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Statistics |
| Unique Visitors: 0 |
| Total Unique Visitors: 1713 |
| Visitors Out: 2719 |
| Total Visitors Out: 3050 |
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| Ben Seni Unutamamki |
| 2008-07-01 21:42:00 |
İlk busenin tadı dudaklarımdaSöylediğin şarkı kulaklarımdaMutluluk yaşları yanaklarımdaDururken beni unutamamkiİçimde verdiğin tüm mutluluklarKalbimde aşkının pınarı çağlarİsmini ruyada bile sayıklarDururken ben seni unutamamkiRuhumu okşayan tatlı hislerinDudağımda hala dudak izlerinGönlümde hülyalı yeşil gözlerinDururken ben seni unutamamkiOrhan Altınbaşak30 Aralık 2001 Köln...
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| Yok |
| 2008-06-29 22:37:00 |
Anladım ki derdimin cihanda çaresi yok.Benden başka kimsenin boyle bir yaresi yok.Nerde o sevdiklerim, hani bir tanesi yok.Şu perişan gönlümden daha viranesi yok.Bu alemde sevdanın aşkın biganesi yok.Sevgisiz gönül olmaz, bunun bahanesi yok.Sevmekten sevilmekten daha sahanesi yok.Sevda nedir bilmeyen kuldan divanesi yok.Hayat sevgiyle güzel, başka ifadesi yok.Sevgi alıp satılmaz, hiç bir sermayesi yok.Gönüldür onun yeri, başka bir adresi yok.Sevgi yalnız verilir, onun iadesi yok.Orhan Altınbaşak2 Nisan 2002 Köln...
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| Keith Berger Criterium 30+ |
| 2008-06-29 13:41:00 |
Good news today!I went right from the gun. Never saw the field again. Took the first prime. Got in the early break of 9 with 22 left to go. Whittled down to 5 of us with 15 to go. I got a little tired and had to let the other 4 roll away from me, but I kept my head down for about 6 laps solo. I couldn't risk blowing up so I kept it steady. Two chasers caught up to me (Patrick Ruane and another) and we drilled it nice and easy to the end. I had the final sprint for 5th in the bag but I pulled out of my right pedal with about 100m to go. Clipped back in and buried myself, threw the bike and took 2nd in the sprint, 6th overall, out of 41 finishers. Patrick was 7th by a hair (after leading it out for the last lap)Finally a decent result! I'm happy. This feels good for a change. Thanks for read...
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| You never truly realize.. |
| 2008-06-28 18:52:00 |
How losing a parent knocks you on your ass, how fucking heart breaking and isolating it feels, and how much you will miss those departed, until it happens to you. Nothing can prepare you for that hollow empty feeling of loss, the unpredictable and spontaneous fits of crying, the opposite of happiness that overcomes you in crushing waves.. Such loss also reveals things you could not see before.. Stuff you don't want to acknowledge, truths which you refuse to accept.Ask yourself why you love to do "x" activity so much. The obvious answers eclipse the real answer..and when the real answer is no more, the obvious ones are suddenly not so compelling. Enough said?The late irfan Altinbasak is on the far left....
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| Zindan oldu hayat bana |
| 2008-06-26 22:09:00 |
Zindan oldu hayat bana, inan gideli,Hasretınle yana yana, oldum divane deli.Kaç yıl oldu beni yalnızlığa mahkum edeli.Hala mı ödenmedi o, bir günahın bedeli.Orhan Altınbaşak31 Mart 1998 Köln...
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| Sanadır |
| 2008-06-25 22:07:00 |
Sanadır yazdığım bütün şiirlerBazan güfte olur şarkılarımaSazımın telınden akan nağmelerKarışır dökülen gözyaşlarımaSanadır yaptığım bütün bestelerSensin ilham veren duygularımaHasretin ruhumu saran gecelerSüzülüp girersin rüyalarımaSanadır gönlümde olan sevgilerYaslan şu hasretle yanan bağrımaKalbim yalnız senın aşkını dilerNe olur bir ses ver çağrılarımaOrhan Altınbaşak24 Ocak 2001 Köln...
