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| Articles about Funny Sms |
| Funny SMS - Flirt sms | | 2008-08-28 11:57:33 | | • God determines who walks into your life. You decide who stays & who walks out. Send this to people you never want to lose, I just did... • Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrifice! • Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop loving me! • Some people have nice eyes... some people have nice smile, others have nice faces, but you have all of them with a nice heart! • People die younger because God loves them so much. But you are still on earth... because there is someone who loves you more than God. • If u find ur world as a sky and ur friends as STARS, and if U don't find me among them, dont worrry! I've just been fallen to make ur wish come true. • Ur precious love has turned my life completely around, I feel like I'm walking but my feet don't seem to touch the ground!
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| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 46 | | 2008-08-25 04:57:01 | | A LIZARD fell on a table......Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae;Kikay: Eew, lizard!;Astig: Shit, butiki!;Mataray: Shucks, butiks!;Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste!;Mahirap: Pare, ULAM! ----------------- LADY:Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?PRIEST: Kasi ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha! -----------------SA PRUSISYON.PARI: Ang mga boys, sumunod sa karo ni San Jose. . . At ang mga girls, sa karo naman ni Mama Mary !BAKLA: Kami father, saan kami susunod?PARI: Hoy! Mga bruha!. . . Follow me!-----------------TUKMOL: Sino sa inyo ang matapang? Lumabas!SIGA: Ako, matapang ako, bakit may problema ka?TUKMOL: Wala po sir, survey lang ho....O Ngayon, yung mga duwag naman ang lumabas! -----------------A WOMAN worries about the future until she gets a husband.A MAN never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A SUCCESSFUL MAN is one who makes money...MORE than his wife can spend.A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN is one who ca... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | SMS Jokes - Funny sms jokes | | 2008-08-08 08:13:25 | | Roses R Red Violets R BlueMonkeys Like you Should Be kept In the ZooDon't feel Angry U Will Find Me There TooNot In a cage But Laughing At youI Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Dad says "Love Animals"!May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do noteat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I thinkof you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom ..& without ugliness there can be no beauty .. so the world needs YOUafter all!
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| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 44 | | 2008-07-28 04:52:01 | | LADY: Dok, nag-a-alalai ako sa kapatid ko. Dati kasi kinakausap niya ang sarili niya! Pero ngayon, hindi na niya ginagawa yun!DOK: Aba eh di mabuti! Senyales yun na gumagaling na siya. Eh ano daw ang dahilan at di na niya kinakausap ang sarili niya?LADY: Kasi magkagalit daw sila ngayon eh!!-----------------" Sa New Year, wak ikaw suot ng Polka Dots, kasi Sign lang ito ng barya! Ikaw suot RECTANGLEpara SYMBOL ng TSEKE... pero wak ikaw tatalon para hini siya talbog!! Okey? "----------------- Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mong BABAE na mukha siyang LALAKI... ng hindi siya masasaktan? Eh di ganito sabihin mo... Uy ang kyut-kyut mo naman! Kamukhang-kamukha ka ng DADDY MO!!-----------------Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mo na ayaw mo nasiyang kausap.... ng hindi siya maghihinanakit?Ganito sabihin mo... O sige pare! Lakad nako,text-text na lang ha? -----------------Paano mo naman sasabihin sa classmate mo na BUNGI-BUNGI ang ngipin niya.... ng hindi siya magagalit?Ganito lang: Wow classmate! an... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 43 | | 2008-07-14 04:51:01 | | MAN: Hello! ano pangalan mo miss?GIRL: Carmen! kasi mahilig ako sa "CAR" at saka sa "MEN" Ikaw, ano name mo?MAN: Pepe! kasi mahilig din ako eh!!-----------------NANAY: Anak, sabihin mo nga sa tatay mo na hilutin niya ako!ANAK: Tay, tabi ni inay iyutin mo daw tya!AMA: Anak, sabihin mo sa nanay mo wala ako sa mood!ANAK: Nay, tabi ni itay wala daw tya tamod!----------------- BOY-1: Alam mo ba na ang tatay ko ang pinaka-mataas na tao sa mundo?BOY-2: Bakit, gaano ba kataas ang tatay mo?BOY-1: Ang tatay ko kasi, pag itinaas ang dalawa niyang kamay, abot ang ibang planeta!BOY-2: Pandak pala ng tatay mo! Kasi hindi naman ibang planeta yung na-a-abot niya eh.... ITLOG NG TATAY KO YUN!! -----------------BOY-1 Alam mo ba na ang bahay namin ang pinaka-malaki sa lahat ng bahay? Sa sobrang laki nga non eh pwede kang makapaglaro ng Golf at Basketball sa loob.BOY-2 Eh pang-squatter lang pala bahay nyo eh! Mas malaki ang bahay namin! Dahil nga sa sobrang laki kaya nagsasara kami ng b... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
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| Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 42 | | 2008-06-30 04:47:01 | | WIFE: Aha! bakit may lipstik ka? niloloko mo ko ano?MAN: Ha, ah eh kasi dear......WIFE: At ito, ano to? make-up ito ah!!!MAN: Ha, ah eh dear kasi.....WIFE: Hindi ba napag-usapan na natin na magmula ngayon, eh magpapaka-lalaki ka na? -----------------ANAK: Inay, puwede na po ba akong mag-lipstik?INA: Hindi puwede!ANAK: Eh magsuot ng bra, puwede na po ba inay?INA: Hindi sabi puwede!ANAK: Bakit hindi puwede eh disi-otso na idad ko?INA: 'Oy boyet, pag di ka tumigil dyan, pitpitin ko yang titi mo!! -----------------PARE-1: Pare, napansin ko na ang buong pamilya nyo, eh walang tigil ang pagkanta habang nasa loob ng banyo. Siguro singer kayo lahat ano?PARE-2: Hindi naman pare, kaya lang eh talagang kailangang kumanta kami ng malakas pag nasa loob ng banyo.PARE-1: Ha! eh bakit pare ganon?PARE-2: Kasi sira ang lock ng banyo namin eh!! -----------------ESPIRITISTA: Di ba ang hiling mo eh kulamin ko ang misis mo para maging baboy sa sex? O, epektib ba?GUY: OK... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Funny Sms a | | 2008-06-28 17:06:19 | | Funny Sms a true love stroyonce a mosquito falls in love with a henone day they kissed each otherhen dies of malariaand mosquito dies of bird-fluMORAL : MOHABBTAN SACHIYAN
A news by AsianLoveStories.com.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fasianlovestories.com%2Ffunny-sms-a';
addthis_title = 'Funny+Sms+a';
addthis_pub = 'asianlove';... | | By: Love stories | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 41 | | 2008-06-09 07:00:01 | | BEAUTY PAGEANTjudge: wt if u fnd out ur boyfrnd haS AIDS,wt wL u d0?contestnt: i'd stL luv him (EVRYBODY CLAPS.)..bc0z AIDS dsnt maTer!Ü---------bkt nakkmatay ang butter?übcoz..,itz "ment..tikil..ya"tentenenen :-Dfunny n0h!ü------------------Kinds of Txters"1.VAMPIRE: 8pm onwrds mgttxt hnggng mk2log k n.2.ONEWAY: puro 4wrd ng kowts, pg tnxt m, la n reply.3.KOWTSERO/A: hinge kowts linya nya.4.USI: Lgi ñ tnong 'nu gwa u?or wt gwa u?' prng na2y!5.PACUTE: Uses po/h & opo.6.D INVICBLE: Dal2 s txt pro s prsonal d m mkausap.7.PARASITE: Mgttxt lng pg me klangn.8.VIP: Ubod ng tgal mgreply.9.DEDMA: S dmi ng tnxt m "ah ok" lng ang reply.TMAAN WAG MGALIT.,ü----------------Sa school..Mariel:Friendship! Bkt parang ang puti ng mukha mu ngaun?FRESELDA:halleeer!FOUNDATION DAY kaya ngayon!ü:-(-----------------Promoter: Misis,kpg pnaghalo ang Surf at Tide, bubula kya?Misis: Aba syempre!Promoter: Mali!Misis: Bkit nmn?Promoter: Wla png tubig!Excited?!-----------------Baby 1: (burp!)Baby 2: daling! La... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Funny sms text messages | | 2008-06-08 08:00:52 | | 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in [...]... | | By: Encyclopedia of Humor | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 39 | | 2008-05-26 04:26:01 | | don't make the same mistake twice..madami pang kasalanan jan, try mo ung iba.---------Ur temporary absence frm my immdiate vicnity seems 2 affct a slght dpression of sorts w/in this realms day 2 day existence..in short...'i mis u': the nsebleed edtion..-------------------B1:pre,nhoLdp aq muntk p q mmtay! B2:bkt,d kb humngi ng 2Long? B1:ngtxt aq s puLis stati0n! B2:bkt,anng rpLy? B1:haynku, e2 rpLy! "hu u?"Wr did u get my no.?!-------------------After inspection:"miss,wg k munang umalis..check q ulit gmit m..nsma ata ang puso q e.."-WHATEVER, manong guard.--------------------Scenes kpag mgkaaway ang isang couple:-mgttxt ng kunwre wrng snd(pra icheck kng mgrrply c bf/gf)-mgttxt ng kunware gm(ppancn?)