 |
 |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
|
|
| Blast Shields Down |
| A place for the writings of two college students from Michigan, covering topics ranging from literature to movies, philosophy to pop culture, politics to insane ramblings and everything in between. |
| Language: English |
| RSS Feeds for this Blog |
|
Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 154 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 420750 |
| Visitors Out: 2116 |
| Total Visitors Out: 2756 |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| T&R of the week |
| 2008-07-21 13:35:05 |
Like so much Lovecraftian fan fiction tentacles seem to haunt me everywhere I turn. I am speaking of this-~four inches tall, a vigintillion years old, googly eyed, tentacle clad, and tiny winged~A seemingly cute Cthulhu which my mother for some odd reason was compelled (not by me I assure you) to create one afternoon. Maybe Lovecraft was right when he wrote about the Cthulu Cult and the strange call of its godmonster. Is this the call of Cthulhu?...
|
| |
|
| The Moon, a Preview |
| 2008-07-19 01:31:12 |
"Lately I've found my thoughts, my soul, and my every meditation losing themselves from me and ascending away to the cool-black seas of the moon. My beautiful lady Luna, my final peace.""the harsh bright soil of Luna"But that is neither here nor there. Just a quick heads up, Matt is gone, I'm in charge, so.... MORE MOON. So sweet. Other than all that I don't have much for you, but thanks for all the comments on the Wendy's letter; I'll post a response from the corporation if I ever get one.What's next? More book reviews, more letters. Love you beautiful sonsofabitches.best,CML...
|
| |
|
| My letter to Wendy |
| 2008-07-12 00:23:16 |
"Wendy's International, Inc.
One Dave Thomas Blvd.
Dublin, OH 43017Dear Wendy’s Corporation,Tonight, at 11:50 P.M., I attempted to walk through the drive ‘‘thru’’ at one of your locations and was denied service. When I asked if my money was no good at the establishment for some reason I was told that no, it was in fact very good, if only I were in a car. After asking to see a manager this point was reiterated to me through a closed drive ‘thru’ window with no further explanations. Several minutes later, after walking a short half-mile home, I got into my car and drove myself back to your restaurant. After waiting ten minutes in line I paid, with exact change with US bills issued by the Federal Reserve, $3.81 for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich. I also asked to speak to the ...
|
| |
|
| Wall•E (review number 2) |
| 2008-07-02 23:24:29 |
As much as I had started this hoping to write a review of a clever kids film I find it now to be, just as the film itself, much more. This is than not a review but an in-depth reflection. Also, I’ll assume you’ve already read either Matt or Paul’s review or seen the film and forgo any plot synopsis. Wall-E is a special type of movie¬¬– it is science fiction for children. Not only that but Wall-E is sci fi in its purest state, reflecting on human society and condition from the outside; and this time through children’s eyes.This movie stimulated in me what so much science fiction has overlooked: my heart. Lo, in little Wall-E all the short comings and pity I’d ever felt at the realization each time I watched Star Wars that R2-D2 and C3-PO w...
|
| |
|
| Movie Review: Wall-E |
| 2008-06-29 20:38:36 |
Title: Wall-EDirector: Andrew StantonReleased: June 27, 2008Runtime: 103 min.Where Pixar found the cajones to make this movie I have no earthly clue, but they managed to conjure up the ghosts of Brave New World and 2001: A Space Odyssey and create an animated children’s movie the likes of which I have never seen, and truly doubt I will every witness again. Wall-E is, on the surface, a kid’s movie, but I’m hard pressed to fun much beyond the animation, the soft colors and cute robotic protagonist that is aimed at them. Oddly enough, this film is really for the very few adults who will actually give it the chance it deserves instead of snoozing while their kids stare at the wonderful animation.Introducing the plot feels...
|
| |
|
| The Audacity |
| 2008-06-26 23:19:32 |
How does something like this happen? Where do Republicans like Mr. Rove get their balls? From where does this grossly incompetent and unbridled audacity come from? Somehow, once again, a presidential election is turning into game of spin and hypocracy. Remember when the Bush people were able to turn John Kerry's war record against him? Here we see it again...
“Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by.”
-Karl Rove on Barack Obama
How is it that rich white men the country over are able to misconstrue intelligence, integrity, and poise as arrogance. Oh how far we've come that a black man raised by a single-mother and married to a woman from south Chicago can too be an elitists.
God bless this land of opportunity.
-cml
appendix:
"Quote"...
|
| |
|
| Sonic the Hedgehog |
| 2008-06-24 11:39:49 |
Games have become so cinematic these days, so much more story-driven, flashier, prettier. I applaud the advances, I enjoy them, even, but I just don’t have the time to delve into all of those games. I still like to read news about new games, but I hardly have time to more than sample them. I’ve played Gears of War and Assassin’s Creed, and a bunch of Wii games, but I’m just not ready to commit to buying a new system. I figure they’ll all be waiting for me in ten years and for cheap, anyway. Sometimes I think that there is an undue emphasis on graphics, but for the most part, I like the added depth of video games. We’re a long way from the princess being in another castle. I still remember the first time I saw the beautiful cinematics of Final Fantasy IX, and experienced th...
|
| |
|
| Water Water Everywhere and- |
| 2008-06-21 23:01:01 |
HOLY SHIT look at all those tentacle monsters! If you've ever wondered what tentacle monsters are or what exactly it is Matt and I are always talking about, this should give you a better idea. What this picture is actually meant to be though is an HIV/AIDS awareness and protection poster. It's brought to you by the artist James Jean.cml...
|
| |
|
| The Literary Roundup |
| 2008-06-17 21:54:59 |
This summer has been a summer of reading for me. While I haven;t had that much free time lately I've still managed to pack my days with pages and pages of reading. I'd say a good 80-90% of my waking thoughts are turned towards literature. So, I thought it'd be interesting to bring just a few of the little, entertaining, and weird bits of writing or literature related things that I've been playing around with online.Thou caluminous rampallian flap-dragon! Thou puking guts-griping blind-worm! This is a really simple but fun page to play with. I found it completely on purpose (unlike most everything els) because I there are some situations where only the harsh and scornful words of the bard will do. I'm sure you've all been there. Its always seemed very important to me that when insulti...
|
| |
|
| Download Day |
| 2008-06-16 15:53:00 |
Unfortunately blogger has been upset with me lately and isn't allowing me to add any pictures to my posts. While I do have some posts in the wings, I'm going to save them until it is possible to put pics with them.My working assumption is that it's because I'm using the Firefox 3 Beta as a browser, so hopefully the problem will be fixed by tomorrow when...Firefox 3 is released. I can't tell you enough how much better Firefox is than IE, especially because of the customization browser add-ons give you. But, if I had to choose the top reason why you should switch, it would be the cool logo. In other news, Spore Creature Creator comes out tomorrow, too. Spore is basically a life simulation, letting you play a species from microscopic organism to spacefaring race. I'm pretty excited for ...
|
| |
|
| God's Country |
| 2008-06-13 06:16:00 |
It should firstly and plainly be said that I move in all those most respectable circles which all other atheist do as well.I got up early this morning so that I could go out while the sun was still rising. It’s very often that I’m still awake when the birds begin to chirp but not so common that I’m actually awake and moving about outside with them as they do. I took a bike ride around the neighborhood and ended up down at the corner store. Everything looked fresh and clear in the morning-wet air. A crystalline blue sky filled full with misty cloud-whispers covering a heavy and damp dew humid air. It’s so clear out though. The sun is up but not out yet, not yet high enough to shine over the thicker clouds that coat the Midwest horizon in faux white cap mountain peaks.Traffic i...
|
| |
|
| Movie Review: The Strangers |
| 2008-06-04 12:11:53 |
Title: The StrangersDirector: Bryan BertinoReleased: May 30, 2008Runtime: 90 min.I work at a movie theater, thus I get to see movies for free. Sometimes I even get paid to watch movies. This review should be the first in a long line of movie reviews this summer. I hope to see as many movies as I can, but these reviews will most likely be mostly positive, because I’m going to see movies I want to see, not just anything. The following review will be the exception.I got to screen The Strangers on Thursday night, which was a pretty good gig, really. Instead of doing any real work, I got paid to watch a movie for a little over an hour and a half. While I would have preferred a better movie, I can’t really complai...
