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| Articles about Humor |
| Humor: aumento de ordenado | | 2008-07-04 01:15:00 | | Temos de fazer um esforço para ultrapassar a «crise», aumentando a criatividade, por isso aqui deixo uma pequena estória adaptada da que recebi por email desta proveniência:«O jovem empregado, ambicioso, vai ao gabinete do «chefe»: - Senhor director, vim aqui para lhe pedir um aumento. E adianto já que há quatro empresas atrás de mim. O patrão, vendo no jovem funcionário um talento promissor, aumenta-lhe o salário em 35%. - Afinal as empresas só valorizam os funcionários quando eles recebem outras propostas...- Mas mate-me a curiosidade, meu rapaz. Pode dizer-me, sob sigilo é claro, quais são essas quatro empresas? - Claro que sim! A da luz, água, telefone e a sociedade financeira do cartão de crédito... »PS: Cuidado, não force muito a nota. Receio de que para ultrapassar a crise tenha de ser ainda mais criativo. Não repita esta estória porque em vez de quatro podem passar a ser dez as empresas que andem atrás de si, ... depois de ter sido despedido.
| | By: Nothingandall | | |
| | | Humor jokes- Last Rites | | 2008-07-01 02:07:00 | | A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around."A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind."A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again.Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age."Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to the dying man. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice:"B - 4. I - 19. N - 38. G - 54. O - 72." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
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| Humor jokes-New EU Directive | | 2008-06-28 02:09:01 | | In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a Penny' is not to be used after 31st December 2009.From this date, the correct terminology will be: 'Euronating' | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Why did humor evolve? | | 2008-06-27 19:58:53 | | A new publication answers centuries' old questions regarding the mechanism and function of humour, identifying the reason humour is common to all human societies, its fundamental role in the evolution of homo sapiens and its continuing importance in the cognitive development of infants.
read more | | By: Machines Like Us - Science and Technology News | | |
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| Humor jokes-The Lone Ranger | | 2008-06-26 02:09:02 | | The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"The Lone Ranger said, "I do, Why?"The cowboy said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was about to die from heat exhaustion.The Lone Ranger got water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and said, "I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to help cool him down."Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and begins running circles around Silver.Unable to do anything except wait, the Lone Ranger returns to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse out side?"The Lone Ranger stands and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"The cowboy looks him in the eye and | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Sarcastic humor in Life-The worst animal rescue | | 2008-06-26 02:08:01 | | During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on January 14th they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree.They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!.. | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Short humor jokes-Bobbing | | 2008-06-26 02:05:00 | | Michael Jackson tried killing himself Wednesday morning by jumping off his boat . The police found him last night bobbing up and down on a small buoy. | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Humor for Colonoscopy Test | | 2008-06-25 08:23:48 | | Hope you enjoyed it (the description, not the procedure) as much as I did! Everyone needs a little smile on a Wednesday morning!
Subject: Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal
... I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands | | By: Weight Loss | | |
| | Humor jokes-Bury at Sea | | 2008-06-25 02:18:49 | | Eugene Sills went to see his attorney to make a will. When it was all done, he told the lawyer that he wanted only one more thing added ....he wanted to be buried at sea."But why?" the lawyer asked."That's so my wife can be taken care of if she goes ahead with her threat to dance on my grave." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Now what? | | 2008-06-23 02:09:27 | | A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.After watching Little Johnny efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"To which Little Johnny replies, "Now we run!" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor Hero's Presidential Campaign Continues | | 2008-06-21 22:16:57 | | Though I haven't seen a single vote in a single primary election, in the spirit of Billary, I hereby vow that my campaign for the presidency will continue until I have no dignity left! (In other words, my last speech will be given in my birthday suit.) I will not unveil any additional presidential plans, however. The Obama-Clinton race has sucked the political will out of me. In any case, | | By: Humor Hero | | |