-mgssend ng sandamakmak na swit/sad quotes(pnadma daw)-ssbhn sa tropa, "bhala sya, mgtxt sya kng gus2 nya, d ko ppancnin"(pro panay ang abang sa cp kng my txt)-bukang bbig nya, "di wag sya mgtxt! So?"(pro ittxt c bf/gf ng, "ano, wla ka ng pakealam?)-bu2rahin ang # ni bf/gf(pro saulo nman an... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 36 | | 2008-04-25 08:22:19 | | though peacethough peace is very important in our livescause without thought peacepaano tayo makakapag thought brass!!!------------------Magsyota naglalakad sa parkGF: hon, naiihi akoBF: ok.. dyan ka na lang sa damuhan...(habang umiihi kinapa kapa ni bf ang legs ni gf ng may nahawakan siyang mahaba sa gitna ng legs)BF: Pucha!!! nagpalit ka ba ng kasarian??GF: Ulol!! nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon... dudumi na lang ako!!!------------------Luv U!!!pag mahal mo siya.. sabihan mo kahit alam mong walang kapalit yun.Ang mahalaga nalaman niya...at kung magalit siya.. sabihin mo:NAGKAMALI LANG NG SEND.. PAKYU!!!!Taenang ito!!! yabang!!!!------------------------A riddle that will kill your brainthere are only 3 words in the english language that ends in "gry"1 is ANGRY and the other is HUNGRYEveryone knows what the 3rd one means and what it stands forEveryone uses then everyday and if you listen to me carefully, i've given you the third word already.. what is it??_ _ _ gry!!! No reply no IQ-----... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 35 | | 2008-04-14 08:38:57 | | makabagong kasabihan:"aanhin mo ang taong maganda...kung siya ay pumapangit pag katabi ko na?!!"------------------------------------Binata: ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyoAle: wag muna, nag-aaral pa siyaBinata: Sige po kapag uwian na lang nila!!! :)-------------------------------------Mansanas pantalon,ang sapatos may buhok(may buhok)..lahat sila nakatingin na sa iyo (sa iyo)Ay nadapa! (ay nadapa)bigla bigla, nagspageti pababa ba ba ba ba...Pawis na at kupas, ang sapatos may sintas(may sintas!!)paikot ikot puwet pinalong malakas(malakas!!)Ay nadapa(ay nadapa)Bigla bigla nagspagetti pababa ba ba ba ba...."low"- flo ridatagalog version------------------------------------------Spanish Poemel papa la bombay mama de camatres beses biradacontodo romansael papa pagod nala mama gusto pael papa tacas naporque te-te lambot na-------------------------------------------Boy to his crushBoy: alam mo ba hindi tayo tao hindi rin tayo hayop??Girl: huh?? eh ano tayo??Boy: BAGAY tayo...Naks hahahaha...... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 34 | | 2008-04-08 08:48:54 | | How would Newton explain "falling in love"its like two marbles that fall in different waysOnce free fall theres no initial force it just go with gravityWhich one will reach the land first?Like fallin in loveWhich of the two will end sooner??Love that you feel freely?or love that you forced to feel??Oha oha!!! sino nagsabi na bagsak ako sa physics...-----------------------------------------Love just one person...And just taste the rest....-----------------------------------------Nahihiya ako sa yo......Kasi madalang kita matxtBusy kasi ako masyadoikaw???Bakit hindi mo ako tinetext??hindi ka ba nahihiya???Artista pa nagtetext sa yo??!!!-----------------------------------------A Mom called his son...Mom: Pauwi ka na ba?? Asan ka na???Son: andito po ako sa hospital...His Mom cried: Ano nangyari sa yo????Son: Nay, Nurse kaya ako!! sabog ka ba???----------------------------------------Tanong:Ano ang tawag sa leader ng mga saging????Siret??Sagot: Banana chip!!! hehehehe....-------------------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 33 | | 2008-03-24 08:55:12 | | 10 embarassing moments:10. masakit ang tyan at hindi na inabot ang cr9.umakbay ka sa ibang tao na kalo mo friend mo8.nagulat ka pero walang nagulat7. nagjoke ka sa madaming tao pero walang natawa6.panay salita mo wala ka na palang kausap5.pag na nkikitawa ka sa mga magfriends na nagjojoke sa jeep. Feeling close.4. feel na feel mo na ikaw ang kausap, yun nasa likod mo pala3. bihis na bihis ka na. hindi ka pala kasama2. lumobo sipon sa sobrang tawa1. tapos sininghot mo pabalik imbes na punasan!!!------------------------------------sabi nilabalang araw mahahanap ko dinyung magmamahal sa kin ng tunay...natawa ako....wala lang, natawa lang ako.. hahaha!!! masama ba tumawa???-------------------------------------Top 6 problems of highschool students:6. Allowance5.Assignments4.exams3. grades2. instructors1.papelpansin mo??-------------------------------------GMA: Sorry na-late ako. Grabe ang brownout sa makati eh. 1 hour kami sa elevatorErap: Mas grabe ang brown out sa San Juan. 2hours kami ni... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 30 | | 2008-01-21 06:47:59 | | "Bakit ba pati ako, binibigyan nyo ng malisya? Ano ba ang kasalanan ko?!"- Talong"Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!"- Putok"Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?"- Lego"Halika, bigyan mo pa ako ng init. Kailangan kong pumutok para ako'y iyong matikman at ika'y masarapan. Ayan na! Puputok na! Humanda ka!"- Popcorn"Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure!"- Singit"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sa iyo. Ayoko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako itanggi!"- Utot"Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis!"- Pigsa"Kapag ang katawan mo'y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap mo.Maya't maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod. Hindi ka na naawa!"- Aircon"Pagod na akong humawak ng balls mo! Pagod narin ako sa pagbihis-hubad mo sa akin. Malapit na naman ulit! Ayoko na!!!"- Christmas Tree."I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt, But you know, I didn't ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da pelepenopipo!" Manny Pacquiao."Yo... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 29 | | 2008-01-11 05:05:41 | | Sa taon ng daga, sana kagatin ka suwerte, ngatngatin ka ng saya at maging mabilis ang pasok ng pera sa yo!!! ipasa mo agad ito sa iba. kapag bumalik sa yo.. Suwerte yun!!!!-------They say i look goodi say ...i taste even better!!! hehehehe!!!-------if you have sex 365 times last year and kept all condoms and melt them, you can then make a tire and actually call it a GOODYEAR!!!! heheheh-------Kapag iniwan ka ng mahal moHuwag kang lumuhaSa halip magsaya at sabihin...simula ng iniwan mo ako..."my skin is firmer. my pores are smaller and my lines parang nawala" :)--------"laging nasa huli ang pinakamatangkad""kapag may usok... kawawa ang may hika"" when the cat is away.. sabihin mo lang.. wiss, wiss, wiss para lumapit""Kapag may tiyaga... may Goodluck!!!""Aanhin pa ang damo kung garden mo naman ay sementado"---------Wrong send of the day"Pare huwag mong kalimutan dalhin ang condom ha... Love you!!!!"----------Sa Math ClassTeacher: tanong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karnet at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?Buknoy: 2 po mam!!!Teacher: at kung hinati ko pa pareho??Buknoy: 4 piraso poTeacher: hinati ko ulitBuknoy: 8 piraso poTeacher: hinati ko paBuknoy: 16 po mamTeacher: hinati ko paBuknoy: 32 piraso poTeacher: kung hinati ko pa ulit?Buknoy: 64 po!!!(galit)Teacher: hinati ko pa 2 beses ko pang hinatiBuknoy: putanginamo mam!!! GINILING na yun!!! GINILING GAgo!!!----------when you sleep with a broken heart...eh di paggising mo...broken hearted pa din!!!asa ka naman na overnight lang ang healing process!!!---------Logic 101:Life is easier if we areNOTgood looking...but since we are..... Life is difficult...hehehehe...---------Estudyante song:Pasukan nanaman oh kay tulin ng arawPasukan nananaman tila bakasyon kelan langNgayon ay pasukan dapat pasalamatanNgayon ay pasukan tayo ay magawitanBaon!!!Baon!!!Baon na naman muliTanging baon nating pinaka mimithiBaon!!!Baon!!!Baon na naman muliAng allowance naghahari!!!---------May bata na nasa bubong binobosohan ang magsyotaGirl: pa... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 28 | | 2008-01-03 08:42:55 | | This edition of PinoyJokes is brought to you by PenoycentradotNEt. Thanks to all who shares their jokes!!! keep them coming!!!! Txt nyo na ang mga Jokes jokes nyo!!!!--------------Ano bang problema mo? Tinatanung lang naman kita, minumura mo pa ako. Hindi naman kita pinipilit sumagot!! kung hindi mo na kaya eh di huwag na!!!!--- TEST PAPER------------Babae: aalis na ako!!! iiwan na kita!!!Lalake: huwag love!!! Kapag umalis ka!!! maglalaslas ako ng pulso...Babae: mukha mo!!! magpatuli nga hindi mo magawa!! maglaslas pa kaya?? Supot!!!-----------May then holiday season bring u Joy, Grace and Love...Si Joy nasa dating club pa din; si Grace kasi may utang ka pa at hinahanap ka ni Love, buntis daw!!!