|
| |
|
| A Moment in the Sun: Tentacle Rape |
| 2008-05-07 11:24:45 |
Maybe it is a delusion of grandeur, maybe it is all mistake, but BSD has finally reached the pinnacle of internetdom. After a year of working out fingers to the bone and climbing, we have finally reached the google main page for something other than "blast shields" or "caleb michael lalinsky".Yes, folks... that's right... we're the number four google search result for "tentacle rape".Since we always seek to please our readers, we here at BSD would like to announce a new segment, called Tentacle Rape Corner, where we will be discussing all sorts of things tentacle related... both rape and yes, consensual sex... with tentacles involved, of course. We will also be working on other squid/octopus related subjects and are trying to hammer out an agreement with some Krakens for photo ops. Anyw...
|
| |
|
| Do the homeless drink our blood at night? |
| 2008-05-04 03:51:50 |
There is a point when desperation stops being French and romantic and becomes something much more real and scary. Is it so surprising to think then that maybe the homeless, displaced, and down trodden of the streets just might drink our blood at night? And if they do, is that so bad? Can you really blame them?Sure, maybe they’re a little dated. It seems that the dark, horny, beauty of draculas in the 90s has been replaced by the swashbuckling flamboyance of pirates in the 00s. As Anne Rice made room for Roller Coaster rides the importance of blood and blood drinking was lost and now may be found in a less desirable place, on the dirty and dry lips of those retched wrecked souls call...
|
| |
|
| Religion? Pfft |
| 2008-04-30 22:09:39 |
The following was written by the good friend of the blog Eli, and thanks to my laziness and forgetfulness it's been languishing in some god forsaken folder on my computer. So here it is, in all it's glory. Thanks, Eli... I'm sorry this took so long.'There is a resolution in the House of Representatives currently that attempting to create an "American Religious History Week.” Specifically, the aim is to affirm "...the rich spiritual and religious history of our Nation's founding and subsequent history and expressing support for designation of the first week in May as 'American Religious History Week' for the appreciation of and education on America's history of religious faith." In this resolution is a list of ties between church (specifically the Christian church) and state over the ...
|
| |
|
| A Sofa |
| 2008-04-26 20:56:29 |
In suburbia, in a little backyard sits an old couch. A couch bed, but who would rather be called a sofa. A proper sofa, high backed, tan with a flower print. A stuffy thing that you might expect to find in your grandma’s house, covered in a plastic cover. Once it was a king, the centerpiece of a living room set. Once it was the bed of dalmatians, chows, golden retrievers, labs and cats, the place where a man and a woman rested after a long day’s work, the trampoline of a small child. The first night of it’s exile, after it was handled roughly and rammed out the backdoor, a little orange and white dog barked at it as a big, black unfamiliar shape in her territory. It was dark and cold, the ground wet and squishy from melting snow. It was...
|
| |
|
| Renewal |
| 2008-04-23 16:30:55 |
Caleb and I have much different views of spring. I suppose they are both gut reactions, but his is much simpler... girls drive him crazy. While I do agree with Caleb to a certain extent that it is somewhat maddening when the layers start coming off, I'd rather live with the frustration. I suppose my feelings of spring are a bit strange, but... I there you go.I've never felt more at peace with the world than on those first nights of spring when one can lie in bed, in the not quite absolute darkness, feel the warm breeze from the window and just be. I'm not sure what exactly it is, whether it's the excitement of a new season, the embrace of warmth after the harshness of winter, or perhaps just the feeling of renewal. Maybe it's just that sweet, earthy aroma of melting and dirt, or just...
