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| Articles about English Courtesan |
| The English Courtesan's Wordless Wednesday | | 2008-08-20 16:10:00 | | There weren’t meant to be any words on today’s post but, this being the first of a few more Wordless Wednesdays, the English Courtesan feels an explanation might be due. Wordless Wednesdays is a blog idea that the English Courtesan purloined from that Genius of A Saucy Redhead...The Redhead knows not, as yet, of the English Courtesan’s bold theft, but the English Courtesan is linking to her here by way of a virtual tug at her ribbon tie panties. Wordless Wednesdays is a stroke of creative and scandalously lazy blog genius whereby the photo tells the readers what you don’t have time to blog about.Soooo, my lovelies, that sounds like a clue as to the English Courtesan’s whereabouts or whatabouts or whomabouts tonight. What does this Wordless Wednesday photo tell the readers about what the English Courtesan doesn’t have time to blog about? Guesses on a postcard in the comment box… ;-)P.S. The English Courtesan is still pondering the Chevalier’s tag. If she’s a good girl ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | No Swimming With The English Courtesan? | | 2008-08-16 17:17:58 | | The English Courtesan was going to stay in today and write her post in response to a tag from the beautiful blue Chevalier which you can read here...The English Courtesan was thrilled to be tagged by one so blithe and bonny and the tag was a salient reminder of Important Things, as the readers will see when the English Courtesan writes that blog post on Wednesday.Sometimes the English Courtesan is a very easily distracted creature though. She was actually on her way home to write the blog when suddenly the sun came out from behind the clouds.Then the English Courtesan saw this sign. Oh dear! On a warm weekend, that little crossed out swimmer with the smiley face was just too much for the English Courtesan.Click on the photo to make it bigger and you'll see what the English Courtesan means about the smiley face. The sign says 'no swimming' but it doesn't mention 'no smiley skinny dipping', does it? ;-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, independent courtesan, escort, escorts, York... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan & The Bung Hole | | 2008-08-13 16:16:09 | | The English Courtesan is away from her desk so the readers are invited to participate in another truly mindless quiz. Today the English Courtesan is on a mission to clean up the readers' filthy minds and introduce them to the joys of oenology.Hence the photo. What did the readers think the English Courtesan was referring to when she said the word ‘bunghole’?Incidentally the prize for best web restaurant review this week goes to James Bannerman whose comment on the Bung Hole on London-eating.co.uk was ‘My girlfriend loves it in the Bung Hole. It is lovely and snug, everyone should try it.’ The English Courtesan can’t be entirely sure what James Bannerman was referring to but she feels he should get some type of award for taking the time to share his predilections on the world wide web. As perhaps should his girlfriend.So today's quiz from the English Courtesan is a thoroughly topical one. It’s not on that type of bunghole, for as the readers should know by now the English Co... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
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| The English Courtesan & The Hanged Man | | 2008-08-09 18:03:53 | | So that was Wednesday in the English Courtesan's world. This is Saturday. Despite appearances, it's actually a slight improvement... ;-)The English Courtesan finds this card oddly soothing. She thinks there are only two things you can't do anything about in this world: death and other people.This card, the Hanged Man from the 1909 Rider-Waite-Smith deck of Tarot cards, reminds the English Courtesan of the power of perception. There are plenty of things and plenty of people that the English Courtesan can't fix, however much she might want to. What the English Courtesan can fix, however, is her perspective.The Hanged Man reminded the English Courtesan tonight that sometimes the only way forward is to stop trying to fix things. Sometimes you just have to let go of the things you can't change.So slowly and painfully, and sometimes against her better judgement, the English Courtesan is doing a little letting go...Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, independent courtesan, escort, escorts... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan & The Tower | | 2008-08-09 06:51:19 | | Sometimes the English Courtesan thinks a picture speaks a thousand words. This is a picture of how the English Courtesan's world is looking today...The picture is from the 1909 Rider-Waite-Smith deck of Tarot cards. It is the Tower. It has been appearing in The English Courtesan's Tarot cards for weeks.There are some things that don't translate well into words. The English Courtesan thinks the readers will understand the picture. She doesn't think she'll get a chance to write any more today and it may take her a while to catch up with comments and emails.In the meantime though, for what it's worth, here is the view from the English Courtesan today.Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, independent courtesan, escort, escorts, Yorkshire escort, travel companion, exclusive travel companion, escort girl travel companion, call girl, call girls, independent call girl, Tarot, Tarot cards, antique Tarot cards, Waite Smith Tarot, Rider Waite Smith Tarot, The Tower, the English Courtesan, the E... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan Invites You To... | | 2008-08-02 12:27:24 | | After two long posts, it's undoubtedly time for one of the English Courtesan's super special quickies! She knows the readers are usually up for a quickie and the English Courtesan is never one to disappoint... ;-)It's the usual caption quiz so those of the readers who failed get their creative parts round the English Courtesan's melons might like to try this one instead.The readers are invited to complete the following phrase in no less than 100 words 'The English Courtesan's pictures of lovely round things make me think of...'.On that note, the sun is shining, there's a lawn to be mown and the English Courtesan must away to make hay! Of course that could be a euphemism, so the readers are also invited to speculate on exactly what the English Courtesan might be up today to in the comments box... :-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, independent courtesan, escort, escorts, Yorkshire escort, travel companion, exclusive travel companion, escort girl travel companion, call girl, call ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