-----------Son: Dad, i had my first sex with my classmate:Dad: Wow!! Ang galing mo anak!! very macho!!! inum tayo.. Let's celebrate your becoming man!!!Son: Bukas na dad!!! Sakit ng Puwet ko eh!!!-----------Nasa bangka with your ever plastic friend and your two timer exng biglang lumulubog ang bangka...Sino una mong ililigtas??Yung bangka o yung sagwan???----------a man went to a pharmacy to buy condoms...Saleslady: P2000 po ang isa sir..Man: what?? bakit sobrang mahal???Saleslady: kasi po pede nating i-try----------Wanna know how hindu(india) people communicate without talking??See the red dot on their forehead??Infrared pare!!!----------Sa math class..Titser: Juan, kung ako ay may 5 anak sa unang asawa at 10 anak sa pangalawa samakatuwid meron akong????Juan: Mam, libog... matinding libog!!!----------Effort is only effoert when it begins to get hurt.. :(But i remember my yaya told me once...Effort is where you can find...Erflanes... Waaattt!!!???----------Website ba ako???Bakit madaming nali-link sa akin???---------Pinoy jokes from 0915298****, 0916611****,0915940****,0905401****,0915673****... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 27 | | 2007-12-23 07:50:22 | | Juan: Buwiset na shampoo ito.. hindi bumubulaPedro: paanong bubula yan hindi naman basa ang buhok mo!!!Juan: Baliw!!! for dry hair nga daw ito eh!!! bobo ka ba??!! Epal!!!------------------------Do you know INNER ROW???What is inner row??Inner Row is that which comes beforePibrerowMarsowAbrilMayow...-----------------------Alcohol Solves no problems. Neither does milk. Pero buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan.Eh ang Milk?? Meron na bang nag-treat ng milk? at sinabi nya tara dude milk tau??!!!-----------------------Mag syotang nag uusap sa tabing dagatGirl: Hon anong zodiac sign mo??Boy: (nagisip siya dahil bobo hindi nya alam) sayo muna hon.Girl:zodiac sign ko CancerBoy: sa kin Goiter!!!-----------------------as proposed by law sex will now be taxed.1. upon penetration(VAT Vaginal Access Tax)2. more that 10 minutes inside(burial Tax)3. Upon withdrawal(exit tax)4. Those who do not have sex life(idle asset tax)5. those who practice withdrawal method of birth control(withholding tax)6. Entering other than wife(road users tax)Kung matutuloy ito, sa iyo pa lang makakaahon na ang Pilipinas sa lahat ng utang.. Mabuhay ka!!!----------------------Anak: Tay, May assignment kami find the least common denominator dawItay: ha? nung elementary ako assignment na namin yan. Hindi pa ba yan nahahanap???----------------------A mother asked her daughter about her sex life. the daughter only answer. "Cebu Pacific"On the way home, the mother saw the billboard and was shocked!!!"Cebu Pacific 7 days a week, twice daily and both ways!!!"That girl!! idol!!!----------------------Anak: Tay, ilan "r" ng correspondent?? isa o dalawa???Tatay: Tatluhin mo na para sure!!!----------------------Pasyente: Magkano ang facelift???Doktora: Complete treatment ay P145,000Pasyente: mahal!!! ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata??Doktora: eto tsupon, P20 lang!!!----------------------Lessons learned from Trillanes1. pwede palang maglakad from Makati Trial Court to Manila pen2. Kasya pala an... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 26 | | 2007-11-30 09:35:04 | | Cheap Lacoste Shirts for Christmas!!! order now!!!--------------------kung totoo ang "Darwin's theory of evolution" na ang tao ay namula sa unggoyBakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo???Baka another theory noh???--------------------did you know that-cockroaches have fingers and nails??-rats can cure diabetes??-ballpens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas??-the saliva of a horse is used in making cheese??galing noh??Lahat yan imbento ko lang... hahahaha--------------------Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth.What did u read?? My pen is in her mouth.or did your dirty mind read something else???--------------------Boy: musta???Girl: k lang. kaw?Boy:k lang din. hehehe.Girl:hehehe..sa Globe Unlitxt, walang kuwenta ang usapan. hahahaha--------------------Amo: mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. ang sinomang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito!!! klaro ba??Inday: ang mga namutawi sa iyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iimbak sa sulog ng aking balintataw,sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. tatalikdin ang matayogat palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasabitin ang aking sangkaloobaninday scores again!!!--------------------health tips based on research:headache-eat fishfever-yogurtprevent stroke-teainsomnia-honeyasthma-onionsarthritis-fishupset stomach-banana and gingerbladder infxn-cranberry juicebone problem-pineapplepremenstrual syndrome-cornflakesmemory problem-oystercolds-garliccough-red pepperBroken heart??COLT45!!!Todo Lakas!!!--------------------a blackman, a whiteguy, and a pinoy were in the bar when a sexy lady comes up and says,"whoever can use the words liver and cheese with style will be my date tonight"White: steak that liver and melt that cheese on meBlack: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love youPinoy: hey, you two!!! Liver alone!!! Cheese mine!!! yeh!!!-----------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 25 | | 2007-11-22 08:50:59 | | Cheap Lacoste Shirt for Sale------------------Roses for lovers,chocolates for crushesballoons for friendshipsmost of all,for lovelessred...REDHORSE..-----------A man killed a DEER and cooked it but doesnt tell the kids what it ishe gives a clue"ganyan ang tawag ng Mama nyo sa akin"the girl cries out,"wag nyong kainin.. demonyo yan!!!!"------------Who said fill in the blank is easy???Sige ikaw nga...try natin.. fill this blank with YES or NO...___________, i am not a normal person.-------------isipin mo palagi ako nandito sa likod momahulog ka man sa hukay huwag ka matakot hindi ka nag-iisahindi man kita kayang hilahin pataaskaya ko naman sumigaw ng"help, look oh, nahulog siya!!! Soo engot kasi!!!!"-------------gusto kong sabihing masaya ako para sa inyo..pero nasasaktan ako... puwede bang wag na siya.. ako na lang... ako na lang ulit...ONE MORE CHANCE - John lloyd at bea showing na!!!--------------a cardiologist was buried in a heart shaped coffin. one of the doctors laughed.when asked why he said..im just thinkin about my coffinim a gynecologist---------------Son: dad, may confess ako.. bakla ako.. huwag mo akong bugbugin please..dad: ssshhhh!!wit ka loud baka ma-hear tayo ng mudra mez!! kapag 2 lang tayo, carry mo akong tawaging mother---------------eto pa ang isa sa mga mababangis na banat.hi ano gawa mo???gusto mo gawa tayo???Lupet!!!--------------Tatay:anak, gising na at kakain na tayo.. hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulamAnak:talaga tay!!!Tatay: hulaan mo.. mag CHOP sa dulo??Anak:aha!!! porkchop tay!! paborito ko yun eh!!!Tatay: ketchop anak.. sige kain ka na...--------------Pinoy Jokes from 0915298****, 0915673****, 0920619****, 0929222****, 0917619****, 0917492****... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 24 | | 2007-11-03 20:12:58 | | sakaling dumating angoras na umiiyak ka,huwag kang magdadalawangisip na magtxt or tawagan akodahil ibibili kita ng ice creamtsaka lobo tapos hindinatin sila bati... :)----------------------------i hope ok ka lang today... umiiyak ako ngayon.. i have a big problem..txt ako sa yo to ask for your help.. can u help we with my problem??paano ba mag-ihaw ng YELO???----------------------------Patient: Doc i have problem but promise you wont laugh(drops his pants and shows the tiniest penis ever)doc trying not to laugh: Ok whats the problemPatient: namamaga po eh-----------------------------Konting pampam lan...Use DEDICATE in a sentence...kapag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...How about CONTINUE..kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET...Naholdap yung cellphone ko.. hindi bale.. i'll VIOLET...eto pa,OPINION...papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION..eh ang CONCLUSION...siyempre, hindi ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan kung CONCLUSION...-------------------------------Guy1: Pare parang i love you...Guy 2: stop it pare!!! just prove it!!!! -------------------------------No matter how strong we hold on still there comes a time that we suddenly fall...---- butiki-------------------------------Masarap daw maging single1. plagi gumigimik2. puwede uminom palagi3. walang nangingialam sa iyo4. nagagawa mo lahat5. puwede mong i-date kahit sinopero pagkatpos ng kasiyahan at nag-iisa ka na. masaya pa rin kaya??masaya ang single pero mas masaya kung pag-uwi mo may taong naghihintay sa yo at magsasabing"hubad na!!! sabik na sabik na ako sa iyo!!!"