| | Humor Hero Returns After Hiatus | | 2008-06-21 22:12:47 | | I have returned from time well spent in a posh, island paradise. During my travels I ate enough for seven men, enjoyed the sightseeing (sometimes too much), and bumped into about 10,000 Japanese tourists who love the idea of a weak American dollar. I came to Hawaii intending to urinate in the Pacific Ocean, but the Ocean had other ideas, soundly trouncing me into submission with every opportunity | | By: Humor Hero | | |
| | Humor jokes-Days of the week | | 2008-06-21 02:07:01 | | Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it's a workday again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans. Hence the day is known as Tootsday.By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.Too bleary to even count properly, people think it's only Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it's erroneously called Thirdsday.On the last day of the workweek, people often go out "for a few" after work. By the time they get home, they're too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken, orfish in the skillet. That's why the day is known as Fryday.Saturday night all the singles let loose. There's a lot of sexual hijinks. It's pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday.And on the last day of the wee | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-New Lexus | | 2008-06-19 02:25:41 | | A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working."Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying "On The Road Again" when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attentionto the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision."Idiot!" she yelled and, from the radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Funny jokes-Senior humor | | 2008-06-17 02:03:00 | | Three old guys, hard of hearing, are out walking.First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | | Tax Humor: New Tax Foundation YouTube Video | | 2008-06-15 23:00:00 | | Why is it so difficult to enact meaningful tax reform? It would take us all day to write a comprehensive answer to that question, but if you're searching for a quick, amusing answer, take a look at our new video on YouTube, "Takin' on the Tax Code." The video pokes fun at some of the special interests that create roadblocks to tax reform. In addition to injecting some laughter into the tax debates, this video should get everyone thinking seriously about the obstacles to fundamental reform and what needs to be done to keep the tax reform movement on track.Click here or below to watch the video. Click here for the Tax Freedom Day song and video. Click here for more on tax reform. | | By: Tax Policy Blog | | |
| | Humor jokes-Dangerous situation | | 2008-06-14 02:09:43 | | On your left are 3 Ostriches. On your right is a herd of gazelles being chased by a lion.In front of you are 4 deer. Behind you are 5 stampeding horses.What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?Get off the Merry-Go-Round! | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Jarana - Curiosidades, humor y mucho más [Reactivado] | | 2008-06-12 01:00:21 | | Hace ya casi cinco meses había reactivado uno de mis blogs, Jarana. Por cosas de la vida me tocó dejarlo botado, pero desde hace un tiempo para acá lo he venido actualizándolo casi a diario. Se trata de un blog lleno de humor en el que podrás encontrar chistes, imágenes curiosas, imágenes graciosas, ilusiones ópticas, videos [...] | | By: Trazos web | | |
| | Humor jokes-Time up | | 2008-06-11 02:09:01 | | A 45 -yr. old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital to have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.Arriving in front of God, she demanded,"I thought you said I had another 43 years, 2 months and 8 daysWhy didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"God : "didn't recognize you at that time" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Humor at home | | 2008-06-10 05:31:59 | |
What is the value of humor at home? In today’s time, I will say it has tremendous value. It is now imperative to instill humor (even if that is purposive) at home. Today, kids are growing up in an environment that is full of tension and stress. Fathers have their work tension. Mothers too have [...] | | By: Good Parenting | | |
| | Humor jokes-Last meal | | 2008-06-09 02:04:00 | | Three guys are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.The Italian responds, Pepperoni Pizza, which he is served and then executed.The Frenchmen requests a Fillet Mignon, which he is served and then executed.The Newf requests a plate of strawberries."STRAWBERRIES ????""Yes, Strawberries."He is told "But they are out of season!""So, I'll wait." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | VC Humor Gary Snoman | | 2008-06-08 07:45:12 | | Blue Print Ventures has a series of videos featuring the entrepreneur Gary Snoman, that are about fall down funny to read. Some of them are also out on YouTube, meaning you can cut and share them. So what it is really like being a Venture Capitalist, let Gary show you the way.