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| A New Feature at Amerikan Turk: Poetry by Orhan Altinbasak |
| 2008-06-25 21:41:00 |
Yes lately this blog is about as popular as visiting your oral surgeaon or proctologist, and for this I'm regretful. The past 30 days have sucked balls.. all of my regular readers will tell you. But I'm turning over a new leaf. While in Turkey last month, I met with my Father's eldest brother Orhan, who is an accomplished poet, singer and song writer. He has self-published two books of poetry and until now, I was hesitant to share his work with you, my readers. Well, as luck would have it, he is thrilled with the idea of having a regular contribution here which includes one of his poems. The frequency is up in the air, but let's begin with one and then I'll play it by ear. Before I begin though- I need to figure out how to ...
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| I would love to have such a plate: WTF! |
| 2008-06-25 21:39:00 |
This pales in comparison to the 'PKK' plate which were being given out in Rhode Island a few years back. I was given one at the DMV and asked for a different plate for my car on the spot....
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| The worst of times, the best.. |
| 2008-06-20 20:36:00 |
..Of times. Today marks a new low in Murat's morale. For the first time in my career, I am told by a customer that they do not want me managing their project. Said customer is a project manager for a general contractor, and he is Lebanese just like his employer. You might think that a Turk a Lebanese would hit off swimmingly.. But it's not to be. This guy has gone out of his way to let me know he doesn't like me, and he hasn't hesitated to throw me under the bus at every possible opportunity.
Needless to say, I cut out of work an hour early for the Croatia match, which obviously lifted my spirits immensely, by the end. As I watched the game, almost a full bottle of wine disappeared, I was so down.. By the end of the penalty kicks I was drinking for joy, not sorrow. Then I suited up and went out for a 90 minute easy spin. Yes I was RWI.. Riding while intoxicated. Felt pretty good too. I was all over the place emotionally, at times laughing about the soccer game and other...
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| Nobody cares.. |
| 2008-06-18 14:15:00 |
The world doesn't stop for a death in the family. I'm falling apart yet I'm expected to perform 100 percent at work. I can't do it. I can't stop thinking about him. This is harder than I ever imagined.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Harlem Crit Race Report |
| 2008-06-15 15:02:00 |
70 starters on a narrow bumpy soaking wet course.. 37 finishers.Murat is a lucky 18th. How I made it through that carnage without laying it down- a miracle. Murat loses his nerve when people are kissing the asphalt all around him. That I let myself get swarmed with 1/2 lap to go sucks balls, but I have all my skin so I live to race another day.In the Cat 3 race which followed- 79 starters and 73 finishers- the road dried out nicely. More later. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Happy Father's Day! |
| 2008-06-15 07:00:00 |
Take that, Hallmark! Blackberry wins. No trip to the drugstore, no overpriced greeting card, no messy ink, no postage cost, and never delivered late. Just point, click, send.I love you guys too!...
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| German Graffiti? |
| 2008-06-13 22:26:00 |
Found in a men's room of the Frankfurt Airport:And this pearl of wisdom was found in the Turkish airport bathroom: Explain that one to me please....
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| No Service up here |
| 2008-06-10 09:33:00 |
7:50 pm: I feel like Forest gump must have felt when he suddenly decided to stop running. Now what?..8:15 pm: Looks like dinner is being served. People belly ache about airline food. I like it. Each meal is a challenge: to try and finish everything without wasting any of it- hard to do. There's always something on the tray which sucks.. Why don't they ever serve soup on airplanes? Just curious. More than six hours until we land. For me, it will be the same as 2:30 am. By the time I drive home and get to bed it will be 4:30 my time.. (9:30 Eastern) I'm expected at work tomorrow. Chicken Curry has arrived.8:44 pm: there's so much to look forward to.. After these six hours are through that is.. After making my inflight meal disappear I felt a wave of happiness poured down on m...