-------------------------------whats worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating???kapag nakita mong kalahati na lang yung worm!!!!-------------------------------Things you dont want to hear during your own surgery1. saan yung gunting na bago???bakit may kalawang na ito??2. 10ml??? may nakasurvive na ba dyan?? sabi ko 5ml lang!!!3. doc, ubos na po pala yung anestisya4.... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 23 | | 2007-10-21 20:47:41 | | Example ng mga hindi tamang sago sa maayos na tanong:1. Kumain ka na? - Busog pa ako2. Andyan ba ang nanay mo? - bakit po?3. Anong oras klase mo? - mamaya4. San kayo galing tol?? - nagstroll lang tol5. Paano mo ginawa yan? - madaling lang --------------------------------------------good persons are made of sugar and spice...but me, my friends are made of...san mig light and ice... :)--------------------------------------------Jingom bells jingom bellsjingom all the wayo daspan electric fankaldero kag pinggan hey!!!Advance Merry xmas!!! namamasko po!!!-------------------------------------------Mga title ng mga seksing pelikula:1. Ang kati ng higad mo2.budburan ko ng niyog ang mainit mong pichi-pichi3. lawayan mo baka mausog4.huwag mong ibabad, isawsaw mo lang5.napagod ang bunganga sa laki ng tilapya.6.huwag mong kamayin baka mapanis.7.pasalat ng peklat8.diligan mo ng suka ang nanunuyo kong lumpia9.kapag gumabi... bumubuka ang kabibe...10.nang tumapon ang nata ni Cocoy---------------------------------------------A funny thing that a child could say:it was the day of cremation of grandmother of the child. all of the relatives are there and stood in silenceeverybody is silent until the child suddenly ask, out of curiosity..." Ma, hindi pa ba luto???"---------------------------------------------In a kindergaten class, the little girl asked:girl: mam, mabubuntis po ba yung 40 yrs old???teacher: oogirl: yung 20?teacher: oogirl: yung 5 yrs old???teacher: hindi(little boy whispered)boy: sabi sayo... wag kang kabahan!!!---------------------------------------------Nabangga ni Epay si IndayInday: How dare you try to increase your speed towards such a trajetory as myself.Epay: Please accept my deepest apologies for it was not my utmost intention to colide you.Inday: if i coudl logically deduce from such action, i say that you are uncivilizedEpay: but i have to say that it happened is because the intense mental concentration had shielded you from my range of vision----------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 22 | | 2007-09-23 07:03:56 | | 10 Painful things:1.bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget2.reminiscing the good times3.trying to hide what you really feel4.loving someone who loves another5.having a commitment with someone that you know wouldnt last6.shielding your heart to love somebody7.loving a person too much8.right love at the wrong time9.taking the risk to fall in love again10. bihis na bihis ka tapos hindi ka pala kasama-------------------Pen pen de chorvaloo de kemerloo de eklavoo, hao hao de chenelyn de big uten, sifit dapat iipit, goldness filak chumuchorva sa tabi ng chenes!!! shoyan an..-------------------Minsan pinaupo ako sa isang room sa gitna ng maraming tao....Ayun dun nauso ang CENTER of ATTRACTION!!!-------------------Customer: Waiter!! bakit ang tagal ng order ko?? ilan ang cook nyo dito??Waiter: Ay, sir, wala pu kame cuk dito..Pipse lang..Pipse!!!-------------------Life's Formula:Assume wala.Expect konti.Do dami.Smile todo.Laugh Sagad.Once in awyle, iyak kontiMost of all, DASAL always.Have a happy Buhay!!!--------------------Aanhin mo ang napakalaking bahay,masarap na pagkain,magagarang sasakyan,at milyong milyon na salapi..kung kapitbahay mo naman ang may-ari... :)--------------------Ang kasabihan ni Reiner,Natuto kang lumandi magtiis ka sa hapdiNasa kama ang sarap, nasa ospital ang hirapKapag libog ang pinairal sira ang pag-aaralwalang pangit sa titing galitpangit man daw at maliit sa paningin.. nakakabuntis pa dinmahapdi man sa unang tikim, luluwang at luluwang din-------------------Morons!!! i was never raised by my mom to be a coquette!!! im nurtured with such dignity, respect and morality. Even poverty cant make me do such scandalous act. i dont rely on aesthetic products and on skimpy and scantily clad outfits. So pathetic!!-- banat ni inday nung alukin siyang magpose sa FHM-------------------"hindi ka nababagay dito!!! dun ka nababagay sa mga taong palara!!! sa mga taong nakahiga sa pera!!!" -- robin padilla... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 21 | | 2007-09-08 03:22:40 | | Teacher: mga bata alam ba nyo na ang bawat butil ng bigas ng palay ay galing sa dugo at pawis ng mga magsasaka???Mga bata: EEEWWWWWW!!!!-----------------------Apo: Lolo halina at bagong luto pa itong arroz caldo para makahigp po kayo ng sabaw para naman po mainitan ang sikmura nyo, halina po kayo lo!!Lolo: FUCK OFF!!!!----------------------Bob: nagkakamagkano ka sa isang araw???Pulubi: naguumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na, naka P80 na koBob: hindi na masama no?? ano mabibili mo dyan???Pulubi: Puwede na itong isang espreso macchiato sa starbucks...----------------------if only adam and eve were pinoy..they would not commit original sin..why??they would ignore the fruit..and instead..Eat the snake..PULUTAN ito!!!----------------------Boy: sigurado ka bang akin yan pinagbubuntis mo???Girl: oo naman!!! tatlo na ang tinanong ko hindi daw kanila!! ikaw na lang ang natitira kaya sigurado ako sa iyo talaga ito!!!----------------------Lolo: apo buhatin mo akoApo: san ko po kayo dadalhin lolo?? sa CR po???Lolo: hindi.. ipatong mo ako sa lola mo...----------------------nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. akala ng nakakakita na naloloko na siya dahil wala naman siyang itinatanim.Guard: Sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah..Erap: Bobo!!! Seedless ito!!!----------------------Ina: Suwail kang anak!! Matigas ang ulo mo??? lagi ka na lang problema.. kung alam ko lang.. na lalabas kang perwisyo!!! sana chinupa ko na lang ang tatay mo!!!----------------------In a Mis Gay PageantHost: How can we uplift our economy today eventhough we are under economic crisis??Gay:(namutla) Mga bakla!!! akala ko ba miss gay ito!!! quizbee pala!!!----------------------ang kaibigan parang movie..may action..may comedy..may drama..may horror.may love story..pero kung ikaw ang bida..alam ko yan..sure ako.. SCANDAL yan!!!----------------------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 20 | | 2007-08-18 03:34:49 | | Last night my pillow saw me sad.She asked me, "Why are you crying??? tears falling on me??"Know what i did??Siyempre tumakbo ako!!! kaw ba namang kausapin ng unan!!! English pa!!!--------------------------------------------------IQ testwhy is P3.70 = P13.20??? isip muna bago down....Answer: trisibinti=tsisibinti!!!!hahaha!!! hindi na-gets!!! basahin mo ulit!!! hehehhe--------------------------------------------------Kahit marami na akong nahalikanKahit madami ng labi ang dumampi sa akinMarami mang lumaway sa akinHindi ibig sabihin nito na wala na akong dangal--- Kutsara---------------------------------------------------Boy: Daddy?? how did i come into this world???Dad: listen carefully. Mom and dad met each other in a cyber cafe. In the restroom of the cyber cafe, dad connected to mom. Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick. when dad finished uploading. we discovered we did not use firewall. Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus!!!---------------------------------------------------Kahit na magkalayo tayo.Lagi mong isiping andito lang ako!!Kaya kung nalulungkot at nag-iisa ka.Just type my # 15send to 808Sure yun!!! reply me agad!!!Ikaw pa!!!----------------------------------------------------Waaahhh.. grabe yung kasabay ko sa jeep sigeng kiss!!! hindi na nahiya!! gusto pa ng girl, inalis pa yung bra kita talaga yung boobs nya!! bata pa yung girl.. totoo!!! pero mas bata yung guy!!!6 months!!!----------------------------------------------------Hinoldap si lumenPero dahil wais.. nilagay nya P500 sa pantyKaya hindi nakuha,Pero nang ibili nya sa grocery.. ayaw tanggapin.. fake daw!!!dahilnakalabas ang dila ni Ninoy!!!!----------------------------------------------------Pari nagmimisa: sino sa inyo ang may kagalit??Taass kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babaePari: si lola lang ang walang kagalit... ano edad nyo lola??Lola: 93 anyos.Pari: tingnan nyo si lola.. 93 na pero walang kagalit!! Lola baki... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 19 | | 2007-07-28 03:24:04 | | Bakit "TT" ang tawag sa male sex organ??kasi kapag may nakahubad TAYO-ng-TAYOkasi kapag excited TIGAS-NG-TIGASkapag natapos TULO-ng-TULOoh ikaw?? TT rin..TAWA-ng-TAWA------------------------------------A pinoy in New York bumps into a blackman...BLACKMAN: Hey, watch it!!! you muddafucka!!!Pinoy: Gago ito ah!!! MADAFAKA RIN SANA!!! ngo ngo!!!