There is something [...] | | By: techwag | | |
| | Short humor jokes-Responsible | | 2008-06-07 02:04:00 | | In this job we need someone who is responsible, " said the employer."Then I'm your man," answered the potential employee. "On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible. | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Bush is only funny if you like your humor black | | 2008-06-06 15:23:25 | | I can hear arguing from the offices down the hall where I work. Can't quite make out what they're saying until I hear one woman's voice, suddenly louder and filled with frustration."Well, I'm gonna vote for whoever the hell can undo the mess Bush has made!"Then I realize she must be talking to the office manager of the union headquarters down the hall. The office manager, a sweet and kindhearted woman, is so disappointed that Hilary Clinton didn't get the Democratic nomination for president that she's planning to vote for John McCain.I've talked to her about this myself, even saying, "Is that what you think Hilary would want you to do?""I don't care," she said, "it's just not right, it's just not fair she didn't win. They stole the nomination from her."So what I feel like doing, if McCain wins, is throwing it in her face every time that:A soldier is killed in Iraq or Afghanistan A storm linked to global warming devastates our coast (or any other country's)Unemployment goes upWell, | | By: Michaelann Land | | |
| | Nova campanha do Governo em combate ao fumo vira tirinha de humor | | 2008-06-06 14:01:48 | | No final do mês passado fiz um post mostrando as novas imagens que serão imrpessas nos maços de cigarro. São imagens fortes, clique aqui para revê-las.
Pois bem, estão surgindo agora algumas piadinhas sobre o assunto. Abaixo uma que está rodando os e-mails esta semana.
Leia também:Centrum reforça tom emocional em sua campanhaBullet cria ação de Páscoa [...] | | By: aletp | | |
| | Humor jokes-Merchandise exchange | | 2008-06-06 12:59:31 | | A preacher riding on a bicycle came across a boy of his church group trying to sell an old lawn mower. Preacher asked why he was selling the lawn mover. The boy explained his Dad told him that if he sold the old lawn mover and then he could buy a new bicycle for himself for the money he gets.So the kindly preacher asked the boy if he would trade boy's lawn mover for preacher's bike. The boy agreed and they exchanged the merchandise.The preacher tried to start the engine of the lawn mower by pulling the string several times but the lawn mover would not start. So he asked the boy what was the trick to start?. The boy explained, you have to cuss at it until it starts.The preacher laughed, and said, Boy, ever since I took the vow of preacher-hood, I have given up, never spoken and forgotten bad words of Cussing.The boy said, Keep on pulling the string, they will come back to you, and then it will start. | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Really Call Centre | | 2008-06-04 02:08:01 | | Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Humor jokes-Can't sleep | | 2008-06-03 02:04:00 | | It's 3:00 A.M. and Mona wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. "Morris, why can't you sleep?" she asks him."You know our next door neighbor, Patel. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it's due tomorrow morning and I don't have the money.I don't know what I'm going to do." Mohinder replies.Mona gets out of bed and opens the window. "Patel!" she shouts, and several times more, "Patel! Patel!" Finally a very groggy Patel opens the window opposite her and yells back, "What, what is it? It's 3 AM, what do you want?"Mona says, "You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn't have it."She then slams the window shut and turns to Mohinder and says, "Now you go to sleep and let Sam pace the floor." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | | Humor in Uniform-Female crew | | 2008-05-31 02:10:02 | | While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan "An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"When the attendant came by he said "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female.""My God," he said, "I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit." "That's another thing, Sargeant," said the crew member, "We no longer call it the Cockpit""It's The Box Office" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Aptitude Test | | 2008-05-31 02:07:01 | | Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test:Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?Little Johnny: SEVEN!Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?Little Johnny: SEVEN!Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?Little Johnny: SIX.Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?Little Johnny: SEVEN!Tester: How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?Little Johnny: I've already got one rabbit at home now! | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Nuts | | 2008-05-30 02:04:00 | | While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off.Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up.Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off". | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | | Humor jokes-Snoring | | 2008-05-29 02:09:01 | | Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.They said, "Man, what happened to you?"He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot.They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man.The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning," he said.They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happene | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Gee I wish I had a humor blog like this! | | 2008-05-28 05:22:05 | | I must admit I'm really envious of this cool funny blog. I've always wanted to start my own humor blog composed of funny videos, stories and pictures. In fact, I did start a humor blog sometime ago but I just couldn't sustain posting on it because of other priority blogs. Now all I can do is ogle at this awesome funny videos blog and dream of what could have been for my own. It's not too late though. I can still take some pointers out of this absolute beauty of a website.Bushleague.tv is just an absolutely entertaining website. After browsing and reading through several different articles, I'm convinced I can take bushleague.tv as a sort of role model for my own humor blog. Come to think of it, bush league isn't about anything specific. It just somehow finds everyday stuff and mens lifestyle topics and just really turns it to something worth reading and entertaining!Take this video found below. This guys figures he can pick-up chicks at a renaissance fair instead of the rundown dried-u | | By: Beijing 2008 Olympics Blog | | |
