the love between us. Unfortunately, there aren't too many moments like this and I suppose maybe we both have to work at getting along. Anyways, to my dad and all the fathers out there, happy fathers day!
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| Chat Room Oddities |
| 2007-06-10 23:15:00 |
I was never a big fan of chat rooms, I mean, I'm sure most of the people on it are perfectly normal, but there always seems to be a random weirdo. Somebody gave me a site displaying some of the oddities that can be found in these chat rooms. I would post the quotes here, but some of it contains more... adult material and alot of swearing.Harry's...wand?When fanfiction and video game freaks mixIsn't the world a such a small place?Chess addictWhen cyber sex goes wrongWhen idiots show offWhy you should not multi-task on your computerA lesson on punctuationWhen "your mom" disses backfireFor more quotes, go to bash.org
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| "I'm Arriving" |
| 2007-06-07 22:29:00 |
This video is so racist and stereotypical, but I can't help but laugh. If you're British, or more specifically, English, prepare to be offended.
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| Forgive Me |
| 2007-06-03 22:54:00 |
Two strings tied in a knot,One wrapped around the other.Your arms around mine,I am warm and safe.Murmur your love to me,I am as cold as ice.I want to jump, fly, swim,I want to run away.One string pulls away,Both are curled and frayed.
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| Behind the Chocolate Bar |
| 2007-05-31 21:58:00 |
I'm sure everyone has shopped at a department store at least once in their lives. I'm assuming that since you're reading this blog, you have access to a computer and the internet, you're probably not living in a third world country. What runs through your mind every time you buy a chocolate bar from Wal-Mart or a t-shirt from American Eagle? Slaves harvesting cocoa beans? Somebody working for ten hours a day sewing shirts in an unhygenic enviornment for ten hours a day with pennies as wages? I certainly never thought about that until I read an article about sweatshops in an old issue of Times or Macleans or something like that the other day. A sweatshop, for those of you who don't know, is basically a factory that offers no benefits for its worke...
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| Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3- At the World's End |
| 2007-05-29 23:31:00 |
Ahh, all good things must come to an end eventually, eh? Unfortunately, the reason for that may be that the quality of "good things" tend to deteriorate as time goes by until they can no longer be labeled as "good". Now this rambling and not-too-logical introduction to this review basically sums up my opinion of this movie: better than "Dead Man's Chest", not as good as "Curse of the Black Pearl". I liked the added romance bits in the plot, especially the ending, very bittersweet. There was a confrontation scene between Elizabeth and Will that I really liked, very romantic. However, the action sequences got pretty repetitive after the first forty minutes. Attempts were made to add humour to the plot by having Jack Sparrow talk to himself...with the different sides of his personality appearing in front of him. It was funny the first time, after that, it just became plain weird. I liked the little bit of plot between Davy Jones and Calypso, except the accent of Calypso made it difficult to understand the dialogue at times. Will Turner doesn't have a very big part in the story in this movie as the plot is centered around Jack Sparrow and the Pirates vs English Navy storyline. I wouldn't have minded seeing more of Orlando Bloom in there... Anyways, if you stay until after the credits are over, there is a teeny weeny additional scene .(by teeny weeny, I really mean teeny weeny)Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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| Review: Spiderman 3 |
| 2007-05-29 20:32:00 |
Okay, I'm writing this review because my mom has decided to constantly remind me that being a journalist is a difficult job and apparently, girls can't do it. Well, I'm going to try my hand at being a critic and write some reviews... On the day after the release of Spiderman 3, I eagerly headed to the theatre to watch the long-awaited third installment of the Spiderman series. The movie was not exactly a disappointment, the action sequences were great, it was the storyline that I thought was a little messy. Now its not that I don't like the drama aspect of the plot in the Spiderman series, in fact, one of the things I enjoy most about the Spiderman series is that unlike alot of action movies, they actually have those sentimental-y life lesson plots that actually work and don't leave me exclaiming "oh man, not again!". However, the romance plot between Peter and Mary Jane was just pushing it. When I walk into the theatre to watch a Spiderman movie, I don't want a chick flick with all the "Peter, I love you but...", "Peter, Mary Jane and I kissed...", etc. He kissed her but then she was actually with somebody else...too much chick flick drama! The whole Spiderman becoming evil and dark didn't work out too well either. It was more comedic than suspenseful and the fact that Peter ended up looking like Hitler without the mustache in the cafe scene didn't help matters much. However, I did like the new characters of Sandman and Venom, the fighting sequences were great, especially that scene where a section of the building fell off. The storyline with the tension in the friendship of Harry and Peter was great. I must admit, I could feel myself tearing up a bit at the ending.Overall Rating: 4/5
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| The Unbalanced Scales of Love |
| 2007-05-20 21:28:00 |
Why is it that in a relationship, one person always loves or cares about the other person more? I've been on the side of the relationship where I care more, many, many times. It sucks and I know it. Now I'm on the side where the other person cares more, should I be happy? Maybe I should, but I'm not. Every time I am told something that should theoretically go weak in the knees or blush or be flattered or just something, I just don't feel anything. I feel so guilty every time this happens and I don't feel anything, instead of standing there in awkward silence, I just say something back or I kiss him or something like that just so I feel less guilty. I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm incapable of loving anyone but myself or maybe I'm just a cold and hard-hearted girl.