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| 15-1/2 hours.. |
| 2008-06-08 14:45:00 |
Until my flight to Frankfurt.The past two weeks seem like a bad dream. I still can't believe my Father is gone. I haven't had any emotional breakdowns since the funeral- the day that I more or less cried all day. I leave for home tomorrow by myself while dear wife and son stay behind for five extra weeks. I'm pre-registered for 16 criteriums in four weekends, so I have my work cut out for me.. Not to mention all the unsolvable knots I need to untangle when I return to work- two weeks away from a construction position is an eternity.It's gonna be an interesting summer.. But.. I feel lost, as though my North Star has been extinguished. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Be Home Soon |
| 2008-06-07 17:04:00 |
It's a shame that I was too naïve to realize until now that "Most people are Dicks", applies no matter what country you're in. Our car is extra filthy, in spite of the rains which have fallen recently. You can buy a cup of boiled corn-off-the-cob at the mall for 6 YTL.. What does that cost them? Ten cents? Armani t-shirts for $219.. Lacoste polo shirts for $239.. Crappy Chinese made Nine West stuff for about 10x what we pay in the US.. A walk through Turkey's malls is an exercise in gratitude for the cheap prices we pay for premium stuff at our outlet centers, TJ Maxx and Marshalls.. My wife's DKNY t-shirt which she paid $15 for: found at the mall here for 120 YTL (about 100$) who can afford this stuff? And even so, who is retarded enough to pay this much? Show me who and I will show you an insecure and hollow shell of a person who deserves to be slapped hard.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Long climb up Uludag |
| 2008-06-07 10:34:00 |
Distance to top: 20 milesVertical Rise: 5400 feet Duration to top: 2:09Rained almost the whole way up!Only a 5 percent average grade, but after 10 miles of climbing, 5 percent starts to feel like 10.. I recorded the elevation profile with the Polar. Brother followed me up in the car. We have pictures which I'll post next week.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Steep Climbing |
| 2008-06-03 14:58:00 |
Went out at 8 am this morning.. No real plan except to go for 3-4 hours and include some 30 second intervals at CP6 with 30 sec spin recoveries.. The wind took me in the direction of Mudanya, which makes no sense because the wind was blowing hard off the water.. Went up the 3 mile climb of "Old Mudanya Road", with views that never fail to make my jaw drop. The descent into Mudanya sucks balls- the road is rough as hell- making it impossible to gain any speed. Need full suspension for that. Where the old road meets the main highway, we go straight and head into Guzelyali/Burgaz.. Which takes me past my Uncle Orhan's house as the road winds it's way along the coast towards the town of Kursunlu. As luck would have it, my uncle's wife was out on the front porch. She's 70 and didn't recognize m...
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| Pay 10 times more in Turkey |
| 2008-06-02 05:43:00 |
We just saw a hard side Samsonite suitcase in a classy mall store- same as we bought at TJ Maxx for $80..Price in Turkey: 795 YTL (about $700)I told the sales girl and she rambled on about how this one was the lightest in the world blah blah.. Whoever buys that thing for 795 YTL should be skinned alove for their idiocy.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Training Day |
| 2008-06-01 13:39:00 |
Going to skip forward a few days and just tell you about my club ride this morning with 30 other Bursa cyclists. Only about 7 or 8 road bikes and the rest were all mountain bikes. We took a main highway- six lanes wide- broad shoulder- completely open to the wind- you can see for miles and miles in all directions- long 2-3 mile big ring climbs that rise gently enough, but which grind you to dust and have you wanting so badlly to drop it into the little ring and ride like a weenie. This road hurts. We were on this highway for quite a while, strung out at times in groups of 2 and 3 and 4.. Per my resolution of a few days earlier, I had my game face on and pounded everyone into submission on every climb, stringing them out single file until 300m before the top, and then accelerating over the ...