-------------------------------------Tanong: Bakit hindi pwedeng magswimming ng sabay-sabay ang mga kalbo sa jacuzzi??Sagot: Kasi magmumukha silang FISHBALLS!!!! hehehe-------------------------------------Magmahal???oo, nagawa ko nmagmakaawa??oo, nasubukan ko naumiyak??oo, ilang beses nasumuko??hindi pa...bakit ako susukomukha ba akong WANTED??ARTISTAHIN yata ito!!!--------------------------------------Dangerous snake..ERECTERIUS TROUSERIUS(Trouser Snake)Description: varies from pink to black.. fangless... with highly venomous spit.. that can cause prolonged swelling for 9 months.. size varies from 3" to 9" depending on subspecies. Usually found in bedrooms but is known to appear in unusual place from time to time. Attacks women in the lower frontal abdomenal area but sometimes known to attack men in between the gums.---------------------------------------A new effective diet:TeA and honey for breakfastTea and honey for lunch.TITI ni Honey for dinner.---------------------------------------Makulay(makulay)ang buhay!!!(ang buhay)makulay ang buhay sa kabilang buhay!!!!---------------------------------------Inspirational qoute that we must always remember:kung kaya ng iba...pagawa mo sa kanila...dont force yourself.. make your life easy!!!---------------------------------------Classmate: bakit yung airplane kapag umikot ang elisi umangat sa lupa..yung electric fan hindiPedro: tanga ka pla eh!!! kasi yung electric fan may kurdon,, pinipigilan kaya yun!!!---------------------------------------When you feel sad and alone...i'll be there to say...halika!!! mambato tayo ng bahay.. TRIP TRIP lang!!!!-------------------------------------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 18 | | 2007-07-15 07:03:35 | | May our relationship turn into silversilver into goldand to diamondtapos benta natin para yumaman tau!!!bili tau ng bahay!!!!---------------------------------Marami akong lugar na hindi malilimutanlugar kung saan nagtawananlugar na kung saan nagasaranpero alam mo ba yung lugar na kahit kaylan hindi ko malilimutan??sa "makati"doon kita nakilala eh!!!--------------------------------sabi nila ang tumawa daw ng hahahaay good luckingat ang tumawa ng heheheay matalinoikaw anong pipiliin mo??maging good looking o matalino??hirap noh??haehaehaehae!!!!--------------------------alam mo ba tinext kita dahil gusto ko lang mangamusta...yun lang ayoko ng pahabain pa itong txt ko sa yo kasi ang pakay ko lang talaga ay kumustahin ka...medyo tinatamad ako magtxt lalo na kung mahaba at alam kong tatamarin ka din magbasa kaya eto kukumustahin lang kita..baka kapag may ginagawa kang importante sabihin mo nakakaabala pa ako sa yo kaya hindi na ako nagpapaligoy pa ng hindi ka mahabaan pa.. nakakahiya naman sayo.. basta alam mong naaalala kita sa simpleng kumusta lang.. hindi na para tanungin ko pa ang ginagawa mo.. basta nagtxt ako para mangamusta lang!!! gud am!!!--------------------------time to refresh your ABAKADA. basahin ito sa tagalog...B,K,W,L,K,M,G,W,P,R,M,S,Y,T,W,K,H,H,H,T,W,P,H,H,H,T,M,N,P,R,K,N,T NGA!!!send this to others, P,R,M,K,Gnti ka!!!!H,H,H,H!!!!!---------------------------we cant avoid getting hurtbut we can stop our pains from hurting us...for all your pains...BIOGESICPwedeng inumin kahit walang laman ang tiyan.. hahahaha!!!---------------------------Titser: who can give example of a tag questionPupil: my teacher is beautiful, isn't she??Titser: good!!! itagalog mo nga!!!!Pupil: si mam ay maganda.. hindi naman d ba???---------------------------ang problema dumadating yan sa lahat ng tao!!!matatag man o mahina...pero pag hindi mo na kaya...andito lang ako..."tentenenen!!!" isa pang problema!!!!----------------------------Masakit kapag una hindi ba??Masikip kasi pati... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 17 | | 2007-06-15 23:18:37 | | A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curld up and died.Father: all right son, what have you learned from the show???Son: Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, hindi ka magkakabulate!!!!---------------------------------Mister: (kissing wife's shoulder) hon, sige naMisis: (nairita) bumabagyo!!!Mister: ayaw mo yun?? malamig!!!Misis: tanga!!! hindi ka na nahiya!! andaming tao dito sa evacuation center!!!---------------------------------Hello!!! Kumusta?? Badtrip ako... baliw yata yung kapitbahay namin.. sigaw ng sigaw, nagwawala talaga!!!.. tapos hindi ako makatulog kasi sumisigaw pa... sabi"Kahit picture mo lang (your name here)!!! maawa ka naman!!!"---------------------------------Anak: mommy kinakain ba ang "shit"???Mommy: ha?? bakit mo naman naitanong anak???Anak: kasi kagabi nadinig kita... sabi mo kay daddy..."SHIT!!! ang sarap!!!"---------------------------------Take care of your teeth!!!Losin your teeth lessens sex drive!!!According to Chinese, "pak kaw wala ipen, wala kan tooth!!!"So ingatz of your teeth para melon kan tooth!!!-----------------------------Wasariamusarbikulomde amunartalaspakuamunarhom irde pekreal madukurarhom hompuran!!!Binasa mo???!!!Orasyon yan pampakapal ng bulbol!!! heheheheh!!!-------------------------Juana: Mare, sama ka sa paluwagan namin??? kulang na lang kami ng isa...Jing: ayaw ko mare...Juana: bakit naman???Jing: ayaw ko... kasi virgin pa ako!!------------------------Amazona: Sa wakas!!! Ako huli din lalaki!!! tagal na hindi ako tikim titi!!!Bihag: Wow, swerte!!!! Ang seseksi nila!!!Amazona: Hugas nyo mabuti titi bago iihaw!!!------------------------Misis: honey, bago mo ako naging asawa, ilan ang naging chicks mo???Mister: selos ka lang!! huwag na!!Misis: sige na!!!Mister: kulit mo!! oh sige, there was 1,2,3,4,5, ikaw, then, 7,8,9..------------------------INRITS YUR... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 16 | | 2007-06-10 06:57:21 | | Manghuhula: Magiging mapalad ka sa larangan ng sex. Duduy: Wow!!! ibig nyong sabihin, marami akong makakasex??? Manghuhula: Hindi. Palad mo lang lagi ang makakasex mo!!! -------------------------------------------------- Lalaki 1 : anong hayop ang in na in?? Lalaki 2: ano?? Lalaki 1: Bear... Lalaki 2 : bakit bear?? Lalaki 1: kc OSO... pare OSO... Lalaki 2 : ngehhh!!! mamatay ka sa kakornihan --------------------------------------------------- Therapist: To what animal do you compare your penis??? Juan: Lion!!! its strong!!! Pedro: giraffe!!! coz its long Boy: Mouse!!! Juan and Pedro: What??? Why mouse??? Boy: Coz its chased by pussies!!! --------------------------------------------------- Pare 1: Ang gara ng sapatos mo pare!!! Pare 2: Sorpresa ng misis ko.. Pare 1: saan nabili?? Pare 2: ewan ko!!! nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama kaninang umaga, may medyas pa nga eh!!! ----------------------------------------------------- Host: ilang taon na kayo lolo??mananawagan ba kayo?? Lolo: opo, 98 na po... Host: Wow, tanda niyo na pala... sige po manawagan na kayo.. Lolo: kuya, umuwi ka na.. hindi na galit si daddy sa yo!!! ---------------------------------------------------- In the middle of a baptismal rite, the bishop officiating said: "ang lambot ng ulo ng bata" The pretty mother replied: "Father, dede ko yan!!!!" --------------------------------------------------- Reporter: Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na??? Manny: Anong bill??yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawat round sa bukseng??? --------------------------------------------------- Isang araw, may isang Ponkan at isang apple sa loob ng ref. Sabi ng apple.. WWWuuuu ang lammmeeegggg!!! napasigaw si ponkan... wwwwaaahhhhh!!!!! nagsasalita yung mansanas!!!! --------------------------------------------------- Speaker: who among you had experienced habing SEX with a ghost??? A farmer raised his hand. Speaker: R... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 15 | | 2007-05-20 07:30:11 | | While on the Bus Boy: I hate when i see a girl standing in a bus when i am comfortably seated Girl: so what do u do? Boy: i just close my eyes -------------------------------- Madaling magkasakit ang mga cute... ang mga crush ng bayan... ang ma appeal at henyo... ang kind, thoughtful, smart, sweet, malakas ang karisma... ang.... sama ng pakiramdam ko... ------------------------------- Sa impiyerno Satanas: Papipiliin kita ng gusto mong parusa sa yo!!! mamili ka sa tatlong kuwarto ng kaparusahan!! Binuksan ang unang kuwarto, isang lalaki ang nakakadena habang unti unting lumulubog sa dagat ng apoy.. Boy: ayoko diyan!!! Binuksan ang pangalawang kuwarto: isang lalaki ang nakakadena nilalatigo!! Boy: ayoko riyan!!! Binuksan ang pangatlong kuwarto: isang matandang lalaki nakakadena habang bini-bj ng isang magandang babae. Boy: Diyan!!! dyan ako dapat!!! Satanas: (kinalabit ang magandang babae) May kapalit ka na!!! ------------------------------ Dalawang lalaki umiinom sa bar M1: Hoy!!! nakasex ko ang nanay mo!!! M2 Walang kibo M1: pare sabi ko nakasex ko ang nanay mo!!! M2: hay nako!! lasing ka na!!! Uwi ka na itay!!! tsk!!! ----------------------------- Sabi nila ang pinakamalibog daw na hayop ay kabayo!!! pero maraming tao nagsasabi COW daw!!! COW nga ba?? siguro COW nga di ba COW?? ------------------------------ Blond says to the doctor: “I think my boobs are full of water” Doctor: How do you figure that?” Blond: “Everytime a guy squeezes them, my pussy gets wet” ------------------------------ Recharge Recharge Recharge Sus dong!!! San ba si rofa???!!!! -- Annabelle rama ----------------------------- I have a story Meron isang lalake who rented a room, at nagtataka siya kung bakit maingay ang kabilang room kahit wala naman tao. Silip siya sa may butas, all he can see was red color. Confused, he ask the janitor kung bakit ganun!!! Janitor explained Meron kasi namatay dyan na... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 14 | | 2007-04-30 01:33:46 | | "filipino class"Guro: juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay...Juan: Ahem. " ang tatay ay nadapa.. Tayo tay!! tayo tay!!!"------------------------------------------------------ang pagkakaibigan...parang bulate sa puwet hindi mo makikita yun...pero ikaw lang ang nakakadama ng kiliti nito...salamat ha!!! dahil isa kang bulate sa puwet ko !!!ang kati mo friend!!!-------------------------------------------------------kung pangarap mong mahalin ka ng isang tao ng totoo at tunay at hindi ka lolokohin...Txt mo si Prospero Pichay!!!Pangarap niyang tuparin ang pangarap mo!!!!---------------------------------------------------------There was a mommy fish who got separated from her baby fish...When they saw each other again after a very long time..the mommy fish said to the baby fish...ISDA you?? :)-----------------------------------------------------------Mahirap isipin at pag-isipan na ang taon iniisip mo ay hindi man lang lubos na makaisip na isipin ka...naisip mo ba ang nais ipaisip ng isip ko??Pag-isipan mo baka sakaling maisip mong isipin ako...------------------------------------------------------------kapag maraming ngaaway sau...tawagin mo lng ako at sabay natin sabhin ang...kapangyarihan ng taba...taglay ay mantika..kambal na biik..kami ang....SUPER PIGS!-----------------------------------------------------------Minsan pagsapit ng umaga...nakakasawa na yung mga bati na...Gud am!!!Eat your breakfast!!!or Have a nice day!!!para maiba namankape tau kahit tig-isang Timba lang :)-----------------------------------------------------------May 7 baboy sa 1 box..may 23 pairs na pato at isang pusa...ang isang pato ay nakakain ng 56 na uod...tapos may 5 langgamewRelax!!! walang tanong... Gandang umaga!!!-----------------------------------------------------------Newly wedWife: ang liit ng bird mo hon!! may tattoo na ELMO, sakto lang mga letra...Husband: maliit ba?? patigasin mo at basahin mo agad!!Wife: Oh Shit!!! ELfilibusterisMO!!!----------------------------------------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 13 | | 2007-04-05 18:19:09 | | PINOY SIGNSPosted outside a house in Jaro, Iloilo :HOURSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED (Boy, it must really be hot in there.)On a glass window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan :WE SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU WAIT Posted at a construction site in Mandaluyong:BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHULI, BOG-BOG! On the fence of a makeshift parking lot in Pasay :PARKING PEE: P10 Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City :We Almost Have Complete Set of Gym Equipments (Now, how's that for truth in advertising?)In a supermarket in Baguio :FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE Outside a flower shop along Avenida Rizal:WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS In a bowling center in Congressional:PARKING FOR COSTUMERS ONLY In a restaurant in Cebu :WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL On the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue near National Bookstore (but this was a long time ago):WANTED: WAITER, CASHIER, WASHIER In San Andres, Manila :NO URINATION ON THE OVER WALLS In a classified ads section:WANTED SALESLADY, 20-25 YEARS OLD, PROBABLY SINGLE Outside a sari-sari store in front of Green Valley in Baguio :NO CRIDET In a building in Cubao:NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY Outside a videoke bar in Pampanga:WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE The name of a laundry shop in Bo. Kapitolyo in Pasig :CINNAVON On the gate of a house in Tarlac:COLD ICED BUKO 4 SALE Posted outside a beauty shop in Laguna:WE ALSO DO FULL BODY MESSAGE In Tiaong, Quezon:ROAN'S CONTRACTION SUPPLIES Outside a shoe store in Pangasinan:WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES In a restaurant in Baguio :WANTED: BOY WAITRESS --------------------------------------------------------Names of Philippine business establishmentsIf you still speak some Filipino, you might enjoy the humor; otherwise, pass it on to your Filipino-speaking friends. The humor gets lost in the translationBread Pitt is a a bakery.Maruya Carey is a a fast-food place selling turon and maruya in Greenbelt , MakatiCaintacky Fried Chicken is a an eatery in Cainta, Rizal.Mang Donald's is a a b... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 12 | | 2007-03-17 20:17:07 | | SHIT TALK:JERBS,JERBAK = taeTUBOL = taeng mtigas, gabato, msakit sa pwet.MEKIKWEKWEK = eto ung mlamig na talsik ng tubig sa pwet pag natutubol.BURABUS = sabog na tae, kalat sa buong inidoro.BUGRET = taeng malambot, may mga gulay, bits, corn, bellpepper.HUDINI = taeng biglang nawawala, wala ka ng ifaflush.MCARTHUR = taeng bumabalik pagakatpos i-flush. I shall return!!!!LIGAPOT = taeng tubig, diarrhea, mabaho!!!BAHID = taeng nasa panty at brief dulot ng UST.UST = utot sabay tae.------------------------TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?BOY#1: Naglaba mam!TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?BOY#2: Naglalaba!TITSER: Tama! Ano naman ang FUTURE TENSE?BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!------------------------AMERICAN ENGLISH: Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!!!!IN TAGALOG: kain lang kayo ng kain,walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to! Gago!!!------------------------MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:PRESIDENT- pasimuno.VICE PRESIDENT- kunsitidor.SECRETARY- palsipikador.TREASURER- kubrador.AUDITOR- kasabwat.PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER- tsismoso.REPRESENTATIVES- pahamak.SPOKESMAN- bolero.SGT-AT-ARMS- tirador.ADVISER- taga sulsol. (mas tama di bah?)-------------------------JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!JUAN: Paano?TATAY: KANG GUD!-------------------------Do you know what is Vine TEA???Vine Tea...Vine Tea is actually a sukli, when your money is Php50, when you load 30...so your sukli isVine Tea right!!! heheheh....-------------------------Street Vendor: "bili na kayo relo!!! Goldwatch ito!!!"Pag namuti, white gold!!!Pag huminto, stopwatch!!!!-------------------------Juan: pare, nsusuka ko kaya lang hindi ako masuka.Pedro: madali lang yun pare, sundot mo tonsil mo.(sinundot ang tonsil)Juan: hindi pa din ehPedro: try mo sundot puwet mo.(sinundot ang pwet)Juan: ayaw pa din eh..Pedro: ngayon ska mo isundot ulit sa bibig mo.--------------------------May mga Jokes n... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 11 | | 2007-03-07 08:35:17 | | Congratulations to Batch 2007 !!! Happy Graduation !!!! Happy Commencement Day !!! Maligayang Pagtatapos !!! Welcome to the world of happily unemployed/employed !!! Good luck to you all !!!