|
| |
|
| A Matter of Pride |
| 2008-04-22 22:18:40 |
BSD has always been a faithful, loyal and courageous ally to all of her sister blogs. While we do not always post in a timely matter, or that well, we take pride in our work and our relationships with those we have formed bonds with. Because of egregious disrespect paid to BSD by a blog that shall remain hitherto nameless in these pages, we our restructuring the blog alliance system. We do not do this lightly, but we have been far too patient and lenient up to this point. We can no longer put our interests aside for the betterment of others. We thank all of you who have been loyal. The others, you know who you are.The old order is no more...
|
| |
|
| Decision '08 |
| 2008-04-20 13:14:01 |
Who is BSD going to endorse in the upcoming election? Those wheels are in motion. The Brain Slug Party has been looking pretty good this year, but so far nothing is final. Any ideas? Who are you liking this year?cml...
|
| |
|
| I want to believe |
| 2008-04-10 15:43:33 |
A couple of months ago Biasman decided to get me all excited by lying to me about a new film, a sequel to the 1998 X-Files, X-Files 2. I don't know why he said this. I guess he's just a mean hearted kind of guy. Even the joking jab about another X-Files movie got me so excited that when I considered how unbelievable that FOX didn't cancel the series when it was on, and how unbelievable that there is a 1998 movie based on the series of course I didn't believe the news of the sequel. I was heart broken.Turns out Matt wasn't just having a go with me, for once he knew what he was talking about. I still don't know if I believe it. But there it is, and I want to believe it. Matt and I are both big X-Files fans, though for the most part we have contrasting opinions ab...
|
| |
|
| State of the Blog 3 |
| 2008-04-06 15:35:15 |
Well, it's been a year, so I figured it'd be a good time for another of these addresses to the readers. Thanks everyone for all the comments, they were amazing and really made me remember why I write on here. Things have been a bit slow lately, but they should be picking up near the end of April. Finals are coming up, so I'm sure Caleb and I will be bogged down in them. Already, I'm doing this when I should be reading Rousseau.Up at the moment is my first attempt at a banner, I think I did a pretty good job all things considered, though I can't figure out how to get the damn thing centered.I put up some testimonials that I gleaned from the comments section of the blog. If you want to claim one of the anonymous ones, go ahead, but we're going to need DNA...
|
| |
|
| New Year's Promises |
| 2008-04-06 15:23:46 |
Since Caleb recently went over our first year, I figured with New Year's Day coming soon, I'd share with you a couple of resolutions for BSD for the year double aught eight.First, I'd like to say that I have a few posts of substance planned and they will be coming out fairly soon (most likely after the first).In addition, we promise to give you more Star Wars, Superman and sleepy Dr. Robotnik's.There will also be more content about T.Rex, unicorns and Guy Fawkes.Lastly, I'd just like to say that BSD will be here in another year and hopefully just as good as it has been.Any suggestions, just leave us a comment or send an e-mail....
|
| |
|
| Happy Birthday |
| 2008-03-29 16:46:40 |
Here it is, Blast Shield Down is turning 1 today. We’re into digits. Oh beyond 0. There are stories about where this blog came from, some say Matt’s shower, other’s say he and I watched a Lamaze video and BSD just accidentally popped out, but if you want to know the simple honest truth about it you can be content with hearing it came from Michigan (where there’s no room for Jules Vern here, Biasman I’m sure you’d agree.) We’re 1 year old and I can’t tell if it’s really felt that long or much longer. In a way I think BSD has always existed between Matt and myself, the only difference now is that we’re writing it all down and putting it up here for everyone else to see. And I’d like to thank everyone who has been here to see it. I know that in the year this has be...
|
| |
|
| Robot Sex |
| 2008-03-20 20:48:29 |
I came across his old article from MSNBC.com the other day and it got me thinking... Honestly, it got me thinking about several things, mostly the psychological impact of falling in love and marrying a robot would have on someone. Seriously... that can't be healthy. Humans are social creatures and need to interact with other humans, no? Do you really want to marry something that is programmed to be perfect for you? Then again, if someone cannot find someone to love, isn't it better that they have something rather than being horribly lonely? Or what is the robot was programmed prior to you falling in love with it? Would that be okay?I could go on about that aspect of the issue for a while, but I'm really not sure I know the answer. So instead of waxin...