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| Friday Funerals are the Best.. |
| 2008-05-30 05:01:00 |
..Is what people keep telling me.. And that my Father is very lucky and very loved by the Big Guy for this reason. We've been to City Hall, we've ordered the food and drink for 100 people.. We went to the cemetary and picked a spot.. We (ten of us) carried him down the stairs from the third floor in a casket.. We took him to the mosque where he was bathed one final time- and yes of course I insisted on being present and helping out.. Now he's back in the casket, staged in front of the mosque (which is not a casket in a true sense- it's used only for transport) as brother and I wait for Friday prayers to end. When they do, people will flood out and surround the casket and pray some more. After that it's a short trip to the cemetary, where everyone who wasn't here at ...
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| Thank you.. |
| 2008-05-29 23:04:00 |
.To everyone who is reaching out to me on the blog comments as well as privately. I've given up on answering everyone individually, for now. I'm blown away and eternally grateful.We're about to leave to go and choose a site for Father at the Mudanya cemetary. He loved it here by the ocean. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| After |
| 2008-05-29 19:51:00 |
It's 2am. We planted a few seeds and news spread like wildfire. Before you know it, phones are ringing like crazy, the doorbell is chiming non stop, and people are flooding the house to pay their respects. I'm tired- laying down in the same room as Father's body. He's covered head to toe. His two big toes are tied together and a strip of cloth is tied around his head and chin to keep his mouth closed. The balcony door is wide open and the room is chilled. We have pepsi bottles in the freezer which will soon be ready for use as ice packs to keep Father cool long enough to carry him to a mosque in the morning for cleansing and preparation for burial. Per islamic requirements, he must be in the ground before sundown the following day. Tomorrow after morning prayers, a short in...
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| A new day |
| 2008-05-29 02:15:00 |
It's windy enough this morning that there are little whitecaps all over the water, which we have a clear of, from father's apartment balcony.He's hanging in there. I told him repeatedly that my brother will be here today. His breathing is getting labored. He hasn't taken any food or drink in the last 40 hours because every drop of food causes a gag reflex and a fit of coughing on phlegm that has nested in his throat. He used to be able to clear it and spit but not anymore. The IV doesn't work either- it goes for ten minutes and then backs up and blood is everywhere. His veins are all shot from the chemo treatments.We're just "getting ready" for the inevitable at this point. I'm emotionally drained. Last night I sat with him and told him I love him very...
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| 45 minute spin |
| 2008-05-28 14:13:00 |
That's all. Barely 100 watts. Rode past my uncle's waterfront summer condo in Burgaz, which he has owned forever. Nobody home, or at least I assume so- no Opel parked out front with German plates. Even if he was home, I'm not sure if I would have stopped. And if I had, I'm not sure if I would have been very nice to him. He's the oldest of 7 siblings, and he hates my father for a variety of reasons.. Mainly because my father insulted him while in a drunken stupor.. Ironic thing is: When my two teenage uncles used to sneak around getting drunk, my 12 year old father was a witness. Determined to keep him quiet about it, they would pass him drinks too, in return for his silence. And so begins the story of my father's alcoholism. Fast forward 50 years and we find my fath...