-----------------------------------Q: Anong apelyido ni Sisa?A: Sisa MistritQ: Anong apelyido ni Cedie?A: Cedie PlayerQ: Anong apleyido ni Beast?A: Beast KwitQ: Anong first name ni Nemo?A: Sarahgero NemoQ: Anong apelyido ni Punisher?A: Punisher RannoQ: Anong apelyido ni Denzel?A: Denzel WetaQ: Anong apelyido ni Curly?A: Curly GazpiQ: Ano last name ni Anchor?A: Anchor TisQ: Ano last name ni Jewel?A: Jewel TorreQ: Ano last name ni Kula?A: Kula DesmaQ: Ano surname ni Joseph?A: Joseph ProtgamQ: Anong apelyido ni Aiko?A: Aiko ZadaQ: Anong apelyido ni Christopher?A: Christopher MinuteQ: Anong apelyido ni Palito?A: Palito LippiQ: Anong first name ni Keno?A: Krisa KenoQ: Ano first name ni Janno?A: Eduman JannoQ: Ano first name ni Squall?A: Piolopa SquallQ: Ano first name ni Basilio?A: Lacto BasilioQ: Ano first name ni Pikachu?A: Cherrypie PikachuQ: Ano first name ni Kenny G?A: Johnep Kenny GQ: ano ang first name ni Volta?A: Johntra VoltaQ: Ano first name ni Diether?A: Tirso Cruz Diether--------------------------------------Spelling can kill you. watch out:Husband on an out of town assignment. sent a text to wife..."Trip is wonderful!!! Am having a good time...Wish you were Her!" :)--------------------------------------Four Job applicants were asked: What is the fastest thing in the world???German says: THOUGHTAmerican says: BLINK of an EyeAussie says: Light SwitchJuan d Pinoy says: DIARRHEA!!!Juan: Lit mi eksplin, dis murning, i hab istumak eek, i run to di tuylet but bipur i kud tink, blenk, or eben swits un di lyt, tangina!! dir was syit en my pants olridi su past!!! :)---------------------------------------Boy: May I hold your hand?Girl: No thanks, di naman siya heavy...---------------------------------------Ang lungkot mo sa buhay ay ayaw humupa..Huwag mabahala o mabalisa...Andito ako... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 10 | | 2007-02-22 03:27:55 | | Congratulations to Batch 2007 !!! Happy Graduation !!!! Happy Commencement Day !!! Maligayang Pagtatapos !!! Welcome to the world of happily unemployed/employed !!! Good luck to you all !!!------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------"hindi ibig sabihing marami ng labi ang dumampi sa akin ay marumi no...hindi ibig sabihing marami ng laway ang natikman ko ay wala na akong dangal..."---kutsara---------------------------------------------------------------------------Ito ang message na sigurado ifo-forward mo:"GAGALISIN ANG PUWET NG HULING MAKAKATANGGAP NITO"yahooo!! Safe na ako... sori na lang sa mga walang load!!!!----------------------------------------------------------------------------HEADLINEDalawang matandang babae... nagjojogging sa plaza.. na-rape!!!Kinabukasan...Plaza nagkagulo... nagkatraffic..Dahil libo libong matanda ang ngayon ay nagjojogging!!!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kadalasan, nakakatakot ang magmahal,dahil nakakatakot masaktan, mahirap umasa,nakakatakot ding mapaglaruan.Pero di ba, mas nakakatakot kapag nalaman mo na kapatid mo pala si mahal?at tatay mo si dagul?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nahuli ni lalaki ang asawa na ka- sex ang kapitbahay!!! Binaril yung kapitbahay, patay!Wife: Grabe ka naman!!!! Kapag di mo binago ugali mo, mauubos ang mga kapitbahay natin!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Be friendly with your kids, they choose your ... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 9 | | 2007-02-15 05:26:58 | | Wishin you the warmth, happiness and goodwill of the season...And all the best that new year can bring...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!Walang pakialamanan...Malamig eh!!!-----------------------------------------------------------If good looks could kill, don’t look at me.I don’t want to see you die.------------------------------------------------------------Erap to Loi: Wow ang bango mo ngayon ah! Anong gamit mong pabango?Loi: Secret!!!Erap: Secret? Di ba pinapahid yun sa kili-kili?------------------------------------------------------------Days are made special with a smile.So smile at everyone, smile at everything...Smile anywhere , smile anytime....A friendly reminder from PHILIPPINE MENTAL HOSPITAL.------------------------------------------------------------In a petshop, customer talks to a parrot.CUSTOMER: hoy!!! Can you talk ha??? Bobo!!!PARROT: yes I can!!!! Ikaw? Can you fly ha? Can you fly? Gago!-----------------------------------------------------------Bakit ba may mga taong manhid???Sobrang sweet mo na nga akala mabait ka lang....Text mo ng sweet messages iisipin forwarded quote lang....Sabihin mong mahal mo sya akala nya joke lang…------------------------------------------------------------Reporter: Mr. President. How many women do you believe must a man marry?Erap : 16 !!Reporter: Why ?Erap : Because the priest says: 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.------------------------------------------------------------Dati tuwang-tuwa ako kapag inaasar kita....Tuwang-tuwa ako pag naiinis ka....Tapos sabi mo…Lalayo ka, ayaw mo nakong makita…Sabi ko… “Huwag! Mahal na kita!”Sabi mo… “Nangaasar ka ba?”------------------------------------------------------------Maglalaro si Erap sa milyon milyon na? Game ka na ba?Kris: ilang litro meron ang coke litro?Erap: ang dali dali nyan! liter C, liter O, liter K, and liter E. may mas mahirap ba dyan?-------------------------------------------------------------List of cartoon characters that are bad influences ... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 8 | | 2007-02-12 01:57:44 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcomMaligayang Araw ng mga Puso !!!! Happy Valentines Day !!!!---------------------------------------------This message is strictly for CUTE and CHARMING persons only… since you received this message… we deeply apologize for the disturbance due to technical error… Happy Valentine's day !!!----------------------------------------------------------------A lawyer driving on a hi-way notices a crowd in an intersection. With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action.. He shouted, "im the son of the victim." upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through. there he saw, bloody and helpless lying infront of the people. A pig bumped by a trailer truck.--------------------------------------When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive. Never try to give up on life. Why? Come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm ma-reach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka!!---------------------------------------We are born beautiful… Some were just born…----------------------------------------A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. The baby asked, "does this mean I'm an angel?" fairy laughs, "of course not!!!! negrang to!!!. ambisyosa! paniki ka!!!"---------------------------------------A fat farmer was in the RestRoom trying to flush his shit when suddenly the toilet bowl broke and bursted…. The shit flooded into the wheatfields then POOF!!! it became koko krunch!---------------------------------------A lizard fell on a table. Genius: "Oh reptila scincidae" Kikay: "eew lizard"Astig: "Shit butiki"Mataray: "Shucks, tiki."Mayaman: "Yuck Lacoste."Mahirap: "Pare! ulam!!"----------------------------------------A couple at the wishing well.Husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin.Wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns.Husband: "hala! bilis naman!"---------------------------------------------------------G... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and funny SMS Text Messages Number Wan | | 2007-02-05 00:04:27 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcom----------------------------The SinnerSinner: Father 4give me for I have sinned. Im sexually preoccupied and often read dirty jokes and graphics from my celfonePriest: child, can you be my textmate?------------------MagkumareMrs Wan: oh mare bt ka umiiyak?Mrs Tu: Nag-away kami ni pare, gusto niya sex kame style aso, tumanggi akoMrs Wan: Masarap naman yun ah?Mrs Tu:Masarap nga, kaso ang gusto niya sa kalsada!-------------------Juan at PedroJuan: Pre, san ka galing?Pedro: sa sementeryo, Libing ng biyenan koJuan:Eh bat ang dami kong kalmot sa braso at mukhaPedro: ang hirap ilibing eh, Lumalaban-------------------BF: sunduin kita mamaya,bubusina nalang ako sa kapag nasa harap na ng bahay nyoGF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyanBF: Wala, busina lang-------------------May TITI ka ba?T- tiwala saI - iyongT- tunay naI- iniibigPuwes, i-text mo siya at sabihin"Loves anlaki ng TITI ko par... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and funny SMS Text Messages Number Tu | | 2007-02-05 00:03:58 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcom--------------------------A Colegiala was interviewed...Question: whats the difference between a penis and a Kamote?Colegiala: yak naman!!! as in hellooo?? I dont eat kamote noh.. how can i compare?!--------------------------GRO: Miss pabili ng condom, dalawang dosenaTindera: wow!! Dami naman… Fully booked ba ngayon??GRO: hindi naman.. may 3-day sale lang…----------------------------------Teacher: Give me colors that begin with letter “M”Pupil: Maroon!!!Teacher: Anybody else??Ngongo: Mlue, Mrawn, mlak, maiolet…Teacher: Mery ngood!!!