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| Undefined: Redecorated |
| 2007-05-13 20:12:00 |
I think people who regularly check out this blog (and there aren't that many of you out there) probably have noticed some of the changes made to the blog. In case you haven't, I figured I would point them out to you. By the way, take a minute to visit http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com if you would like to make changes to your blog, this site/blog makes everything so much easier with simple instructions.Layout ChangeI changed the template from "snapshot" to "minima" and the page has three columns instead of two. I played around with the colours of the titles, etc. I also made a header banner, it doesnt look that great but I'll make a better one later. The picture of the banner is from the Ralph Lauren Romance perfumes. Since it has a pink undertone, I used a bit of pink in the banner so all the text, etc of the blog had to match and now everything looks so girly.Sidebar ChangesTheres quite alot of new things in the sidebar. There's the "Song of the Moment" box, where I change the song regularly according to how I feel and I also write a little blurb explaining why I chose the song. The song won't play until you click on the "play" button and you can also stop the song or change the volume whenever you want. I know how annoying it is to arrive at a page and have a really annoying song playing loudly over and over again while I read the contents of the page. There's also the "Google Translator" where you can view this page in another language of your choice using Google Translator. Beware of the fact that literal translations don't always make sense though! There's also quite a few tiles in the "Thanks to..." box. Since I wanted more traffic to this blog, I've listed it onto several blog directories and they require blog owners to link back to their directory so I put all the links there.There will be more changes and updates coming soon!
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| Mother's Day |
| 2007-05-13 16:42:00 |
By the way, I didn't make this cake (actually, it looks more like a pie...) for my mom, I got the picture from Wikipedia. Well, its Mother's Day today, so I figured that I'd blog a bit about mothers and my mom. Whereas I don't think I'll ever be a mother and I actually don't get along that well with my mom, I do respect the mothers out there. Its a 24/7 job with no breaks or holidays and you don't get paid in any type of currency except for smiles and love. As cheesy as it may sound, I think my mom has made the biggest impact in my life. Its through her that I've learned how to be strong and believe in myself. When my family first came to Canada, neither of my parents spoke English and we came here because my dad was offered a job. Well, it turns out that my dad's employer was cheating him of money and since he didn't speak English, there wasn't much that he could do. Well, my mom stormed to my dad's boss with the newfound knowledge of Canada's labour laws and in her fiery temper, demanded that my dad be treated fairly in accordance to Canada's laws. Another instance where I really admire my mom...her cooking skills. I'm salivating just thinking about those meals she cooks. Like I mentioned before, I argue alot with my mom and I do feel bad for it because part of it is my fault and sometimes (actually, a lot of the times), I'm too caught up in my own problems to think about where she is coming from before I open my mouth and start yelling back. Anyhow, while you're thinking of ways to show you appreciation to your mother, why not read about Mother's Day on Wikipedia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day
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| Little Miss Scary (or rather, INSANE) |
| 2007-04-28 18:42:00 |
Weeeeeeeee!!!!! After all these months of bottled up anger and stress, I think I've finally gone insane. Everything seems strangely emotional to me nowadays, even "Spongebob Squarepants" seems strangely touching. All the people that want to "look at my work" in socials class tempt me to throw a loud temper tantrum on the spot. All of a sudden, when I think about Theatre Company, I want to laugh. A friend pointed out to me a few days ago that we're all in Theatre Company because we need to mask our insecurities with being in the spotlight but once one of us actually gets the spotlight and the attention, we have to go about bringing that person down because we can't stand the idea of anyone but ourselves in the spotlight. Doesn't this seem funny? Deep inside, we're all a bunch of school yard bullies with attention-whore complexes. I spent most of today watching alternating episodes of "Prison Break" and "Sex and the City", two things that do not mix at all. While watching and even right now, I kept playing with my tape measure keychain, trying to see how long I can stretch the tape measure and then pulling the button back without getting lashed by the tape measure. Meanwhile I am also ignoring the fact that I have alot of homework to do and instead, am slacking off. I feel extremely blocked in terms of fanfiction right now and I feel almost like giving up. Today I spent hours in the mall testing various brands of foundation on my hand and trying out perfumes by spraying it on those little cardboard. The result: my hand smelled like alot of perfumes (primarily the Calvin Klein ones) mixed together. I felt like I was having a girly day out with myself. If by now you're still reading this post, I think you realize that none of this makes any sense at all. LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