| | | Humor: El tumbe mas grande del mundo!!! | | 2008-05-27 23:15:22 | | Traducción: Hace una semana atrás, compre este USB-Stick de 32 GB a un japones por Ebay por $299 dolares, pagado al instante con transferencia bancaria, una muy buena oferta!Hoy recibí el USB-stick, y me di cuenta que no estaba funcionando, Cuando lo agito, podía escuchar algo moviéndose adentro.Entonces decide abrirlo, para darme cuenta que estaba vació!!!Eh sido engañado por un Japones, y si es así, existe alguna forma de vengarme?Gracias a: http://www.lacurard.com/
| | By: Noticias y Entretenimiento | | |
| | Humor jokes-God will provide | | 2008-05-27 02:08:00 | | A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink."So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man."I am a Torah scholar," he replies."A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?""I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us.""And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father."I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us.""And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?""Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"The father answers, "He h | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-And God created Man | | 2008-05-24 02:08:02 | | GOD created the DONKEY and told him, 'You will work tireless from sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!'The DONKEY answered, 'I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!' and GOD gave him 20 years.GOD created DOG and told him ' You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25years, You will be a DOG!'The DOG answered 'GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.GOD created the MONKEY and told him, 'you will jump from branch to branch you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!'The MONKEY answered ' GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years.Finally, GOD created MAN and told him, 'you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and y | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Marathon | | 2008-05-22 02:07:01 | | It was the finish line of the Boston marathon. A first time runner is hobbling away, having just finished.A grizzled old marathoner looks at him and says "You'll feel a lot worse tomorrow." He pauses and then says, "But the REALLY bad news is that in about 3 days, you're going to think you had fun today!" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Two hillbillies | | 2008-05-19 02:07:01 | | Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'The woman shakes her head no.Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbillywalks slowly back to his table.His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Line of judgement | | 2008-05-19 02:01:01 | | A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss that soul off to one side into a small pile.After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. He strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing. "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?""Oh those . . .," Satan groaned. "They're all from Michigan. They're still too cold and wet to burn." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Humor statements-Pun Intended | | 2008-05-16 02:08:02 | | * I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. * He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. * Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. * A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. * He wears glasses during math because it improves division. * Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted. | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor: Trashing | | 2008-05-15 21:43:46 | | Aunque con la explosión de Internet parece estar un poco de capa caida, al menos no se escucha tanto, en su día el "trashing", o el buscar información en los cubos de basura de las empresas, era una técnica común.
Números de teléfono, información sobre los sistemas, apuntes, reportes, documentos, datos de usuarios, disquetes aparentemente dañados, todo era aprovechable para el atacante. La
| | By: CRYPTEX - Seguridad de la Informacion | | |
| | Humor jokes-Bus | | 2008-05-15 02:08:01 | | The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work, had to drive her if she'd direct him to the school.They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes - but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she'd led him around in such a circle.The child explained, "That's the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It's the only way I know." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Does God have a sense of humor? | | 2008-05-14 11:50:26 | | By Father Lou Guntzelman, who is a Catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Rarely do I see pictures of Christ with a smile, much less a hearty laugh. Religious goods stores say they don't sell. Why? Do such pictures go against childish stereotypes? Are we uncomfortable associating strong positive feelings with God - permitting only those of anger, vengeance or suffering? Why does spirituality always have a sober face? Do we think a God with a sense of humor wouldn't be attuned to our sufferings?In the musical "Annie," Mrs. Hannigan is a den mother for young girls in an orphanage. If she hears laughter from the girls' dormitory, she bursts in angrily and asks, "Do I hear happiness in here?" - Is she an image of God?Nietzsche said, "If they want me to believe in their redeemer, then they'd better look more like they're redeemed." He said a Christian's functional Christ is a black scarecrow that sits gloomily on the tree of life and frightens off a whole range of fluttering joys | | By: Spiritual Village | | |
| | Humor jokes-Little Johnny | | 2008-05-13 02:07:01 | | A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think.''Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like the way you think .'' | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Humor jokes-Three wishes | | 2008-05-09 02:02:02 | | A Bear and a Rabbit didn't like each other very much but were casual friends, One day they met a talking frog in a divine pond. The kind frog offered them each three wishes for being his guests.The Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.The frog granted his wish. The Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet.One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. the Bear was amazed at Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish.He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.The Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.The Bear could not believe it and complained that Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself.Shaking his head, Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.The frog r | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor 360 - Part 2 | | 2008-05-09 00:24:00 | | The grin that follows, the funny side of life, is always a welcome break from the supposedly serious matters which we pursue on a daily basis.