|
| |
|
| Fences |
| 2008-03-10 15:17:33 |
Once you have a fence you can’t really get ride of it easily. I’ve been trying to think of a way that you could, but I can’t. I think that’s because no fence is really yours. It’s your fence, but also three other peoples’ fence too. Whoever lives next to you, on either side, owns part of your fence, and the same with the person living behind you. The gate is yours, the rest of it is only partially yours, a fraction yours, a third. And like anti-ballistic missiles in a peace agreement no one wants to get ride of their fence first. And in fact with a fence you can’t. Maybe if you convinced your neighbors on all three sides to take their part of the fence down with you, had mutual permission to remove the fencing from around your property a person could do away with fence...
|
| |
|
| Halloween, Part two |
| 2008-03-02 00:03:41 |
...continued...When I was in middle and elementary school I’d trick or treat with Sean Anderson and my older brother would go out with his older brother, Bret. Sean and I were really good friends for a long time. Through kindergarten and most of elementary school Sean and his brother would come over for Halloween. We’d spend the whole afternoon running around the backyard, digging through the basement and pulling up weird toys and play weapons to bash around with. Just as it would start to get dark Sean and I would pull out a bin of old clothes, torn up shirts and knotted neck ties, old blue jeans with paint and fake blood smeared all over them. I never really knew what we were those Halloweens; sometimes zombies, sometimes scientists, sometime...
|
| |
|
| Halloween, Part one |
| 2008-02-17 22:42:00 |
When I was young, very young, I dressed up as Superman for every Halloween. Understand though that when I saw “ young†I mean before Superman suits had fake muscle chest, but also before I had memories. When I was young and all of my thoughts were framed through my father's camera and slid projector I dressed as Superman for Halloween. I do have one genuinely honest memory from those Halloweens though, I remember my mother knelling down in front of me and pulling my curl down over my forehead, just like Superman’s. We were in the hallway of our old house, at the bottom of the stairs, standing on the long rug that ran between the bathroom and the playroom. The bathroom shone a glorious white. White lighting, and yellow light bulbs...
|
| |
|
| All Filler |
| 2008-02-11 21:56:04 |
...compliments of the Portland Mercury "~cockbag...tilde...bang~"Generic Ass...
|
| |
|
| Dämmerung |
| 2008-02-08 13:06:25 |
A friend once told me that one day I would be in a relationship that made me realize how one really was supposed to be. That, sadly enough, I would actually understand how they work, how I work… understand that I was… happy. That idea bounced about in my head for weeks, months, maybe even longer, my mind, my heart, my soul mulling it over, fighting it, alternately embracing and rejecting that notion. That silly, profound notion of happiness. In the end she was right, I’m sure of it, though I’m not quite sure if I know it yet. It has always seemed to me that the beginning of relationships are the easiest… they are the most awkward and worrisome, but they are also the most exciting and simple periods. I think that once you get past that, you really...
|
| |
|
| Apartment A2 |
| 2008-02-05 17:53:06 |
My first apartment had bumpy, uneven floors and a tick in the walls. I was living in the old apartment when she broke up with me. The second night I spent there she and I went around the apartment and had sex in every one of its rooms. This was before I’d even gotten any furniture moved in. My bed would remain on the floor where I first dropped it for the entirety of my time living there. We had sex in every room that night: mine, the closet, the living room, even my roommates room, right next to the frame of his bed, a cold painted steel frame leaning against the wall. She was on all fours and I was on my knees too, right where he’d eventually put his bed, right next to his picture of Jesus. She sat on the ledge in front of the sink ...
|
| |
|
|
| Super Friends |
| 2008-01-28 23:15:39 |
I found this and started missing all of my super friends. This is for you guys. Matt, I hope your trip went well. John, I'm sorry I missed you last time, but next time we'll rocket. Paul, thanks for posting again. KB, thanks for the Gatorade.CML...
|
| |
|
| William Carlos Williams |
| 2008-01-20 11:31:15 |
"so much dependsupon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the whitechickens."Seriously... that's supposed to mean something? That's supposed to be deep and influential? I'm supposed to sit here for hours and ponder the sophisticated meaning? No, fuck that. You're not cute, William Carlos Williams. Go take your wheelbarrow shaped couplets and your chickens and learn from a real poet....