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| The Underappreciated Careers |
| 2007-04-24 19:46:00 |
The only thing I can say right now is that April sucks. I'm stressed, pissed off, and slightly sad. Thirty-two people died in a shooting at Virginia Tech, I am once again, going through my college/university options and career choices. In the midst of all this, I succumbed to my unhealthy habit of emotional eating, which led to my realization that one of the most admirable careers in the world was being a farmer. Even with modern technology and huge ass tractors instead of oxen and plow, being a farmer still isn't easy. You have to risk losing your crops to uncontrollable elements like the weather. The biggest reason for my admiration is that farmers are the ones who grow our food. You could be Bill Gates or the King/Prime Minister of Saudi Arabia, it...
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| Weekend Store Hours |
| 2007-04-15 23:28:00 |
I really don't understand why stores close earlier on weekends. It makes no sense at all. I mean, weekends are when people don't have to go to work and therefore have more time to shop. Stores are open late on weekdays when people are too tired to shop after work or they have to go to sleep earlier because they have to wake up early the next morning. Doesn't it make sense to extend store hours on weekends? I mean, they would make so much more money by mall-lingering people like me who can spend the entire day at the mall. Well, I mostly window shop but that's not the point. This pretty much takes out half of the things one could possibly do on a weekend when staying out late. I mean, come on, this is ruining the country's economy here!! Okay, fine, I admit it. The source of this frustration comes from me taking the goddamned CD-ROM/DVD drive to the store for an exchange/refund and finding it closed. ARGH!
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| The Computer Drama |
| 2007-04-14 23:45:00 |
God, if I can use my computer to crack open beers, maybe I'd feel a bit more mellow and less pissed off at this piece of crap. Before I go on any further, if you don't know already, I'm not exactly a computer expert and don't know much about computers beyond the basic stuff. This horrid tale begins with my CD-ROM drive no longer functioning. Now my computer is a little more than five years old, but for some reason, it can't even play DVDs and I've been thinking of getting a DVD drive for a while anyways so this gave me an excuse to get a CD/DVD drive combo that all the new computers now have. So I skipped along to the neighbourhood Future Shop, a place where they over-charge you for the same metal crap you get everywhere else. Now I'm aware of...
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| Petty Revenge |
| 2007-04-12 20:38:00 |
This is my 100th post on this blog! Its not a particularly happy or deep and soulful post. It is a post of petty revenge that I have resisted until this day to act upon.This is a picture of someone that I will call "Dick" for the purposes of protecting his identity despite how much he does not deserve it. Also, of course, the double meaning of the name gives you a sense of what his personality is like. No offense to any of you out there named "Dick". In my previous rants about Theatre Company and the Spring Play, I have mentioned the group of people determined to have their way and ignore other people's ideas. "Dick" is the ringleader. In the drama studio, there are quite alot of pictures of people in Theatre Company in various plays. I have quite a few p...
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| A Good Christian Girl |
| 2007-04-08 03:28:00 |
Despite the picture, this is not a post mocking religion or anything like that. During one of the heiniously long Theatre Company rehearsals the other day, I was talking to one of my friends (he's a guy) about various things and both of us were the type of people that don't find it very awkward to discuss sex and stuff like that. So we were talking about reading smut and watching porn and he said with a half-surprised tone, "I thought you were a good church-going Christian girl." Even though he didn't say it seriously, that line stuck in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it and I suddenly felt like a very, very bad person. I felt like I was slandering the religion by being such a bad representation of Christi...