I remember a time when I was training on board T.S. Rajendra at Mumbai. An instructor had this peculiar habit of talking in plurals, so much so that we started calling him Mr. Sharma(s). He was great in his subject which was seamanship but not so much in | | By: First Life 360 | | |
| | Humor jokes-Mad | | 2008-05-08 02:07:02 | | Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone.In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech."Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake."I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter namedSusan.""Wow, Mom," the young woman's voice replied, "I didn't think you'd be this mad!" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor jokes-Movie Tickets | | 2008-05-07 02:22:01 | | I wanted to take my kids to the movies but did not want to wait on line to buy the tickets, so I called ahead to the theater to buy them over the phone.I asked, "How much is a ticket?"They said, "Ten dollars."I asked, "How much for children?"They said, "Same price, Ten dollars."I said, "The airlines charge half fare for children."They said, "Okay, put your kids on a plane to somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Exposição de Cartoon: "ÁGUA COM HUMOR" | | 2008-05-06 21:25:00 | | Este sábado, dia 10 de Maio, pelas 15 horas, vai proceder-se à inauguração da exposição internacional de cartoon “ÁGUA com HUMOR”, na Casa da Cultura Fernando Távora em Aveiro, patente até ao próximo dia 8 de Junho.
Reunindo 150 cartoons sobre o tema da água esta exposição mostra como se pode, com humor, chamar a atenção de todos para um dos principais problemas do mundo... a água. Podem ser | | By: BLOGMAR Caminho Azul | | |
| | | Tom Waits está de buen humor | | 2008-05-05 22:23:22 | | Parece que Tom Waits sobrevivió al espanto del disco de Scarlett Johansson (con covers de sus temas) o quizás tuvo suerte y no lo escuchó porque su sentido del humor está intacto. Ayer anunció su gira por los Estados Unidos con un evento online: una falsa conferencia de prensa en la que explicó que el [...] | | By: Les Paradis Artificiels | | |
| | La crisis subprime explicada en clave de humor | | 2008-05-05 13:19:00 | | Os recomiendo el siguiente vídeo de Youtubehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9MBfDKqliMMe he reído un buen rato.Copio y pego el comentario de Vanitatis, donde lo he encontrado, sobre el vídeo."A veces la economía se llena de explicaciones farragosas que hacen imposible comprender de qué se está hablando exactamente. Algo así ocurre con la crisis 'subprime'. Por suerte los humoristas John Bird y John Fortune, famosos por sus hilarantes diálogos, ponen los puntos sobre las íes y explican exactamente cómo los sentimientos han acabado por dominar los mercados y fomentaron la crisis. Británicamente desternillante."Disfrutad del vídeo.
| | By: BOLSEANDO, blog de bolsa | | |
| | Humor jokes-Old Farmers | | 2008-05-04 23:12:57 | | Two old farmers had hauled a truck load of squirming hogs eighty miles from their west Kansas farm to the nearest market. The old truck had overheated twice; the hogs were keeping the truck rocking, even when it was stopped, and the hot summer Kansas wind was drying them out fast.Within three miles of the market, they passed a tavern and pulled in for a couple of draft beers. The place was dimly lit and air conditioned.After about 20 minutes, one says to the other, "It's going to be really hard to get up, but I reckon we ought to."About that time, a quite obvious prostitute walks up to the bar, works her way in between them, and says, "You guys look about ready for action. I'll do anything you want me to do for $60."The old farmer pulls three $20 bills out of his pocket and replies, "Here you go, Ma'am; git that load of hawgs to the Maple Street auction barn." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | | Humor jokes-Bee inconspicuous | | 2008-05-02 03:37:49 | | Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going."Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey.""No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit.""Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be.""Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee."That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp." | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Buen humor | | 2008-04-30 13:04:14 | | Buen humor. Cuentos para niños. Literatura infantil y juvenil.