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| On The English Courtesan's Mysterious Smirk... | | 2008-07-19 18:00:14 | | The English Courtesan is not a city lover as a general rule but today she looked up at a skyscraper and smiled. So the readers' challenge for today is to work out why the English Courtesan is looking peculiarly Sphinx-like...Is it because:a) The English Courtesan has been Up To No Good in this particular skyscraper?b) The sky behind the skyscraper matches the English Courtesan's blog colour?c) The English Courtesan is with someone who makes her smile?d) The English Courtesan knows something about this skyscraper that the readers probably don't?e) The English Courtesan is amused by the psychology of why 90% of architects in the city of XXXXXX are trying to build a skyscraper bigger than the boy next door's?f) The skyscraper reminds the English Courtesan of Carl Sandburg's Syscraper poem, 'By day the skyscraper looms in the smoke and sun and has a soul...'?g) The English Courtesan had something to do with the erection of this skyscraper (what did you all think she was going to say after ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan & The Macaroons | | 2008-07-16 11:29:28 | | The English Courtesan is away from her desk today but it just so happens that she's near a purveyor of the finest macaroons, hence the pert and peachy pair in the photo.Idle hands make mischief and all that, so today's quiz is an attempt to save the English Courtesan's wicked readers from themselves.In the name of vice avoidance then, the English Courtesan invites the readers to complete the following sentence no more than 20 words:'This photo of the English Courtesan's macaroons makes me think of....'.Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, courtesan companion, escort, escorts, independent escort, travel companion, amusing travel companion, escort travel companion, call girl, call girls, call girl for the weekend, macaroons, food, blogs, the English CourtesanThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | The English Courtesan Is Tagged! | | 2008-07-09 11:54:14 | | 'That's tagged', said the English Courtesan sternly to the sniggering readers. 'Tagged with a T. Not with an S. Okay?'The English Courtesan was delighted to be tagged by the lovely Madam Butterfly of Blissful Desires a few weeks ago. Those of the readers who have yet to meet The Madam might like to know she’s a tantric poet who reads T.S. Eliot.As you can see from the picture, which the English Courtesan purloined from her blog, Madam Butterfly also happens to be Top Totty and she gets a rating of Quite Kinky on the Kinkyness Test (see her blog for more on that). Not that the readers would be swayed by anything as shallow as boobies and kink now, would they? ;-)Today’s tag is all about things the readers never wondered about the English Courtesan. It appears to be a seven-lots-of-five-things variation on the six things tag which the English Courtesan did here and the seven things tag which the English Courtesan did here. Although it has taken her a while to respond, this tag appeal... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan's Six Random Things | | 2008-07-07 17:27:26 | | The English Courtesan is all of a flutter today because she’s been tagged by the Delectable Dolly Mopp of London! ‘Oh the honour, the honour!’ wept the English Courtesan lying prostrate before the Deliciousness of Dolly ‘The English Courtesan is not worthy!’.Dolly Mopp mopped the English Courtesan’s fevered brow. With a saucy and secretive smile and a brush of her bountiful bosoms, she whispered in the English Courtesan’s ear…no, sorry, that’s a story for another day isn’t it?Those of the readers who have yet to become acquainted with the Mistress of Moppery should hurry over to Dolly Mopp's online lair at once. She has an online Venetian boudoir and even a Victorian boudoir for the English Courtesan to read Victorian novels in! She wears shorts with a double breasted suit and tie! She has a guitar! ‘It’s all too beau-ti-ful!’ sang the English Courtesan through her sobs as Dolly Mopp spanked her with the guitar, gently and rhythmically.Today’s tag is six ran... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Where Is The English Courtesan This Weekend? | | 2008-07-07 17:12:32 | | The English Courtesan felt it was high time for another photo clue! As it's a sunny and warm weekend, though you might not be able to tell that from the picture, the English Courtesan is taking the risk of sending this in situ as it were... The readers are invited to guess as ever: where is the English Courtesan this weekend?To celebrate the unusually clement July weather, the English Courtesan is granting the readers a second clue. She's not actually in it but she's on the other side of the railings very close to it.If you're trying to spot which one is the English Courtesan, she's sitting on something stripey... ;-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, courtesan escort, escort, escorts, weekend escort, travel companion, international travel companion, escort travel companion, call girl, call girls, blogging call girl, clues, the English CourtesanThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | No Sushi From The English Courtesan! | | 2008-06-28 08:07:09 | | Whoops! Due to user error and Blogger problems, this blog post appeared and then disappeared again on Saturday. Luckily Blogger and the English Courtesan have got it together now... ;-)The English Courtesan is a little busy this weekend so she thought she'd offer the readers a multiple choice quiz by way of a lazy blog post.This one is based on the doorhanger in the photo, which the English Courtesan purloined from the deliciously twisted NoMonet. Click on the picture to make it bigger!The English Courtesan sees rather a lot of hotel doorhangers these days so she was amused by the geisha girl variation on the 'do not disturb' theme. What better way to frighten off housekeeping than to demonstrate how disturbed you already are?The English Courtesan's best hotel doorhanger find was somewhere in Spain where 'no molestar' was correctly translated as 'do not disturb' but the reverse side had the more interesting translation of 'service me'. Unfortunately that loses something in the retellin... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan's Bright Field | | 2008-06-11 17:57:19 | | The English Courtesan wanted to share a favourite poem with the readers today. She likes fields, which are the topic of this poem, but today's blog post is about more than that. Like all good poems, The Bright Field by R.S. Thomas made the English Courtesan look at something a little differently today...This poem reminded the English Courtesan to look at the things she takes for granted and to treasure them. Sometimes there's salvation in the little things.Perhaps the English Courtesan will share the full story with the readers one day, but for now she'll just enjoy the poem and she hopes they will too. The photo is a bright and beautiful field in Yorkshire, somewhere not too far away from the smiling English Courtesan...The Bright Field by R. S. ThomasI have seen the sun break throughto illuminate a small field for a while, and gone my wayand forgotten it. But that was the pearlof great price, the one field that had treasure in it. I realize nowthat I must give all that I have to poss... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Skinny Dipping With The English Courtesan | | 2008-06-11 14:24:48 | | 'I'm hot!' said the English Courtesan. 'Yes you are', said the Gentleman Suitor with a smirk, admiring the English Courtesan's slightly rosy cheeks... 'It's too hot for blogging' added the English Courtesan. 'Oh yes, much too hot!' agreed the Suitor, rather too quickly. 'Shall we find something else to do?'.And that is exactly what the English Courtesan and the Suitor did. There are times when even Yorkshire is warm enough for a little sunset skinny dipping... ;-)P.S. Replies to comments tomorrow - for tonight the English Courtesan is...ahem...leaving that to the readers' imagination...Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, international courtesan, escort, escorts, escort blog, travel companion, travel companions, Yorkshire travel companion, call girl, call girls, high class call girl, skinny dipping, Yorkshire, the English CourtesanThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | The English Courtesan brings you...Cock-A-Doodle! | | 2008-05-29 03:50:37 | | While the English Courtesan is catching up on sleep, she thought the readers ought to have something to play with. Other than themselves. So by way of a positively puritanical suggestion, at least by the English Courtesan’s usual filthy standards, how about a Cock-A-Doodle?This one's pretty much self-explanatory, at least to the English Courtesan. Get out the Cock-A-Doodle memo pad, bursting joyously with ready made men, pick up the suitably blue pencil provided, and put the bald bishop on the not-so-bald not-so-bishop.The English Courtesan was slightly unnerved by the fact that man number one on the Cock-A-Doodle memo pad bears a worrying resemblance to Jesus. However once she’d got over her Catholic guilt, she created some veritable masterpieces, à la Tracy Emin ‘all the people I’ve ever slept with’.Don’t like hairy men who look a bit like Jesus? Then send yours in the direction of the English Courtesan and choose one of the five other Cock-A-Doodle ‘designs’ to dood... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Where is the English Courtesan (complete with clippy thing)? | | 2008-05-24 17:13:40 | | Here is the clue, Part II! The good news is that the English Courtesan and the lost clippy sucky thing have been happily reunited. The bad news is that the English Courtesan is still a little tied up, as it were... ;-)So whilst they await her return to the bloggery, the readers are invited to guess the following: where might the English Courtesan and the clippy sucky thing be?Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, international courtesan, escort, escorts, escort blog, travel companion, travel companions, sensual travel companion, call girl, call girls, high class call girl, the English CourtesanThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | Where is the English Courtesan's clippy thing? | | 2008-05-21 10:58:34 | | 'No time!' squeaked the English Courtesan, hopping about like a mad thing looking for TomTom's clippy thing. 'No time for blogging! Must find the clippy thing! Who's got TomTom's clippy sucky thing?'.The English Courtesan hopes the readers will write in if they find the clippy sucky thing. They have exactly 7 minutes to do so. It's grey and round and it's the thing that sticks TomTom, AKA the sat nav, on the windscreen. The English Courtesan and TomTom have a long drive ahead of them tonight. They're getting a bit panicky at the thought of no clippy sucky thing.If the English Courtesan and TomTom can find their way there though, it'll be well worth the drive! Tonight is a rather exciting night. For the English Courtesan and TomTom are off to see the wizard. They're going to...No, not that silly...but until she finds the time to tell them all about it, here's a clue for the English Courtesan's devoted readers... ;-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, international courtesan, escort,... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan Wants Your Captions! | | 2008-04-17 07:15:57 | | 'Overtired' said the English Courtesan's mother with an irritatingly meaningful mother-knows-best look. 'Am not!' roared the English Courtesan, leaping up from the sofa in a convincingly sprightly fashion and falling over own silly feet. All of that at 7pm before a large dinner and a long drive home through a Yorkshire blizzard. Oh dear. Spring may have sprung but early mornings plus late nights have made the English Courtesan a decidedly dull girl of late. So tonight she's getting a virtuously early night on her ownsome.So until the English Courtesan comes back to take them in hand, as it were, the readers are invited to play along with her caption competition. Here is an astoundingly poor photo of something fuzzy, taken as ever by the English Courtesan's own fair hand. The readers are invited to a) suggest what it might be and b) come up with an appropriate caption.The winner of the English Courtesan's caption competition will get a free...ah no, the English Courtesan doesn't do free... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan's Six Word Memoir | | 2008-04-10 06:01:24 | | The English Courtesan was thrilled to be tagged by Tres Chère Juliette a few weeks ago to write a six word memoir. Those of the English Courtesan's readers who don't know Chère Juliette might like to know that she's the proud owner of the world's most enticing collection of saucy black and white photos... Juliette is also a lyrical writer and a practitioner of the midnight vices and she recently won the English Courtesan's prize for nice clean knickers. What better recommendation could there possibly be for a girl than to pass the English Courtesan's gym knicker inspection with such flying colours?Revenons à nos moutons...as well as liking Chère Juliette, the English Courtesan likes tags too as she's a bit of an overgrown child at heart. If the truth be told, the English Courtesan can be quite lazy and indolent and that's why she especially liked the idea of this tag. A six word memoir sounds like a nice easy blog post and the English Courtesan likes nice easy blog posts. Less time... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan - Making Your Jour A Bonheur... | | 2008-04-07 15:41:03 | | Never let it be said that the English Courtesan does not cater to her readers' every whims, for further to the comments on the Jane's Guide post, she has found them a particularly delightful antique Bonheur du Jour! What's more, it's coming up next week at a saleroom in Yorkshire near you (or maybe not) and it’s at what the English Courtesan thinks is a very fair price...read on...It may be catalogued as Victorian but the English Courtesan thinks this little gem is un tout petit peu Frenchy 19th century looking. The twin porcelain plaques, adorned with a pair of bewigged lovers, are set into two doors, which conceal velvet-lined shelves. The superstructure of the Bonheur du jour sits beneath a coved top and is adorned by gilt metal escutcheons and beading and what appear to be caryatides (that’s naked ladies with big boobies to you, although the English Courtesan can’t be sure as the photo is a little fuzzy). The base of the Bonheur du Jour has an elegant frieze drawer, a shapely... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan Is Original & Quality! | | 2008-03-29 14:08:01 | | Oh yes, it's time for another round of unbearable smugness today - Jane says the English Courtesan is quality and original! Oh lookety look at this, my lovelies, for the English Courtesan has a review on Jane's Sex Guide...Those of the readers who haven't come across Jane's Guide to adult websites should be ashamed of themselves. Jane's Sex Guide has been going since 1997 which makes her 77 in hooman years. The English Courtesan should perhaps add a note to that which is that new media years are like dog years, i.e. you follow the x7 principle to work out the real world equivalence. What's more, Jane is not only still having sex at the age of 77, she's having sex aplenty, with vintage pin-ups, escorts, erotica writers, fetishists, glamour models, courtesans, photographers, gender benders, fondlers, sexologists and of course bloggers, including the English Courtesan herself.What makes Jane's Guide so special is that every site she lists is hand-reviewed and the reviews are amusing, quir... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan Might Be In... | | 2008-03-19 15:26:02 | | ‘No, my lovelies’ said the English Courtesan ‘It’s not here and it’s not there either today...' 'That’s because today is Wednesday and the whole point of High Five Fridays is that they must absolutely always and only be done on Fridays!’That means that the readers will all have to troop back to the English Courtesan’s blog on Friday to see what she has for them. However by way of consolation in the meantime, here is a fuzzy wuzzy picture of a peacock, or to be more precise a peahen, up a tree. Never let it be said that the English Courtesan leaves her readers less than satisfied… ;-)The photo was once again taken by the English Courtesan’s own fair hand. It might be a clue as to her whereabouts this past week or it might just be a very lazy post because the English Courtesan is catching up on sleep, rather like the peahen in the tree. The readers must deduce which of those it is and send their answers to the English Courtesan on a postcard to the usual.On Friday the... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan May Or May Not Be In... | | 2008-03-15 10:47:11 | | The English Courtesan is still away from her desk. Despite the readers' dazzling array of international travel destination guesses, none of them was quite right. To be fair, some of the guesses weren't that far away. For reasons of discretion however the English Courtesan couldn't possibly say which...So the English Courtesan thought she'd be a bit more helpful with today's photo. Here's where she is. It looks a bit Dutch doesn't it? Of course that could well just be another of the English Courtesan's trademark red herrings. It's not necessarily Holland. It might be but it might not be. That's the English Courtesan's clue for a whoop of laughter and a little wiggly dance in a 'wooh-wooh, the readers can't catch meee!' fashion.Incidentally the building in the photo is not exactly where the English Courtesan is. She wouldn't want to besmirch the neighbours' reputations by implying such a scandalous thing. However the building is near to where the English Courtesan is. So if that's your h... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Where is the windswept English Courtesan? | | 2008-03-12 04:58:24 | | 'Why hasn't the English Courtesan replied to our comments and emails?' asked the readers indignantly. 