----------------------------------Pedro: Galing ako sa doctor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid grabe ang linaw na ng pandinig koJuan: talga?! Magkano ang bili mo?Pedro: Kahapon lang…----------------------------------Apo: Lola pano kung isang araw ay umulan ng titi.. ano ang gagawin nyo??Lola: Naku apo… kulimlim pa lang ay hubo na ako…-... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and funny SMS Text Messages Number Tri | | 2007-02-05 00:03:26 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcom---------------------------------Wife puts Viagra on Husband coffee to add sex drive… after drinking, husband grab and fucked her on the table.. Wife shouts and cried… “Tang-ina naman”… Wag naman dito sa Jolibee!!!” ---------------------------------- Oi, watch ka CNN News!!! Manny Pacquio disqualified by Nevada Athletic Comission!!! Drugs found in his urine!!! Puro ALAXAN, CIRCULAN & ROBITUSSIN!!! May DATU PUTI pa!!! ---------------------------------- Girl: taguan tayo.. Pag nakita mo ko papayag akong makipag sex sa yo… Boy: eh paano kung hindi kita mahanap?? Girl: ehh.. basta nasa likod lang ako ng pinto!!! ---------------------------------- Patient: Dok, malungkot ako dito sa mental… kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang aking sarili… Doctor: ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo?? Patient: aba.. ewan!!! Next week ko pa... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and funny SMS Text Messages Number Por | | 2007-02-05 00:02:45 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcom----------------------------------------------------------Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang hindi mo kayang bilangin?Anak: mas bobo si itay nay, kasi nadinig ko minsan sabi, “Tama na inday hanggang tatlo lang ang kaya ko”-----------------------------------------Apo: Lola pupunta lang kami sa tipar!!!Lola: Ano bang tipar ang pinagsasabi nyo?Apo: Tipar is PartyLola: Puro salitang kanto ang alam nyo…mga PAKINSHET kayo!!!!-----------------------------------------Anak: Tays! Kains na tayos!!!Ama: Gago!!! Tigilan mo ang kakalagay ng “s” sa salita mo!!! Ano ba ulam?Anak: inigang na bangu na may ibuya at kamati… hmmmm… arap ng abaw!!!----------------------------------------Gud PM!!! May wallet akong binebenta galing US….kunin mo na!!! Worth $200…Mahal kasi ang balat ng TITI!!! Naipon sa pinagtulian… kapag hinimas mo lumalaki, nagiging maleta!!! Order ka?----------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages Siks | | 2007-02-05 00:02:09 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcomMerry Christmas!!! Merry Xmas !!! Maligayang Pasko !!! Happy New Year !!! Manigong Bagong Taon sa Inyong Lahat !!!!------------------------------------------PEDRO: Miss, pabili nga ng bolpen.MISS: Sorry po sir, wala po kaming bolpen.[Inis na lumabas si Pedro sa tindahan.PEDRO: My God! Penshoppe walang bolpen! Haller!-------------------------------------------Textmate Addict 1: Friend, my taning na ang buhay ko! Last nyt ko na to kya txt tau buong gabiTextmate Addict 2: Heh! Tumigil ka nga, maaga pa gising ko bukas buti ikaw hindi na gigising!!!!-------------------------------------------bakit hindi tinatagalog ang NO ID NO ENTRY sa gate lalo n s paaraalan?kc pg tinagalog yun, ang kalalabasan, "WALANG ID WALANG PASOK!" Yahoo! uwian na!-------------------------------------------Beggar: boss palimos po!Student: iinom ka? mgsusugal o mgddroga?Beggar: wala po akong bisyo.Student: ok !!!!! sama ka skin pra malamn ng nanay ko ang nangyayari sa taong walang bisyo!!!!-------------------------------------------Tatay: bagsak k n nmn!!!!! Bakit hindi mo gayahin si Pedro???? Palaging may honor!!!!Anak: unfair naman tay kung ikukumpara niyo ako kay Pedro!!!!!Tatay: at bkit naman aber????Anak: matalino kaya tatay nun!!!!------------------------------------------I may not be present with you everyday but 1 thing I promise you.I’ll be there on your wedding day, I’m going to sit beside you while saying the words,"yes!!!! Kainan naaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!”------------------------------------------Alam ko friend mo lang ako.Walang karapatan makialam sa decision mo...sa buhay mo...Pero wag lang my makita akong luha sa mata mo!!!Promise papatay ako!!!!!Nang manok pra my pulutan tayo!!!!------------------------------------------Para mapatunayan ko n kaibigan mo ako.....Aakyatin ko ang Mt.Everest ng naka-wheelchair.mapatunayan mo naman na kaibigan kta.Ikaw ang taga-tulak!!!!--------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages Seben | | 2007-02-05 00:01:15 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcomMerry Christmas!!! Merry Xmas !!! Maligayang Pasko !!! Happy New Year !!! Manigong Bagong Taon sa Inyong Lahat !!!!-----------------------------Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy"**Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang"**Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress"**Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"**Kung mayaman ka, "pneumonia" daw ang sakit mo**Kung mahirap, "TB" yon**Sa mayaman, "hyperacidity"**Kapag mahirap, "ulcer" dahil walang laman ang tiyan**Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac"**Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"**Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric"**Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad"**Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine"**Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom"**Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic"**Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"**Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "sun tanned"**Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga"**Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay "petite"**Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot"**Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump"**Kapag mahirap ka, ika'y "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba"...pagminamalas ka,"baboy"**Kapag mayaman, "fasting" ang hindi kumain**Kung mahirap, "nagtitiis"**Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay"socialite"**Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pok-pok"**Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated"**Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi"**Kapag mayaman, "misguided" o "spoiled" ka**Kung mahirap ka, "addict" o "durugista"**Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent"**Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada"**Kapag mayaman at sexy, "fashionable"... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
| | Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages Payb | | 2007-02-02 03:17:41 | | Note: Please Support this site.... send your Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages to pinoyjokeatgmaildotcom----------------------------------------------Pulis1: pre, alam mo naba ang usap-usapan?Pulis2: bakit pre anong balita?Pulis1: may bading daw sa campo ntin?Pulis2: sino daw pre?Pulis1: kiss muna!----------------------------------------------Some say the ugliest animel is hippopotamus! but you know what? more people say, COW daw! What do you think? COW ba talaga?----------------------------------------------Son: Father can you close your eyes and write your name?Father: Of course I can that’s easy!Son: Then, please close your eyes and sign my report card?----------------------------------------------Teacher: what’s your name?Pupil: early seven strikeland po!Teacher: niloloko mo ba ko?Pupil: hindi po, yan ang name ko sa inglis! Sa pilipino po, Agapito Hampaslupa.-----------------------------------------------a girl's prayerdear God, thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me.this time, I won;t ask anything for myself. please just give my parents a hot son-in-law! Amen!-----------------------------------------------a husband came home 4am and saw his wife in bed with another man.his wife shouted at him: "where have you been?"Husband: "Who's that man?"Wife: "Ay grabe ka! don't change the topic!"-----------------------------------------------Isang gabi, may lalakeng nasiraan ng auto sa isang liblib na bayan. Wala namang sira, marami pang gas. Weird. May ermitanyo sa may puno ng balete n lumapit. Ibinebenta daw ang isang libro, P1000 daw. Namamahalan siya pero npilitan syang bilhin. Sbi ng mtanda, wag titignan ang huling pahina kundi magsisisi siya. Tapos, nwala ang mtanda. Umandar ang kotse. Sa bahay, di siya makatulog. Kinuha ang libro, tinignan ang huling pahina. Ang nakasulat, NATIONAL BOOK STORE – P47.75-----------------------------------------------ang magkaibigan, saan man makarating. Ay umuuwi rin.-----------------------------------... | | By: Pinoy Jokes,Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages,Pinoy Fu | | |
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