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| Determination Versus Bravery |
| 2007-04-02 06:09:00 |
Sometimes, I wonder if its braver to suck it up and stay in an unpleasant situation or just to walk away and give up. If you stay, you're suffering, but its familiar routine. If you quit, sometimes you find yourself missing the old familiar routine and some fun aspects of it that you didn't realize was there before. But it takes bravery to stand up and leave a familiar enviornment behind. Then you have all these sayings like "Winners never quit, quitters never win". I guess I'm one of the losers in between like the picture above; constantly halfway between quitting and continuing on. Always wanting to take the stairs to the fitness centre but ending up on the escalators anyways.*sigh*
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| No Life in April |
| 2007-04-01 06:05:00 |
See those orange X's? Thats all the days I have to stay after school for Theatre Company rehearsals. As you can see, I will have no life at all in April and no time for fanfiction. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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| Why I Hate To Cry |
| 2007-03-30 05:58:00 |
Despite all the reports about how crying is healthy and it does actually feel good afterwards, I don't like crying. I guess its from when I was little and my parents would yell and me and hit me more if I started crying so I just learned to suck it up and hold it in. I hate how weak I feel when I get all choked up by sobs and the mountain of kleenex keeps piling up as I get all slobbery and I feel like sinking into a puddle. Like today, I know I shouldn't care about what other people think. But it hurts to think of these people holding their grudges because I disagreed with them and talking behind my back saying stuff like "I want to slap her [me] across the face" when every time they forget a line or stumble in a play, I was the one encouraging them. It makes me question why the hel...
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| Post-vacation Lag |
| 2007-03-27 02:41:00 |
I sometimes wonder whether or not the vacation is really worth the suffering when its over and its the first day back to my normal routine. Not only is today the first day back from spring break, but its also a Monday. Lets just say, it took me fifteen minutes to drag myself out of bed this morning and I can't even describe the effort involved to keep my eyes open while brushing my teeth and having breakfast. In fact, as bizzare as it may sound; even with my mp3 player on at full blast and the icy early-spring morning breeze attacking my face, I felt sleepy while walking to school. In fact, throughout the entire day, I had to fight to stay awake in class. Even while typing this post I want to sleep. You may be wondering why I'm posting instead of sleeping. The reason: homework on the first day back. I will not fall asleep, I will not fall asleep, I will not fall asleep...
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| Bored |
| 2007-03-21 02:00:00 |
I think I'm at the point in my life where I'm absolutely bored of everything and I'm dying for some sort of change. Everything I do seems to be for the purpose of completing a task or living up to a commitment. Nothing seems fun and shocking. I need to go out and see the world; meet some new weirdos that I have yet to get used to their weirdness and away from people who already have expecations of who I am. I want to hear music from another land, inspire new people and in turn, be inspired by their differences. I need to get away from this similarity in my life that seems to blend one day into the next. For once, I want to wake up in the morning and not know what's going to happen throughout the day.Argh, I need a vacation or a drink.Maybe both would be nice.
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| From Me To You |
| 2007-03-19 01:23:00 |
Me.I stand with my white jacket stained,School bag on my back.I am muddled, confused, and lost.I tell you, I need an excuse to arrive late.You promise to stay.You, a crown of forbidden glory on your head,Heart humble on your sleeve.Voice deep like a man's,Laughs coming easily like a boy's.I call out and you reply.Words flow out like a stream,We turn a block from school.I laugh and you smile,Another corner in the path.I whisper goodbye,You smile and wave.As I walk away;Away from your scent,Away from your voice,Away from your heart.I find myself melting,Melting into,You.
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| Unbelievably Lost and Confused |
| 2007-03-16 02:02:00 |
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life right now, I feel so confused and lost. It seems like lately, I've been changing my life in a decisive and dramatic fashion. I've had my eyes set on such impossible and bizzare goals. At the same time, I question whether or not I'm making the right decision. Am I screwing things up rather than changing my life for better? I quit the Ultimate Frisbee team because it took me two years to realize that I never liked the sport in the first place. What I liked about it was the feeling of togetherness when I played side by side with my team members and the feeling that I belonged. I only joined in the first place because my friends joined and I didn't want to feel left out. I remembered in grade eight when they all joined the Library Club and it seem...
