| When I was five my dad discovered his cholesterol was super high, so he changed his lifestyle right away. My mom started serving shitty, dry chicken nearly every night for dinner, and I started eating over at my friends’ houses every chance I got. It’s really a shame because back in the day she’d make some mean dishes like lasagna and chocolate chip cookies. She still makes fabulous honey cake and potato latkes. It’s just that fucking chicken that gets to me.When I was 10 I started getting cholesterol tests during my yearly checkups. I hated them, but the smiley face sticker the nurse gave me when it was over made it worthwhile. In the 8th grade my cholesterol was 208, which is considered high, and I voluntarily went on a low-fat diet for one year. It’s fucking nuts that a 13 year-old kid would do this, but since both my parents had high cholesterol, I thought it was necessary.The only two times I ordered pizza that year I said, “I’d like a half-cheese pizza, please.”... |