Mi padre me dejó en herencia el mejor bien que se pueda imaginar: el buen humor. Y, ¿quién era mi padre? Claro que nada tiene esto que ver con el humor. Era vivaracho y corpulento, gordo y rechoncho, y tanto su exterior como su interior estaban en [...] | | By: Contenidos Literarios Infantiles Gratis para Padre | | |
| | Humor jokes-Dinner | | 2008-04-30 10:28:47 | | A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?""No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied."Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked."No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.""Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!""Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money.Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that?" I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgust | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Really funny jokes-Blonde humor | | 2008-04-29 23:32:30 | | One day, a blond and her male co-worker are sitting in the lunch room, and the guy says, "I can't take anymore today, I am going home!" The blond replies, "You can't just get up and leave. You'll be fired!". "Not to worry, I am going to be sent home. I have an idea." the guy says and leaves the room.The blond finishes her lunch and heads back into work, to see her co-worker hanging upside down from the ceiling, yelling over and over, "I'm a lightbulb!". The owner hears this and comes down. He takes one look at the guy, hanging upside down, yelling he is a lightbulb, and sends him home for the rest of the day, with pay, so he can rest, because he has obviously been working to hard.The guy gets down off the ceiling, thanks the owner and leaves.The blond turns around and starts to leave. The owner yells to her, "Hey where the heck do you think you are going?" The blond replies, "I'm going home. You can't expect me to work in the dark!" | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Medical Humor - Compensation | | 2008-04-29 18:36:29 | | The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.”
“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then [...] | | By: JeffreyMD | | |
| | Humor jokes-Business trip | | 2008-04-29 00:00:20 | | A businessman checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavyhair, long graceful legs all the way up to her..... you know the kind.He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.'Hello?' the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | | Best Funny Donkey Video - Donkey Humor | | 2008-04-26 06:40:55 | | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebnugdjcpo4
Here we have a donkey that just dont want to leave this poor man alone!
Hehe, this is a extremely old video, so I think most of you savvy youtube
users out there have probably seen this. If you havent seen it, nows your chance.
Animal humor at its best. Conclusion: Donkeys will never become mans best friend.
Vintage Star Wars
Massage Equipment | | By: Funny Clean Videos ! | | |
| | | Humor jokes-Mutual Attraction | | 2008-04-25 23:15:25 | | In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!"The wife responded calmly, "Allow me to explain...the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Historia Argentina con Drama y Humor | | 2008-04-25 18:28:46 | | Queremos invitarlos a participar de la presentación de este libro sumamente interesante donde, Salvador Ferla, analiza y detalla en profundidad algunos de los suscesos más relevantes de nuestra historia. En nombre de Espacio San Isidro rendimos un sincero y humilde homenaje a Salvador y le auguramos a nuestra compañera Diana Ferla el mayor de los exitos. Visita nuestro espacio en ClarinBloghttp://blogs.clarin.com/espaciosanisidro/postsespacio_sanisidro@yahoo.com.ar | | By: Espacio San Isidro | | |
| | Short humor jokes-Feeding | | 2008-04-23 23:39:55 | | An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a naked man standing in a clearing.The elephant slowly looks the man up an down and says, "How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?" | | By: Really funny jokes | | |
| | Humor jokes- A Proven New Yorker | | 2008-04-23 00:20:26 | | A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement."Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" he asked the man."I'm a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof.""Yes, go on," said the astounded judge."Well, I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to take them out. They told me my library card had expired and I had to get a new one. So I went to the registration office and got in another line. And filled outmy forms for another card. And got back in line for my card.""And?" said the judge."And he asked 'Can you prove you're from New York City?' ....So I stabbed him." | | By: Life Disguised in Humor | | |
| | Humor: Nuevo Video Clip de Wall*E 2008 | | 2008-04-22 21:32:11 | | En esta películas nos trasladaremos al año 2700 y para los disléxicos, no es el año 2007!El Director y Escritor, premiado por la Academia Andrew Stanton (Buscando a Nemo), nos trae la historia de un pequeño robot y sus aventuras cómicas mientras atraviesa la galaxia en búsqueda de sus sueños...
| | By: Noticias y Entretenimiento | | |
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