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| Theatre Company Woes |
| 2007-03-14 01:49:00 |
I've never really quite understood why the world of celebrities always seemed to be filled with assorted scandals until recently. I was a drama student ever since I entered high school. Even before that, I always enjoyed giving oral presentations and being on stage for a few moments in an assembly or a small scale play. I love acting, it gives me a chance to be someone else for a period of time on stage. The first time I was in a large scale school play, I felt like I was the one tht held the audience's attention, in the spotlight, they only had eyes for me. It was a feeling of triumph, ecstasy, and power like no other. Afterwards, people came up to me and told me I did a good job and that it felt cool to see someone they knew on stage. I auditioned for the Thea...
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| Siege |
| 2007-03-13 02:42:00 |
I've been hacked, both my computer and msn account was hacked yesterday. I feel like I'm in one of those historical fiction novels where the city is sieged and the enemy has finally broken though. A year and a half ago, I wouldn't have cared too much if anybody hacked into my msn account or computer, but now I've got fanfic. As much as I would like to just walk into school tommorow and tell everyone what I do in my spare time, to be honest, I don't have the guts to do it. There are people like my friends who I know will support me, and by friends, I mean the actual friends that I've known for years who've stuck by me, not the casual accquaintance "friends". I know there will be people who will whisper and hate me just simply for being who I am. I admit that I'm a coward and I will never ha...
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| A Whole Bunch Of Things That Make No Sense |
| 2006-10-09 02:55:00 |
When everything seems to swirl and you're absolutely sure you haven't taken drugs or consumed any alcohol, you know that something's wrong. Just what is the foothold that you stand on when you climb the big mountain of life? No matter which way you step, no niche in the rocks will ever feel comfortable for your feet. No matter how strong the rocks look, its always crumbled by what people seem to see as the weakest elements; water, wind, sand. I suppose over the years I've learned that pleasing people isn't going to make me happy. As humans, its impossible to become satisfied and you'll always demand more. I guess I always hold back just a little so there's always space to back out of relationships, don't get too attatched. But sometimes, it seems like there are some threads that are imposs...
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| My Adventure in the Self Help Section |
| 2006-08-10 02:40:00 |
So the other day I was in Chapters and I walked past the Self Help book section, I was pissed off and felt slightly depressed for no apparent reason other than I couldn't sleep very much for the entire week and was really tired, so I figured, maybe I should read some books "that will help me help myself."I found the book titles really weird, almost no creativity needed. It was good in a way that everything was simple, the book is what the title says it is. Its not like books in any other genre where they have weird titles that have you wondering what they're about. I mean there's all these "How to be Happy," "Ten Steps To a More Successful Life," as I read these titles, I wondered if the authors actually used their own advice. I mean, would they really go and talk to people they hated and...
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| Pirates of the Caribbean 2 |
| 2006-07-23 01:51:00 |
I finally watched the movie today, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I waited for awhile and today, on impulse, I decided to go alone, something that I've never done before. Anyways, back to the movie...I must say that Johnny Depp was brilliant as Jack Sparrow, he had the charm and the humour to bring out the character. Almost all the humour came from his character and his acting is great. He managed to make Jack humorous, cowardly, but a captain at the same time. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom were kind of bland. I mean, their acting was alright but it was just overshadowed by Johnny Depp. The story itself wasn't as good as the first one but the special effects were much better.But I think I'll still watch the third one when it comes out. (yes, I admit, Orlando Bloom is one of the reasons)
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| Fanfiction Confusion |
| 2006-07-20 19:28:00 |
I don't normally discuss fanfiction outside the forums on the site, simply because I think I obsess about it enough normally that I don't need to obsess anymore on my blog, but today, its not about my obsession, its more about what I want to do with writing.When I first discovered fanfiction last year, it felt like there was this whole new world of people and stories out there. It was new, refreshing, different. In the beginning, I was just reading and I thought: I want to be like these fanfiction authors, I want to get reviews, I want to write a great story. So I finally got an idea and the guts to write my first chapter and I sent it in at the end of August. It was my first submission, I felt that if it got validated, I would be happy. It got validat...
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| Spelling Problems |
| 2006-07-18 22:47:00 |
You know what's really sad? School's been out for about two weeks and I'm already losing my ability to spell. The other day, I couldn't remember how to spell 'blonde'. Is that sad or what? I kept on thinking, "is it 'blond' or 'blonde'?" I'm getting the French and English spellings all mixed up. This is what happens when you take a second language that has similar English words.Thank God for spell check.
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