'Ah well' replied the English Courtesan with a mysterious smirk, 'that would be because she is currently away from her desk'...So today's post in haste is a nice easy quiz: the readers are invited to guess where the frozen and windswept English Courtesan is this week. The clue is that it's not exactly the Côte d'Azur... :-) Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, travel companion, travel companions, travel, luxury travel, cluesThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | Whose Muse Is The English Courtesan? | | 2008-03-08 08:59:10 | | Courtesy of those amusing people at BlogThings, and inspired by a reader close to the English Courtesan's heart, comes the 'what muse are you?' quiz. The English Courtesan is showing the readers hers. That means they have to show her theirs. As it were... ;-)While she awaits the readers' contributions, here is the English Courtesan's muse diagnosis:Your Inner Muse is UraniaYou are most like this muse of astronomy. Your head is in the stars, and you look to the future. You give off a heavenly, mysterious vibe. And you're not too bad at predicting the future.What Muse Are You?If you do the quiz, you'll note that the English Courtesan has substituted her own choice of painting, The Muses Urania and Calliope by Simon Vouet, for the quiz one. That's because hers is prettier. Ahem... ;-)DISCLAIMER: A note to filthy porno spammers: if you deliberately misinterpret the English Courtesan's invitation and show her yours by email, she reserves the right to make your private parts into blog fodder... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Shower Scene Without The English Courtesan | | 2008-02-27 18:22:22 | | Sent in by A Reader this week, and further to the previous post entitled 'Shower scene with the English Courtesan', comes a helpful suggestion as to how you can create your very own shower scene at home, without the English Courtesan and with minimal expense and trouble...So for those of the readers who’ve been wondering how to get the English Courtesan into their shower without her price tag, she's proud to present...Drum roll…Camera pans shakily round the bathroom door as a ghostly hand draws back the shower curtain …Cue ‘Eeh! Eeh! Eeh!’ Psycho film score…Oh yes, it’s the shower scene without the English Courtesan! In the English Courtesan place you'll find a ten inch dolly in a towel and turban. That was quite an anti-climax, wasn’t it? :-)OK, OK, so it’s not quite the same as having the real English Courtesan in your shower. But at least the dolly in your home movie isn’t just any old dolly. She’s a Madame Alexander dolly. You can tell she’s a superior dolly... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | A Quickie With The English Courtesan II | | 2008-02-23 17:20:07 | | This clue should be contemplated in conjunction with the English Courtesan's previous clue. To be honest, this clue is unfair. Unless you share a certain hobby with the English Courtesan's Paramour Du Jour, you just don't stand a chance... The trouble is, the English Courtesan's clues don't even belong to the same species. That's because it would have to be out to see it from this angle and in fact it was in when the English Courtesan was there.'That's because it's more fun when it's in!' added the grinning Paramour. 'Quite!' said the English Courtesan, whooping with glee and doing a little jiggly dance at the sheer fiendish genius of the clue... ;-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, English courtesan, escort, escorts, international escort, travel companion, travel companions, travel, luxury travel, travel with escort, travel with courtesan, cluesThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | A Quickie With The English Courtesan III | | 2008-02-23 17:17:14 | | ‘How the bl**dy H*ll…’ muttered the English Courtesan crossly ‘does M*ggy know what a bow thruster looks like?’ ‘And while we're on the topic of nautical nous, since when did Mr. Tickles and VJ know their transoms from their toe-rails?’It looks like the English Courtesan's fiendish clue Part I and the English Courtesan's fiendish clue Part II weren’t half as fiendish as she intended. The readers, and in particular the Terrible Threesome of Tickles, Moggy, and VJ, have made mincemeat of her mysteries this week, despite the kind and furry Anonymouse’s attempts to divert them.So here’s how it was meant to go. At the first fiendish clue, the English Courtesan’s readers were meant to leap off down the hotel path and suggest a few suitable landlubber locations. At the second fiendish clue they were meant to think plughole and suggest someone was inspecting the English Courtesan’s pipes. At the third fiendish clue, the photograph above, they were supposed to merely mar... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Shower Scene With The English Courtesan | | 2008-02-23 17:15:57 | | It looks like Moggy and Winter are busy doing something else tonight, ahem, so the English Courtesan supposes that she and the readers will have to wait for them to share with the class in the fullness of time. So in the meantime, by way of a post in haste, the English Courtesan thought she’d share a clue about why she’s late for the day job deadline with the readers...The clue comes courtesy of the health and safety police at a rather nice hotel with which the English Courtesan is acquainted. It’s a comical comment on the nanny state and perhaps the state of the dumbed-down-and-prone-to-suing nation. Has English education really become so utterly worthless that hotel guests need to be told not to fall out of the shower?The English Courtesan will forgive this particular hotel as she likes their boudoirs and she likes their sense of humour too. She also likes Hitchcock and naked ladies in showers but that’s a topic for another day.However the English Courtesan is heaving a big p... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | With Love From The English Courtesan... | | 2008-02-16 18:03:15 | | By way of a belated Happy Valentine's Day and fashionably late as ever, the English Courtesan thought she'd share a favourite poem with the readers today. The photo is of a rosebud, not unlike the English Courtesan's own...ahem... ;-)The poem, 'The innocence of any flesh sleeping', is from Brian Patten's Love Poems. It's one of the most tender and beautiful poems the English Courtesan has ever read and that's why she wanted to share it with the readers.The English Courtesan hopes that those of the readers who are blessed with a companion they love will whisper a few lines of this poem in their ear as they sleep tonight. She hopes that those of the readers who don't have such a companion will find one some day soon, and discover for themselves the delights of watching a loved one sleep.Sleep is one of the English Courtesan's very favourite things. She's a night owl but she always manages a good 8 hours as she believes that sleep restores us to who we're meant to be. If she's sad or in p... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | A Quickie With The English Courtesan | | 2008-02-06 14:53:42 | | 'After a few long-winded posts...' said the English Courtesan, 'It's time for a quickie!'. 'Ooh yes!' replied the readers enthusiastically. 'Ra-therrrr Livvy!' Now it has to be said that the English Courtesan isn't famed for her quickies. She's a ponderous creature, languid and leisurely as a general rule, but with lewd and lusty interludes when the occasion arises....However the English Courtesan and the Paramour du Jour can vouch that there's a lot to be said for a quickie from time to time. Especially when, like the English Courtesan this week, you're having a bit too much fun to write all about it...cue another irritatingly mysterious smirk... :-)So the readers' challenge for today, by way of their very own quickie while the English Courtesan is playing away, is as follows.Q: Where has English Courtesan been?.A: The only clue you're getting is that it's not what it looks like... ;-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, travel companion, travel companions, travel,... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan On Luxury Lingerie For Lovers II | | 2008-02-04 16:25:33 | | Further to the previous post on luxury lingerie buying tips for wives, girlfriends and modern day courtesans, the English Courtesan has had some worried enquiries from the readers. From the English Courtesan's mailbag, it would seem that there's more than one gentleman out there whose significant other either doesn’t have a lingerie drawer or has a woefully neglected lingerie drawer...The photo shows a rather cute bit of luxury lingerie from Damaris, from whose website the English Courtesan purloined the photo. So today’s post is by way of guidance on what to do if your lady friend doesn’t buy lingerie but you fancy turning her into a modern day courtesan. If she wears no lingerie at all, ever, then you probably don’t have an issue with seduction. That means you can forget the whole topic of luxurious lingerie and spend the time on something more constructive than reading the English Courtesan. Constructive things include giving your wife or girlfriend less commercial forms of ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan On Luxury Lingerie For Lovers... | | 2008-01-31 18:15:13 | | January is almost out, there's love and perhaps a little lewdness in the air for a few lucky readers, and that can only mean one thing......Oh yes, the English Courtesan's international gentlemen readers are worrying and writing in to their Maiden Auntie Livvy about their lingerie for Valentine's Day!The photo shows a rather delightful set of hipster brief, bra and garter by luxury lingerie purveyor Spoylt, from whose website the English Courtesan purloined the photo. The set depicted is called 'passion' and is meant to serve as inspiration for terrified troubadours and eye candy for luxury lingerie lovers...To be fair to the fearful, it's not their own lingerie that the English Courtesan's readers are worried about. It's what to buy for their wives and girlfriends for Valentine’s Day, hence their increasingly panicky enquiries to the English Courtesan. Should it be a black ruffle boyshort with halter neck bra? Would she like a set of burlesque diamante nipple tassles (and if so how ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Find A Valentine With The English Courtesan | | 2008-01-23 08:06:11 | | ‘Not got a Valentine yet?’ enquired the English Courtesan tenderly of the readers, with the gentlest and kindest of smiles. ‘Not got the budget to book one either?’. The good news is there’s still time and you shall go to the ball with a suitable escort too!Fear not, my darlings, for the English Courtesan really does think of everything. Today she is proud to present exactly what you need to find a special friend for Valentine’s Day and for the price of less than a drink in a London bar. The English Courtesan herself may be booked up but you can still get some on Valentine's Day if you follow these instructions!Just order a pack of these fabulous little cue cards, go out to a nice bar, and slip it into the hand of a suitable looking suitor of either sex. No, not that, or you’ll get arrested. The English Courtesan meant the card. Slip the card into the hand of a suitable-looking suitor.At just U$5 for a pack of 25, it’s got to be worth a try, hasn’t it? If your hit rat... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | The English Courtesan Spreads Them... | | 2008-01-17 20:58:21 | | Today's headline shouldn't come as too much of a shock to those readers who have been paying attention to the English Courtesan. However it's not actually that sort of spreading to which she's referring... :-) 'No, my lovelies, it's here but it's also there!', said the English Courtesan, striking a Le Penseur pose and giving her readers a mysterious smirk... This week's hot news is that the English Courtesan has trotted off with her basket of snacks to Spread Magazine! It seems that Vixen and the readers of Spread are hungry too (must be all the Spreading) so the English Courtesan is on a mission of mercy to spread meaty treats amongst international madams and mistresses across the Pond (see below).Those of the readers who have yet to acquaint themselves with Spread Magazine might like to know that it's the last word in all things lewd and a voice for the sex industry. It's witty, it's scandalous and it's downright dirty, albeit in a blue stocking type of fashion. You can read the blog and extracts from the printed magazine online or you can buy a single copy for the princely sum of U$5 or subscribe for U$18 a year.U$5 to read an interview with Deborah Jeane Palfrey, AKA the DC Madam? That's got to be a bargain, especially when you consider that getting intimate with the DC Madam, or at least with her escorts, might have cost you your job a few months back. Plus the English Courtesan rather likes the wording Spread Magazine uses on its subscriptions and donations page 'Don't make Spread get a day job - donate today!'.If you don't want to give a lazy hooker a lie-in, you could consider the other incentive for subscribing to Spread Magazine. If you're nice, the Spread ed might take you to bed! Oh all right, that's not strictly true, but the English Courtesan liked the rhyme, and the editor might at least invite you to the Spread Magazine party in February at Bluestockings Manhattan. Something tells the English Courtesan that a Spread party might ju... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Where is the English Courtesan? | | 2008-01-13 18:33:36 | | ‘Where is the English Courtesan and why is she so slow in replying to emails?’ asked the readers. ‘Mmmm’ said the English Courtesan with a mouthful of something rather tasty... By way of an apology and a token of esteem, she sends the readers this faintly erotic photographic clue as to the whereabouts and whatabouts of the English Courtesan this week. Answers on a postcard to the usual! :-)Technorati Tags: Courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, travel, international travel, travel companion, cluesThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | The English Courtesan Reveals All... | | 2008-01-13 18:32:15 | | Today’s post was supposed to be a ceremonial unveiling of the answer to the English Courtesan’s fiendish clue. The readers were meant to be gazing in awe at the photo of the answer and marvelling at the English Courtesan’s evil genius. What d’you mean, the readers already guessed it? ;-)Technorati Tags: Courtesan, courtesans, international courtesan, escort, escorts, international escort, travel, international travel, cluesThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | The English Courtesan On Sex-Kitten.Net | | 2008-01-13 18:24:39 | | No, my lovelies, it's not here today...this week's hot news is that the English Courtesan has moved into The Guest Room at Sex-kitten.net!Oh yes, spread out against the peachy silk curtains of Gracie Passette's inner vestry, you'll find the English Courtesan being interviewed by the delicious and delectable Secondhand Rose. Secondhand Rose is a former escort who became a writer, phone companion and conversationalist. She does indeed have a second hand and she's currently using to...no, too much detail...you'll have to ask her... ;-)Those of the readers who have yet to discover Sex-kitten.net might like to know that it's an international online boudoir 'dedicated to helping women regain their purrs'. It has book reviews ('because slutty girls read too'), erotica ('because even mistresses like a little bit of something on the side'), lingerie ('because it's more fun to bicker if you're wearning nice knickers'), polls (the English Courtesan is out of rhymes at this point but recent topics include 'What's most likely to get you to do the horizontal mambo?' and 'Which is higher - stack of books to read or laundry pile?') and much more. From flappers to slappers, from The Snowman Spank-Her to seduction in Sri Lanka, it's all in the cat basket, so go hunt, my little tigers!On that note the English Courtesan must get back to stroking the silken garbed Rose and Gracie. She hopes that the readers can play with themselves for a little while and then write in to tell her all about it in the comments... ;-)Technorati Tags: Courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, English courtesan, Sex Kitten, blogging, blogsThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | The English Courtesan On Criminalising Prostitution... | | 2008-01-01 15:38:10 | | ‘They said I gotta go to rehab, but aaah said, nooooo, nooooo, no!’ sang the English Courtesan in a growly voice, doing a little jiggly dance round Amy Whitehouse’s big beehive...No, no, no, before the readers write in to chastise her, it’s not that the English Courtesan has been snorting things, for she is a clean-living creature, apart from Marlboro Lights and cake. No, it’s rather that, in the ultimate failure to wish hookers a happy Christmas, the British Government is pondering criminalising prostitution, with fines and possible prison for clients, and a dose of rehab for prostitutes. Yawns. Should the English Courtesan just go and have a nap at this point or would the readers like to discuss, once again, why criminalising men who visit prostitutes is a really bad idea?It was MP Harriet Harman who kicked off the debate again when she said on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme last week that she supports criminalising men who use prostitutes as a means of tackling sex trafficking. It was reported in an intelligent article in the Telegraph, from whence the English Courtesan purloined the photo of Harriet Harman in a suitably bishopy purple outfit.As the law on prostitution in the UK currently stands, it is legal to visit an escort, pay for sex, or go to a brothel or massage parlour for sex. Kerb crawling is illegal and so is paying for sexual services from a minor (though miners of the hard hat variety are generally up for it). On a serious note, that includes anyone under 18, so it’s illegal to pay someone aged 16 or 17 for sex (despite the fact that they’re over the age of consent in the UK so consensual sex would be legal).Being a prostitute is not illegal and nor is being an escort, call girl, courtesan, travel companion or whatever else you wish to call yourself. For an escort, taking money for sex is legal and so is working in a brothel or massage parlour. As an escort, receiving incalls from a client, which is where a client visits an escort at ... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Hunting The English Courtesan | | 2007-11-10 12:07:03 | | The English Courtesan is delighted to note that the peculiar searchers of the worldwide web are coming out of the woodwork this week. As the readers know, the English Courtesan has her geeky moments and she confesses to a secret fascination with web statistics and in particular keywords...For those of the readers who are not of a technical bent, keywords are the terms people type into a search engine to find the English Courtesan’s blog. Here’s an example of one that left the English Courtesan particularly baffled. When someone types ‘wife humps dog’ into a search engine, what exactly are they looking for? Is it that they want a wife that humps dogs or is it that they’re pondering divorcing their wife because of her dog-humping antics and could do with a lawyer who specialises in the dog-humping field? Is it that they’d like their wife to hump the dog and they need to find a polite way of broaching the subject with her or are they looking for a psychologist who can help the wife with the dog-humping habit? It’s all a bit of a mystery, isn’t it? That’s what the English Courtesan loves about keywords!So following on from the English Courtesan’s previous post on peculiar searches and hilarious web statistics here, she is pleased to present the latest terms that people have been searching on to find her online boudoir.House wives posing with a hint of stocking topHow much does straw cost in Yorkshire?Double-jointed international escortsThe Lord’s ToastHow to make a stuffed horseheadBest boobies awardSecret diary of a call girl breastWife humps dogHow much does a sparky earn a year?Courtesan’s tales of international kinkyBelle De Jour on my shouldersHow to wear a wimple?Yorkshire escort rolling in a ghoul chairHairy cheese beavers rollingNaughty things done by humanEdward VII penis sizeIs licking Olivia good or bad?Sexy motor car for my sexy courtesan French RivieraDali, Duchamp, Venus de Milo with drawersEscorting job good money hahaHung like a h... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Lancelot - The English Courtesan's Knight... | | 2007-11-07 09:15:41 | | The English Courtesan received a text today from one of her most long-standing clients, who she is honoured to call her friend. For the purposes of the blog, Livvy’s beloved client will be called Lancelot. He chose that himself…arise Sir Lancelot! The text read like this:‘I did think of you whilst I was alone on distant shores. I will admit the thoughts were lewd and at the same time simply conversational harmony. You are a unique gem and I am glad we met. In another life I suspect we would have passed as ships.’That is why being the English Courtesan means something to Livvy. Lancelot is right that we might never have met were it not for this. Geography divides us from like minds even on a small island. Work means meeting more of the same kind of people who think the same way. Our social circles are sometimes so small, not through intent but through laziness.There are some 200 miles between Lancelot and the English Courtesan. Lancelot’s job is totally unrelated to the English Courtesan’s day job. Even if she had met Lancelot socially, he would have thought the English Courtesan aloof, strangely guarded, perhaps even snobbish. That’s not who she is but it’s the armour she wears in her other life.Lancelot’s text reminded the English Courtesan how blessed she is. Not just to have met him, though she knows she is blessed in that and she doesn’t underestimate how lucky she is to have found him. Yet it reminded her too that being the English Courtesan is a gift and an honour. Like all blogging escorts, she has her moaning moments but Lancelot reminded the English Courtesan of what’s special about this. Being a courtesan cuts a swathe through the things that might stop one meeting a like mind from a different world.That is what makes being the English Courtesan more than just a job for Livvy. This post is for Lancelot, who is a true knight in shining. The flowers in the photo, foxgloves and cow parsley from a Yorkshire hedgerow, are for him. Like Liv... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
| | Fright Night At The English Courtesan's Again! | | 2007-10-30 21:06:40 | | You have to admit that the English Courtesan carves a pretty good pumpkin for her age. She thought she'd share it with the readers before she totters off in her pointy witch shoes to a suitably select witches and ghouls party with the ghoul du jour. If you click on the photo you'll notice her pumpkin has a special touch, not unlike the English Courtesan herself... ;-)Sing, my lovelies, sing now with Livvy: 'We're off to see [to] the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of...West...!' Ah no, the English Courtesan is not quite that silly as to reveal her precise location.This one goes out with a big lewd lick and a pair of pumpkin pies to the Beautiful Blue Chevalier, the nubile Nia Dark And Lovely (did I mention her fabulous boobies?) and the Pervaliciously Perfect Ptr Leeds, all of whom have been giving the English Courtesan some serious link loving over the past few weeks...thank you my dears, and a Happy Halloween to one and all!Technorati Tags: Courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, party, parties, pumpkin, pumpkins, Halloween, The English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
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| | Fright Night At The English Courtesan's | | 2007-10-24 06:45:15 | | Is anyone else expecting the frenemies to descend on them around Halloween? Have you ever wanted to scare the life out of an overstaying house guest with something truly wicked? If so, the English Courtesan has a wonderful treat for you and a truly foul trick for them, in the form of something Very Peculiar and Really Quite Vile. Oh, this is such a fabulous thing! Oh yes, it’s Fright Night round at the English Courtesan’s and you’re all invited! Assuming the photo hasn’t spoilt her thunder (you mustn’t look at it until she says so!) the English Courtesan’s Weird And Wondrous Thing Of The Week is…wait for it…are we all sitting comfortably…? Well we’re not sitting comfortably any more, because out poppeth that most vile and vicious of spooks, the Easy Chair Ghoul! Click on the photo to enlarge it and you'll see him (her?) pop out...Oh, the nastiness of it! At this point the English Courtesan should explain she isn’t usually into gruesome Halloween stuff. She loves Halloween and she always has at least one pumpkin but she doesn’t like gore and guts and nastiness. It’s the concept she admires here rather than the poppy-eyed-flesh-hanging-off look.What is it that makes this so damnably funny? The English Courtesan hopes the readers will agree that there’s something inexpressibly hilarious about the sheer shock factor of a ghoul springing out of a nice looking beige velvet-covered easy chair. If it was a Philippe Starck Ghost Chair that would make some sense (except you’d have nowhere to hide your spectre). The fact that this is such an innocent-looking faintly middle aged chair makes no sense and is a stroke of true genius. It’s fabulous!To quote from the ScareFactory website : ‘perfectly camouflaged and lightning fast, Ghastly Ghoul Blasts through the bottom of chair to stand 6’3” tall. They’ll never see it coming and this one is guaranteed to drop them. Includes, chair, ghoul, mech & pneumatic pkg.’ The English Courtesan h... | | By: Diary Of An English Courtesan | | |
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