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| Hondas in disguise |
| 2008-05-28 02:58:00 |
No Accords in Turkey- it's called Legend here. The economical Honda Fit is called the Jazz for whatever reason. Also, I'm seeing a Land Rover Freelander everywhere I turn. I can barely afford to lease one back home.. How do these poor poor Turks afford them here? There's a 100 percent tax on imports.. And limited financing options. You think you're the shit because you leased an LR2 with no money down and can afford to fill up for $4 a gallon? Take a pill. Get over yourself. The vehicle and the fuel is more than double the cost here, while the Median income is only about $1400 a monthn probably a lot less. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Day three |
| 2008-05-27 03:44:00 |
I think I'm losing weight in sympathy for my dad. Eating less.. Riding lots. And climbing galore. Can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a ball-busting climb.. Later today I'll go out of Mudanya on the main highway with my Polar and get the altitude profile for later. I'm guessing that it climbs about 600 feet in 2-1/2 miles. The other day I climbed it without stressing myself too much, but it turns out that I pushed hard enough that my bar tape unraveled on the tops.. Tonight I'll be meeting up with one of the local Masters for a ride together. His name's Zafer. We tried to rendezvous last night (my 2nd ride of the day) but I took some wrong turns and it didn't work out. In the morning I went out by bike to meet my wife at her mom's house. Since...
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| Mudanya-Bursa |
| 2008-05-25 18:51:00 |
Are separated by 30 km.. I assembled the bike today determined to get back on track. Did not ride this past Mon-Tues-Thurs-Fri-Sat so today was a shock to the system. Headed out in the afternoon heat.. In the direction of Bursa.. Mudanya is the equivalent of Newport.. It's a seaside town about 1/2 hour drive from Bursa/Providence.. There's only two ways out, both from the same road. One requires you to climb a 3 mile hill on a windswept state highway with terribly heavy chip/seal asphalt. The other road is the "old" Mudanya road- used for ages before the highway was built. It climbs for about 4 miles to a higher elevation, switching back and forth through olive orchards until you reach a point where the views are so breath taking that you may as well be looking from the s...
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| Apologies.. |
| 2008-05-25 14:10:00 |
I'm delivering lots of bad news and I feel badly for being such a Buzz Killington..Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Sunday morning |
| 2008-05-25 10:16:00 |
Im wearing the same clothing as yesterday- slept in them. Suitcase and bike are still unpacked. Brought a nurse in who helped put an IV on my father's wrist. We're giving him some serum with sugar and b-c vitamins. We've more or less given up on using modern plumbing.. Will he come around? Stand on his own ever again? Eat? This is hard.. But it could be a lot harder.. If father were awake, we might see and hear and know how he really feels. His unintelligible whispering and blank face expression makes it easy for us.. It hides his pain and his fear- the two things I can't bear to witness.. I fell apart completely last night when I first saw him. My next meltdown will be when I see him cry or wince in pain. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry...
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| Nothing left to do |
| 2008-05-24 13:36:00 |
We've been at my father's house for all of 90 minutes. It's 8:50 pm Saturday May 24th. Moments ago I sent my wife to go stay at her mom's with my son. None of us have slept in the past 24 hours, unless numerous 5 minute episodes of passing out in the airplane count..I do not recognize my father's appearance.. And in his incoherence I have doubts about whether he recognizes me. The shock and awe of seeing his wife carry him to the bathroom heimlich style.. Paled in comparison to the moment they emerged from the bathroom.. And father's legs gave out... The same legs that raced bikes 45 years ago.. And I lifted his weak and crumpled body from the floor the way that a father carries his slumbering 5 year old child and I carried him to his bed, for a moment astonished at...
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| Greetings from Frankfurt |
| 2008-05-24 00:23:00 |
Three hour layover until our flight to Istanbul starts boarding. Gotta love Lufthansa!! They took the bike case without asking for an extra dime.. Of course it might be because we are entitled to 6 suitcases and only had 4.. The bike case was the lightest piece too.. Maybe they'll nail me on the return leg.. We're docked at a table and chairs in front of a panoramic view of the airfield. It's pretty awesome. The Airbus ride here was six hours, and that plane was huge.. You take a flight of stairs down to the toilets. Private Lcds in front of every seat.. You choose your own movie, cartoon or sitcom. I was seated next to a 350 pound mouth-breather who cursed at my son in German when he accidentally kicked the guy.. I didn't take offense. Germans usually do not seem to be cra...