|
| |
|
| Liberal Media Bias |
| 2008-01-15 17:49:17 |
I have always stayed away from politics here, and I’m not sure why… it’s not because I’m scared of stirring up controversy or driving readers away. I don’t really care, and I’ve always spoken my mind about everything else here. Maybe it’s just the fact that politics really annoy the fuck out of me. They are exciting at times, I suppose, but only if you get to the root of the matter, not the smoke that the media and politicians are trying to blow up everybody’s ass. It’s really hard for me to care about a candidate when I don’t ever feel like I know their real views, just what they think will get them elected. I guess I can’t even blame them; honestly, it’s simply the political culture that America has fostered. But before this ...
|
| |
|
| License Plates |
| 2008-01-09 21:02:49 |
I overreact about a lot of things... I don't know why. I think maybe I hate change, I think I might just be that unstable. I probably should chose my battles better, I suppose I should let the little things go, but I can't...The State of Michigan is issuing new license plates to everyone for some reason (no, I don't give a fuck what their reason is), and I just got mine in the mail. It's plain... blue characters on a white background. It says Michigan and something else, I don't know... I don't care. It's stupid. Why would they give us a license plate that looks just like Ontario's? Ontarians are the only people who even visit Michigan on a regular basis! As for the other option... with the green city/tree scape a...
|
| |
|
| Cookies |
| 2008-01-06 12:56:47 |
If only everything could be so simple... I need this after today....
|
| |
|
| Opposable Thumbs |
| 2008-01-06 12:55:07 |
Okay... this is late... really, really late, but it's finals week and, well... here you are.Once again, I was in Comp and bored out of my mind. My Prof was going over something about the next essay or something, but I couldn't bring myself to pay attention. He constantly just rambles on about the same things, sort of like I do, I suppose, but I like to think I'm more interesting. I saw the following on The Colbert Report a while ago, I have no idea when the episode aired because it was recorded on my DVR, but apparently Al Gore is cuter than Bitsy. War! According to Washington Monthly, the SEC sucks. Of course, I always knew this about the SEC and the south in general, but it’s nice to be vindicated. Score one for the Midwest! Also, The M Zone on the awesome speed and competi...
|
| |
|
| Bowels of Mercy |
| 2008-01-06 12:54:45 |
This week has been rather hectic with finals and final papers to write. While doing a research paper on Guy Fawkes Day, I came across this article in the New York Times:". . . for they are bowels of mercy . . ."...
|
| |
|
| Zork |
| 2008-01-06 12:54:15 |
When I was a kid, I bought some sort of PC game magazine that normally came with a CD of demo games. I really have no idea what magazine it was anymore, but the issue I happened to pick up contained a CD not of demos, but full games from I don’t know how many years ago. I spent hours upon hours playing Red Baron, Wolfenstein, etc, etc… and of course Zork. The CD came with Zork I, II, and III, though I only ever really played the first one much. I figured I should beat that before going on to the sequels. While, I never got nearly that far, I did have my only experience with text based games, which apparently people played back before graphics or something like that… Let me just say, it was a weird game and probably not something most of you want to play, but it was kinda co...
|
| |
|
| Super Smash Bros. Jibberish |
| 2008-01-06 12:52:46 |
Sorry posting has been so light lately. I blame Winter break, girlfriends and the fact that instead of doing any blog work Caleb and I would just sit in my basement and talk about how to build a tiny Battlestar out of Legos, which super heroes we would be if we were super heroes or play Vectorman. I promise I will finish the design changes in the next couple of days and that I'll post more now that classes are starting. But for now... This is the last part of our Super Smash Bros. feature. Caleb and I, along with Paul from Careful with that Blog, Eugene decided it would be a good idea to get into a chat and ramble on about video games, Winston Churchill and a variety of other things that I'm sure you don't want to listen to. Anyway, we thought it was funny, and while it is insanely long,...
|
| |
|
| |
 |
|
| |
| |
|
 |