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| It's about time! |
| 2008-05-12 05:46:00 |
High Gas Prices mean more Bike Sales and RepairsIt's funny- the price of gas in Turkey is about $8-9 a gallon, yet most adults look upon a bicycle as a toy, not as an optional mode of transportation. People are more likely to buy a noise-polluting 50cc scooter than a bicycle.. and never a helmet of course.....
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| Who do you miss? |
| 2008-05-09 21:20:00 |
You can miss someone whose side you left moments ago. You can miss someone who you haven't seen in a while, or for a very long time. Me. I miss my brother, sister, father, mother.. to be more specific... I miss the times when the five of us were together under one roof. laughing. sleeping. fighting. eating. whispering. shouting. I mourn the end of those days.. however painful.. or sad.. or turbulent.. I mourn the loss of that unity.. the different flight plans of our lives. It's tragic that five family members can be so polarized.. misunderstood.. separate. It's been an emotional period for me, these past few weeks. I hold it together while in the presence of friends, family, co workers.. but occasionally I fall apart like a house of cards.. I let go. I'm overwhelmed. I'm forced to stop a...
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| 17 days.. |
| 2008-04-26 22:37:00 |
..since I last bothered to post something here.. and I'm really tired of seeing Little Miss Janus.. aren't you? I'm the worst blogger ever!.. until you consider that most of the blogging action these days has been over at www.bisikletcimurat.blogspot.com and www.m1racing.blogspot.com...
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| Baby with two faces worshipped as Goddess.. |
| 2008-04-08 23:38:00 |
.. but completely freaking me out.. I don't know whether to feel pity for her or for myself. Those of us who are free of such deformities- with everything in it's place- we dishonor our perfection and take so much for granted that it sickens me.Lali has a rare condition known as craniofacial duplication, where a single head has two faces. Full Story on CNN In other news.. did you read about the two year old girl beaten to death with a game conroller clenched in the hand of a 26 year old in York, PA? His 19 year old girlfriend, mother of the two year old, couldn't be bothered to notice the painful screeching or intervene. Please lock them both up and lose the key. CNN Story...
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| Olympic Torch Bearers attacked on Galata Bridge |
| 2008-04-04 22:54:00 |
Turkish riot police detain an unidentified man who tried to attack the torch bearer as Chinese security members (in blue) secure the torch bearer during the Olympic torch relay over Galata Bridge in Istanbul April 3, 2008. The motive of the attack was not known immediately. REUTERS/Fatih Saribas...
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| "Ground Control" by Achmet Ogut |
| 2008-04-04 22:53:00 |
A women walks over the artwork "Ground control" by Turkish artist Achmet Ogut made of 400 square meters of bitumen during the press preview of the 5th Berlin Biennial for contemporary art in Berlin April 3, 2008. The show called 'When Things Cast No Shadow' is exhibiting international contemporary artists in four locations in the capital and will be open to the public from April 5. REUTERS/Fabrizio Bensch...
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| Gray Wolf: Still endangered? |
| 2008-03-28 23:45:00 |
Gray Wolves aren't very popular anymore.. Do you like Gray Wolves? Maybe not.. but if you were under attack from three different sides you might pray for a Gray Wolf to come and fight for you.....
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| He's going the distance.. he's going for speed.. |
| 2008-03-28 08:21:00 |
Funny song.. Long week, but it went by fast! Here we are on Friday.. and with rain threatening all week, it's a surprise that I managed to commute to work by bike every singe day (including today!) I am very happy about that. Happiness for me usually involves doing things I don't feel like doing, but which I know I must do.. Discipline. Keeping promises to myself. All tricked out in my new bike uniforms, I feel pretty good. The whole team looks great. Looking good is a part of feeling good, no denying that.. or at least that the reverse is true. Selling kid's bikes! We're going to grow this business if it kills us. Lots of incredible ideas and plans have been developing behind the scenes between dear wife and I. The "blogsite was updated recently, mainly to announce the arriva...
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